Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 11F: This Fucking Boat Spoiler We start our adventures off with a shit-ton of inventory management… Spoiler Moving all sorts of things we picked up last chapter around. Off to the shop for our magic users EVERYONE GETS A JAVELIN. Well, these four do, at least. yay …followed by a skirmish… Spoiler BENCHED. PERMANENTLY. Gilliam does a thing. Cormag does things. Fordo Baggins and K-Dawg slayin' 'em hard. And other miscellaneous levels and things. Free money! Free things! …and more inventory management! Spoiler Moving things around! STRIPPING YOU OF EVERYTHING YOU OWN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. K-Dawg scorin' dat Speedwing this time. I figured, if he's going to fulfill his role as a knight, he has some catching up to do. …yeah. Onward to the plot!The product of Grado's research into the dark arts, the Dark Stone possesses power far beyond that of the Sacred Stones. According to the rumors swirling about, Vigarde's descent into madness coincides with the creation of the Dark Stone. Ephraim must confirm the existence of the Dark Stone. He decides to travel to Grado by sea. That word "fog" is scaring me. And so, it begins… yay villain stuff Oh shit, Lyon's giving an order. Bad dragon jokes incoming. "It looks common in every aspect but its shape. It looks like…well, you'll know when you see it." Goddammit, Lyon, at least wait until you have some privacy. she's still loyal yaaaaaay And with that, we're on this fucking boat. Now, I'd like to introduce to you the setting in which I played this chapter: This fucking boat. I have a long history with this fucking boat because I live in a part of this city where the only way to get anywhere is by riding this fucking boat. My life has revolved around this fucking boat for the past ten years or so and I'm looking forward to the day I can move to a place where my commute doesn't involve a fucking boat. If this fucking boat has one redeeming quality, it's beer. Congrats! This boat is actually a pleasant ride for first-riders! It's got some great views all around. And that is the entirety of their conversation! Fog? What f— GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. I haven't even started playing the map and I already hate it. o hey rievMay I have your attention, please?Welcome aboard THIS FUCKING BOAT.Please take a moment and pay attention to the following safety announcements.During docking, stay off the stairs, ramps, and landings until the ferry has come to a complete stop at the terminal.Failure to do so could result in serious injury.In case of an emergency, listen for announcements and instructions from the crew.Please familiarize yourself with the location of life jackets on this ferry. They are located in marked lockers and bins along the cabin walls. See instructions for their use, which are posted in red frames throughout the ferry. For assistance, see uniformed crew members located on each deck.Thank you for riding THIS FUCKING BOAT. Now that I got that joke (which absolutely none of you will understand at the same level I do) out of the way, on to strategy. Various uses of the torch staff have revealed to me exactly how many enemy units are on that fucking boat. Let's call them tourists for the remainder of the chapter. Especially the eyes that come out of fucking nowhere. Let's call them selfie-stick tourists. I figured there must be something that would happen to get my units on that fucking boat, so I line all my units up by the wall of this fucking boat. This moment was accompanied by an earthquake effect because these guys apparently place wooden planks on fucking boats with the force of an earthquake. "They're trying to board our fucking boat? I've got the perfect plan. Let's board their fucking boat first!" Luckily for me, they happened to set the planks right where I positioned Ephraim, Duessel, and Seth. Anyway, fuck this guy. And so begins this fucking boat battle! yay also yay I'm not sure how many of you checked the inventory management stuff, but I picked up a Runesword in the skirmish and gave it to Joshua. It's pretty cool. There aren't many swords that attack at range. Come on, Lute. That level was Amelia levels of bad. Duessel does a thing. I keep Seth back on this fucking boat, just in case. And Cormag takes out the last of the gargoyles to the south. Don't want him near that fucking boat while there are archers on board. Oh shit, Joshua took damage. What ever will he do to survive? Sap opponents' health, because the Runesword is like Nosferatu, but a sword. I'd be mad at Joshua's level, but it's still better than the alternate-reality zero-stat Joshua. Plus, he's already reached the unpromoted skill and speed caps. FUCK YOUR SHIT, TOURIST. Joshua, sappin' all the health. yay The unit Forde just killed was an enemy that spawned from a staircase, presumably to get a good look at lower Manhattan while he had the chance. Franz plugs the staircase and— ASK ME IF I GIVE A SINGLE GODDAMN SHIT ABOUT THE GODDAMN VIEWS. AND FUCK YOU, TOO. Perhaps, Seth isn't needed on this fucking boat anymore, so I send him back to that fucking boat. Yeah, Garcia! Somewhere in the midst of all that, Cormag made his way to that fucking boat. There are still archers on board, so I have Duessel take out one of them, putting Cormag in a safe spot. Damn straight, F-Ram. And I take out the other archer, anyway, because fuck that guy. I think about moving Artur to that fucking boat, but I don't have a good view in this fog quite yet. Quite a few selfie-stick tourists up top. I suppose I should leave Artur on— WHY DID I DO THAT? I don't know what was going through my mind at this point. I'm looking through the screenshots now and noticing I could've had Artur at least lure out that one eye in the top center, and possibly any that might have been hiding in the fog in the upper left. No idea why I did what I did. Anyway, things. GARGOYLE FROM FUCKING NOWHERE. I'm pretty sure this was a crit, but I missed any of the cool parts of the animation. Whatever. FUCK YOU, FLYING TOURIST. ANOTHER GARGOYLE FROM FUCKING NOWHERE. Can an argument be made that fog of war maps are worse than desert maps? I haven't played a desert map in this game yet, but I can't imagine that the movement limits can be worse than not knowing where your enemies are. Better. ANOTHER FUCKING BOAT. Oh, it's just these guys. Carry on. Get out. DON'T ENCOURAGE HER. rennac is gone what a surprise This supports my theory that Rennac saw a large army and thought, "Fuck these guys, I'mma hook myself up with an army." Malkon, if you still feel you didn't get your fix of dirty jokes in your last update, have fun. Something moved over here in the enemy phase. Sending Artur over to prepare. Ephraim makes his way toward L'Arachel. Forde and Franz take out that flying tourist. Lute heads north and heals in preparation for some selfie-stick tourists. Natasha heads south to clear up some of the fog. Let's see what it was that— … …………… FUCK. MOVE EVERYONE BACK TO THIS FUCKING BOAT. GODDAMMIT STAY AWAY FROM MY HEALER. Oh, good. It wasn't that bad, after all. Dozla Steals Experience, Another Fucking Boat Edition! HANG IN THERE, FRANZ. Don't give into their whims. They're just tourists! Franz, don't do this to me. You've been with me for too long to pull this shit. …Franz? FRANZ?! NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!! DOZLA, NOW IS REALLY NOT THE TIME TO BE STEALING EXPERIENCE. recruitment yaaaaay CAN YOU BRING BACK FRANZ? CAN YOU?! R.I.P. Lil' Franz, Chapter 1 – Chapter 11F "I'm sure tales of my deeds have spread far and wide, with people all over the continent praising me for my—" "…Well, fuck." Damn, shit just got dark. "Now's not the time to be contemplating suicide, or else you'll die at the hands of tourists…which would achieve the same ends, I guess… Look, we got shit to do, okay?" L'Arachel is back on our team! At this point, I'm thinking about whether to recruit Dozla… …or move L'Arachel to safety. Keep in mind that moving L'Arachel up to Dozla will expand the selfie-stick tourist's range accordingly. But we've got other matters to deal with on this fucking boat, so I've got some time to think about that. Yeah. Boss is too strong for Seth to finish easily. Duessel decides to lend a hand, weapon triangle advantage and everything. And down goes the boss! Completely forgot to grab his stats, but I had other things to worry about, like killing the boss. And the other flying tourist by it, too. With that threat out of the way, I start moving units back to that fucking boat. Lute kicks some ass, as well. He needed that. Looks like there aren't any safe spots to which L'Arachel can run, so that narrows down my options! Hello, Dozla! And that's all we really need from this.May I have your attention, please? The ferry will be docking shortly.For your safety, all passengers are to remain off stairs, ramps, and landings until the ferry has come to a complete stop at the terminal.Remain behind the designated barriers for docking.Failure to do so could result in serious injury.Please check and ensure that you have all your personal belongings with you as you leave the ferry.Please place all trash in the receptacles provided throughout the ferry.Thank you for riding THIS FUCKING BOAT. And with that, there remains only one. I tried to use L'Arachel's torch staff to clear some fog just for experience, but it turns out she doesn't get a torch staff on Ephraim's route. So I have Natasha clear some fog and L'Arachel do some light healing.All passengers must depart the ferry at this time. Passengers wishing to make the return trip must DIE. NO ONE MAKES THIS RETURN TRIP ALIVE. yaaaaay No, we don't. Let's see if she can connect the dots on her own. …Nope! Shit, man. Haven't I referenced FE7: TPII enough in this run? "Didn't seem small to me." No, L'Arachel. You should stop talking before you— Oh…right. That's a thing. yaaaay WHAT THE FUCK, DOZLA? DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM. Next time: I think that puts us in Grado territory. Screenshot count: 258 Total: 4,001 Edited April 13, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 12F Much like 11E, we have another chapter here that I may not be able to open and recover. I'll leave the imgur gallery link here and maybe rewrite the commentary one day. Edited April 13, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 13F: The Bad Dragonstone Spoiler Grindfest! Spoiler Inventory management! Spoiler Skirmish! Spoiler Natasha and Joshua's support level increased. I'm not posting the full convo because it's already in Chapter 9E. More inventory management! Spoiler More skirmish! Spoiler This skirmish was much less eventful. Just enough inventory management to replace broken javelins this time. Spoiler Also, Marisa gets an iron sword. And that's all of the skirmishes on the map. Let's check out this Tower of Valni stuff. Spoiler Ewan's growth rates are a bit better than Amelia's. I'll put some effort into him. Onto the second floor! That's enough Valni for now. I'll do more of this in the future, though. Just gonna buy a new slim lance for Tana, and then, we're of to the pl— EVEN MORE SKIRMISH. Spoiler SO MUCH INVENTORY MANAGEMENT. Spoiler ALL OF THE SKIRMISH. Spoiler WE DEFENDED THE CONVOY FOR A REASON. Spoiler All right. It's over. To the plot!They learn from soldiers and villagers that Myrrh had been captured by General Selena, one of Grado's commanders. She was last seen heading east. To regain their companion, the group will now be forced to fight. Ephraim steels his heart to the reality that he must face Selena. It's been a while since the narrator spoiled the plot stuff for us, hasn't it? Myrrh is seen flying into this village. "Lyon was right—it looks like an ordinary gemstone, except it's shaped like a—" Selena is scared. The floating text box has her right where it wants her. It's going to take the dragonstone and— Dammit, Myrrh! You almost had it! Now, Selena is in control of the situation. Ya done goofed, Myrrh. And I told him, "If you let my dragonstone go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you." Myrrh, take my advice. Threatening dragonkin is a much more effective route to play than loli-in-distress. Told ya. Character development! I must've accidentally skipped over the screenshot where she mentions the fluorspar stone she has, which was the entire point of me uploading this part of the conversation, but whatever. So, it turns out there's meaning behind these nicknames, though "Valter the Moonstone" is still ridiculous. Playing the girl talk angle? More personal, I suppose, but still less likely to get you back your dragonstone than the threatening dragonkin angle. More character development! …Looks like we won't have any happy reunions with Lyon and Vigarde at the end of this game. What did I tell you, Myrrh? I knew it wasn't going to work. bolting is in this game yaaaaaaaaayMagic used to seem so hard, but I…I think I've got it. I've turned a corner in my education. I'm a real mage! But I'm not going to stop studying… Not until I've become a great sage, like my teacher! For those who decided to skip over Grindfest, Ewan reached Level 10. But do I make him a mage or a shaman? On one hand, I want a replacement for Lute, but on the other, I'll have Saleh soon enough and I don't have anyone yet that can use dark magic. What's it gonna be? The suspense is building! Here it comes… Shaman! That's about as much as two good levels, plus the 2 constitution. Won't be needing this anymore! Benching L'Arachel for this chapter, so heal staff priority goes to Natasha. My party. The map. Parts of the river look awkward to me, mostly because the corners of some of the ground tiles aren't meant to include corners for adjacent water tiles. The Butterfly Effect: Gerik and Tethys We first encounter these two under the employment of Innes in Chapter 10E. In Ephraim's route, they're seen here. Why are you on a different route? This confirms my earlier thoughts that Eirika's lack of miracle reinforcements screwed Innes' situation pretty harshly. Innes is probably on his way to Jehanna (either alone or with Eirika) and he apparently sent these two here to aid Ephraim. "Bitch please, I'm like fifty times as old as you." Mrrrrrrrr ain't waitin' for no one. Character development! These two are blue units right off the bat, so I'll show their stats now. I don't think anything's different about them than in Eirika's route, except maybe the items Tethys is holding. The action begins! Took out the axe fighters over here with my units with swords. Let's take a moment to appreciate Bolting's range. Thankfully, those aren't all danger spots, as Selena won't move because she's a boss, but yeah… Speaking of which, fuck this game for showing bosses' movement ranges when they don't move. Ephraim heads this way because he might have a conversation with Gerik. I also move my axe units this way because of the soldiers. Gilliam stays right here to attract the archers. My flying units split up to cover ground. And Gerik does things! Set up so that Tethys stays out of danger. GODDAMMIT, GERIK. At least, he got this one. Defensive action shots! Axe team continues to move out. Gerik finishes that job and earns a mediocre level. Now, if Gerik had killed that cavalier on the enemy phase, he would've been able to use that turn killing one of these fighters, followed by the other after a dance, but because that didn't happen, I can't do that. So, I get Duessel to close the gap, ensuring Tethys' safety. Hah! Cormag confronts the other archer head-on, earning a shit level. Strategy! So many bad levels this map. Tana sets up here to get the mage on defense. For the first time in this run, a dragon-slaying weapon appears as a significant threat. And now, it's mine. The mage didn't go for Tana. Boss quote. Hopefully, she doesn't— HOLY— Shit's dangerous. SLEEP STAVES, TOO?! It'd suck to get caught by a sleep staff in Bolting range. Good think sleep staves suck! Reinforcements. Pegasi and fighters will show up from the south for a few turns. Conversation! The recruitment music is playing. Gerik has been playable from the start of the map. Why is the recruitment music playing? That pretentious fuck. we recruited gerik yaaaaaaay THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR IGNORING ME. Now that Gilliam has done his job with the archers, time for him to regroup with the army! Cormag gets right the fuck out of there. I clear the path for Seth to start making his way toward the village. FUCK YOUR SHIT. Bolting strikes again! But it misses this time. Selena's stats. Bolting only has five uses, and she's already used two of them. I'mma take advantage of that. Gerik continues the streak of shit levels, but hey we have a halberd. DANCE FOR YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR DOZLA. Seth ends up one space before the village, so I have him kill the archer because his javelin broke. DAMMIT GILLIAM, PICK UP THE PACE. FUCK YOUR SLEEP STAFF SHIT. Sending Cormag in, and putting Natasha in a better spot to get to everyone to heal. This happened. Action Seth. What's this shit, Duessel? I get the whole weapon triangle thing, but that's no excuse to miss with an 82% hit rate. I did not think this through. Eh, could've gone worse, I g— NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE Dozla clears the path for Duessel to visit the village.She even came to our aid when we were attacked by bandits. …… Please, I beg of you. Don't hurt Dame Selena. "Bitch, she tried to kill me." Starting to get a bit worried about Gerik's health. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE Cormag comes in to give Seth some aid. Actually got afraid of Seth's health, so I took a turn to use a vulnerary. Action shots! Yeah, Gerik. She's got one use of Bolting left. Will she use it wisely? We'll find out soon enough. But first…Did you come to warn us about the fighting going on? Thanks so much. Here, please take this staff. Oh, go on. Don't be shy. I suppose I'll find out what this does between chapters. And Seth allows Cormag to take on all those ranged units. Not so worried about Gerik's health anymore. …yeah. Duessel takes out this knight guarding the bridge, allowing us to move toward the center. "GUYS WAIT FOR ME, I'M ALMOST THERE." Starting to go for the shamans around Selena. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE Fuckin' Zanbato, man. Come on, Duessel. Get your shit together. No kills, but good damage on both cavaliers. And the levels get worse. And with that, Selena is fresh out of Bolting, which means we can all roam the map freely now! Pirates are spawning on the lower-left. Sending Seth down to deal with them. Also knocking down this snag so Seth can go straight towards Selena if necessary. "COME ON, GUYS, AT LEAST LEAVE ONE FOR ME." Action shots! Swap Duessel out for Ephraim and acquire Zanbato. I almost forgot that Dozla can walk on water because he's Jesus. …yeah. Doesn't get a kill, but we finally got a solid level-up! HOW THE BALLS DID THAT HIT? Another pirate spawned and the pirates are moving north. Seth follows them. Cormag finishes the job on this mage. COME ON, DOZLA. YOU WERE DOING SO WELL. Ephraim comes in and finishes the job with the axereaver, proving that Cormag's last level was a freak accident. And that's the last of Selena's guards. All that's left is her and the two pirates. Ephraim would have no problem securing the kill with Reginleif. But a little extra experience for Tana won't hurt! Chipped down just enough to only need one use of Reginleif. No unique boss conversations. I'm disappointed. Landed a crit, though. One of the better levels in this chapter. But the map isn't over until all enemies are dead. I have Seth lure out the pirates for some staff abuse.\ This pirate went for Artur. No worries, though. There's still another with his eyes set on Seth. Moving Seth over here to ensure the pirate doesn't interfere with my staff abuse. Because why not get some dance abuse in there, too? Cool, that's enough of that. Time to end this! Seth dodged just enough hand axes throughout the staff abuse to ensure a level on the kill. To the plot! "It looks like—wait a moment…" I'd believe that if you even tried to talk to her. You just up and Reginleif'd all over her without a word. This seems to be a theme in this game, having to fight well-natured people simply because they're on the other side and branded enemies. Is this a theme throughout the series, with the point driven to this same extent, or is this the message in this game in particular, like with Path of Racism? Next time: We go to the capital and possibly learn the truth behind this madness. Screenshot count: 385 Total: 4,612 Edited April 13, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 14F: My Army's Gone Berserk Spoiler Just doing the two skirmishes on the map this time around. I don't think I need to do Valni grinding again. Spoiler TO THE SPIDERS. Tana's doing well. So, this is what the Barrier staff looks like. It boosts resistance by up to 7 points, with its effect wearing by one point each turn. yaaaay Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit. I figure Tana can become a Wyvern Knight, so I'll give Cormag the promotion unique to him. Managed to capture a lightning strike. Fuck yeah Cormag. And skirmish #2 Spoiler This little shit's coming along pretty well. Colm's pretty close to promotion. I'm not sure if I mentioned it during Rennac's recruitment in 14E, but thieves can promote in this game. I think that's a series first. EDIT: Turns out it's not. Thieves were able to promote in FE4, 5, and 7 before this game. Healers do things. Our dancer does some grinding, as well. ……… yaaaaaay Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit. I figured, since he maxed his skill and speed so quickly, Swordmaster would be the most fitting promotion for him. Couldn't get the lightning strike, but got this puffy smoke shit. Yeah… And now, to the plot! A noble warrior to the end, Selena fought with great honor, never once using Myrrh as a hostage. Selena is added to the list of innocents who Grado must account for. The center of the Grado Empire. Emperor Vigarde should have been here, but… For once, the expository plot stuff doesn't spoil what's to come. In fact, it actually gives us a cliffhanger! Shit, this looks like it's about to go to another flashback. Oh. That sounds like a quick summation of what could have been a flashback. Good thing we're not— OH, GODDAMMIT. So, that's what the Fire Emblem is in Magvel. Cool. Lyon briefly becomes an automated presentation for Grado history. I briefly considered approaching Malkon to see if he might have wanted to take a shot at being a guest author for this episode, but I don't think we would have liked sifting through nearly 500 screenshots again and he might have broken my chapter up into two parts. So I'll just have you use your imagination as to what Lyon might mean by "discipline" in this context. "I don't know how you like them fake-tittied Grado women." "But, y'see, it's not fake-tittied Grado women that get me going…it's you that does that for me, F-Ram." WHAT THE— HOLY DOMESTIC ABUSE BATMAN Managed to capture two different screenshots in the earthquake scene this time. Might've animated them a bit too fast, but you get the idea. "Seriously, Myrrh. How old are you? Have you never been to Grado before?" plot twist of the century yaaaaaay Let's check in with the Grado royal fa— … Holy shit. Shit just got real. What the actual fuck. What's wrong with Lyon? Sure, he's recalling some tough memories, but— Oh… Ohhhhhhhhh… Carry on. Then stop looking like a horrid beast. Seriously. Did you put on eyeliner in the few seconds it took for this soldier to enter the throne room? To battle! My party. I anticipate Rennac's appearance in this chapter, which is the only reason why I have L'Arachel instead of Natasha. The map. Lots of chests, so I also have Colm in the party to help out with that. And the battle begins! Aaaaand that's my first turn. Not much goin' on Turn 1. Enter Rennac. reinforcements yaaaay Rennac is up here. He'll probably loot that chest, and then I'll need to check out his movements so I can get L'Arachel to recruit him. Fuck yeah, Tana. Gonna send Dozla up here to deal with these reinforcements. Kyle does a thing, too. Colm starts moving in towards these chests. Not enough for a kill, but it's something. And good thing I attacked from range, too—fucker's got an armorslayer. Cormag helps out with the knights at the door. Duessel finishes this one off. Joshua prepares for these fighters over here. And Seth does a thing, because why not? …The Swordmaster animations are weird. This is what it looks like during the strike. Again, weird. …I probably shouldn't've equipped the sword on Kyle, given the soldiers in the area. …That works! Hah! I…I don't understand. What's the difference? I end up sending the swordreaver to the convoy, as the swordslayer has a higher hit rate. Rennac did the thing. more reinforcements yaaaaaaay Duessel's on reinforcement duty down this end. Tana opens the door. Colm starts going in for the chests. He also gets a chest key, which he'll have to trade off because Colm always uses Lockpick to open things. Cormag stays in the area to help out with Colm. He'll probably get the chest key. Equipping the runesword on Joshua because of the archers and javelins in the area. Ephraim and Dozla prepare for the opening of this door. Action shots! Seth draws the archers in toward him. Ephraim also draws an archer in close. Fuckin' sleep staffs. I totally meant to aim for the sniper for this one. This worked, too, though. EAT SHIT, MERCENARY. Duessel stays over there to deal with the reinforcements. No, I don't know why the archer went for Seth instead of Joshua. But he put himself in Joshua range and paid the price. Gilliam manages to provide some small punishment against the other archer. Not quite enough for a kill yet, though. restore staff yaaaaay I give Seth the door key to open the door next turn. About to send Cormag in against the shamans. Just making sure he's out of archer range. And they are. And so they fuck some shit up. Not sure who this archer went after, but he gets punished by Assray. Tana gets in on the action over here now. I found this screenshot to be entertaining. It's amazing how these artists think about these animations. In context, it looks beautiful, but in a screenshot, it looks silly. Ephraim missed the first attack of the double. Otherwise, he would've gotten the kill. Still gets a solid level out of it, though, so I can't complain too much. Shit. He attempted to use the sleep staff on my one staff user. Smart thinking, AI. FUCK YOUR SHIT, MYRMIDON. And the door is open! Now that the reinforcements have stopped spawning, Duessel comes back to the party. I chose this spot because he can do some damage while also luring the archer back out. FUCK YOUR SLEEP STAFF SHIT. And L'Arachel comes back for safety. Yeah… Continuing to get into position for this door. These guys start moving now that the west door is open. It worked! Kyle managed to lure this guy out, too, so he'll get picked off next turn. …I guess this is where I learn how the berserk staff works. Ephraim opens the door. Artur takes out this archer. Duessel does a thing with his fancy new armorslayer. Seth is way up here. L'Arachel can't get to him to restore him. But I figure I can move her in pretty close to get him on the next turn. yaaaaaaaay Again, not enough for the kill, but he gets a great level. …So, that's what the berserk staff does. Seth is under berserk. He's killing my army. And the only unit who could've restored him to sanity is now dead. …Fuck. Kyle's health is getting pretty low, too. Too bad my healer is dead. Cool. HOW IS THAT HIT RATE SO HIGH And the last chest down here is the Hammerne staff. Cool. Fuck your sleep shit. With L'Arachel out of the picture, it's up to F-Ram to recruit Rennac. I looked and Kyle's movement range and, while I don't think I showed it, I moved Tana right the fuck out of there. Looking at Seth's movement range and assessing my options… I decide to sacrifice Gilliam so that Joshua and Duessel may escape. Oh, shit. This may not turn out so bad, after all. Cool. FUCK. Oh hey, look. My berserker…has gone berserk. I'm here all week, thank you very much! And with Joshua and Duessel blocking that exit, Rennac starts heading back the other way, making it easier for F-Ram to get to him. "…my dick." …No words. If Malkon had decided to play this game instead of FE7, he wouldn't be able to call it, "The Politically Incorrect Interpretation," because it wouldn't be all that politically incorrect. "Or are you just happy to see me?" "Oh, I'll show you a beast." "No rape, though. It was all consensual." "You should be the one paying me for these 'goods'." Maybe, you shouldn't've whipped out your dick when you approached him. I couldn't think of any other reason why he'd open with, "I'm not interested in men." I wish I did some save state stuff and picked, "No," just to see the conversation, but I didn't. "Possibly…with my dick." And Rennac is ours! Once again, he comes with a Member Card and everything he's looted up to that point. And his first job is to open this door. I try to get Joshua the fuck away from Seth and Duessel, though I he didn't have enough movement to escape Seth. I've got little hope for Kyle's survival at this point. All of these guys stay the fuck away from Dozla. And Colm makes his way towards…stuff. Kyle gets a kill. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK And down goes Kyle. So, these things can miss! There is yet hope! My best hope for Joshua's survival at this point is to use what's left of the runesword. He won't get a kill on the druid, but at least, he'll get some— WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT. FOR ZERO-STAT JOSHUA. Seth and Dozla have the same movement range down the east end. Ephraim moves right the hell out of there. SETH STOP KILLING MY ARMY. SETH YOU JUST KILLED JESUS. DOZLA YOU COULD'VE ASKED FOR A MUCH BETTER ENDING. FUCK. I've got them pressured. No more berserk staffs here. And Seth is cured! About goddamn time. meh I have lost all hope for Duessel at this point. He's not living. I move Gilliam just outside that attack range. Because he's still a thing. yaaaaaaaay And down goes Duessel. I move Colm up to the mages. I figure he's at max speed and may be able to draw some attention away from some of my units with lower health. I'd also like someone to move toward that chest up there. Colm, why aren't you dodging? Colm… WHY AREN'T YOU DODGING? GODDAMMIT. You know what else I lost with Colm? Fucking Hammerne. GILLIAM, YOU GET RIGHT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. I send Tana in to go for the mages and I have Cormag behind her for some moral support. And they all go for Cormag. I should've thought that one through better. Of course, Cormag would have lower resistance. …Well, one of them goes for Tana, at least. STOP IT. At the very least, Cormag got the kill on every enemy that approached him, so it's not all bad, but it means Tana won't promote this map. So, here's Vigarde. But, we ain't doin' shit until Rennac gets the chest. On to the boss! After assessing my options, my best bet is to have F-Ram take on the boss by himself. The armor bonus from Reginleif is too great to ignore, and the only unit I have that can do ranged damage is Cormag, whose health is too low for me to want to take that risk. Now, you'll notice that 1) Ephraim's hit rate is 63%, which is still better than 50/50, but still low enough for things to turn for the worse; 2) he's only capable of dealing 46 damage in one round; and 3) he can't take more than one hit without dying. Unique boss conversation with Ephraim. Haven't seen one of these in a while. Vigarde is a man of few words. Shit. At this point, only one thought is running through my mind: If Ephraim dies, I get to start the chapter over, and maybe I won't lose half my team to berserk staffs. And so, for the first time in possibly my entire game-playing life, I am rooting against myself. Come on, Vigarde! You got this! FUCK. It's okay. Ephraim's hit rate isn't exactly stellar, so there's a chance that— GODDAMMIT, VIGARDE. Ephraim maxes out his level. I would usually partake in some minor staff abuse at this point, but… R.I.P. L'Arachel, Chapter 11F—Chapter 14F Not without some sacrifices, though. R.I.P. K-Dawg, Chapter 5x—Chapter 14F R.I.P. Zero-Stat Joshua, Chapter 5—Chapter 14F R.I.P. Dozla, Chapter 11F (but really, 0 A.D.)—Chapter 14F R.I.P. Duessel, Chapter 10F—Chapter 14F R.I.P. Colm, Chapter 3—Chapter 14F There aren't any soldiers left. We killed them all. Now, that's something you might want to look for. There he is! Damn straight. Ain't no one fukks wit F-Ram. Character development incoming! "All of Magvel shall become one massive Bad Dragon warehouse, owned and operated by myself!" I dunno, because making friends is a natural human thing to do? "You called me brave and handsome! And…and I let you 'wield my lance'!" "'Yo Mama' jokes are one thing, but don't start throwin' dads into the mix." "A CONTINENT OF DRAGON DICKS." Next time, on Dragon Ball Z! Really? How many? One. One prisoner does not constitute a plural. Lyon has managed to hold the floating text box prisoner. What kind of power does he possess? Even Seth is surprised! "Yup. Turn's out it's been rescheduled for last week. And seeing how it didn't happen, I believe you're good to go!" Knoll, I don't understand why that question is odd and why you think Ephraim is an executioner after he introduced himself as a man of not-Grado. You're silly. Where are you going with this, Knoll? Even Ephraim is sick of flashbacks at this point. Oh, cool! Where'd he come from? A meeting with the other leaders? A mission to save a village like Selena's? Oh… I don't think he's alive. I don't think that eternal state of mid-blink counts as opened eyes. Or living. Oh shit. Lyon, what are you doing? I missed most of the animation, but there were some white dots that flickered and the sound of glass shattering. …Welp. WELP. We've heard a lot about this Father MacGregor guy. Will we ever get to meet him? Also, 5,000th image right here. …Guess not. "The power of friendship will save us from the evil!" And suddenly, we're here. Hey look, it's the answer to the Don't Look This Up question from a few days ago! Shit, if I had played this chapter, like, a few days earlier, I would've gotten points for that. And so many others probably would have, too. And the search begins! And the search ends! yaaaaaaaaaay "I'm sure you don't have any important or urgent reason to come to the capital of the evil empire, most certainly not to deliver dire news about my sister, so would you mind doing me a favor?" "…Welp." Hey, there's the other answer to the DLTU question from the other day! And I actually knew that one, too. Tiger Eye, sure, but are we still fearing Travis the Moonstar? Fuck that guy. Next time: F-Ram and 'Rika reunite! But first, let's look at Knoll's stats. Compare that to Ewan's last level up in the grinding (Lv 4—HP: 22, Mag: 11, Skill: 5, Spd: 10, Luck: 13, Def: 3, Res: 8) and they're pretty on par with each other, despite the six-level difference. Screenshot count: 422 Total: 5,034 Gonna stop here for the night. I might have time tomorrow morning/afternoon to finish the job. Edited April 13, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 At this point, I opened up a poll to decide on which route I should continue the rest of the game. To help guide the vote, I posted stats for each character in each route. E-Route stats F-Route stats F-Route ended up winning the poll, so that's the team you'll see from here on out. Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Interlude G: A Brief Reminder of What Grado's Been Doing Spoiler Edited April 13, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 15: The Bitter End for Travis the Moonstar Spoiler Grindfest! Spoiler First, a stats summary. I'm showing the level, stats, and weapon level screens. I didn't see any importance in the other three screens, so this is how we start. If you'd like to look at every last level, weapon, and tiny amounts of gold I earned, along with all the grinding locations, click here. Fun fact: Every time you enter the Tower of Valni, you start on the first floor, and every time you exit, two skirmishes appear on the map. The only thing keeping you from grinding to infinity is money. You'll see my wallet by the end of this. In here, I have the units I promoted and details about the promotions I chose. Feel free to take a look. Spoiler I chose Wyvern Knight over Falcon Knight because dragons are cooler. Wyvern Knights also come with Pierce, known in other games as Luna. In this game, Pierce completely ignores the enemy's defense when activated and has an activation rate equal to the user's level. Bishops come with Slayer. This skill triples the damage of light tomes against monster units. After the brutal loss of all of my mounted units (other than Seth), I decided to put some work into Amelia. I'll eventually promote her to Great Knight. And they say lightning never strikes in the same place twice. …yeah. General comes with Great Shield, known as Pavise in the more recent games. Great Shield in this game completely negates any damage taken, with an activation rate equal to the enemy's level. Generals are also capable of wielding every weapon type, though I'm having Gilliam use axes exclusively until he hits S-rank in axes. Ordinary clerics can promote to Valkyrie in this game. I was afraid I wouldn't have a mounted healer when I lost L'Arachel, but this works, too. And closing stats. Marisa and Gerik are pretty close to hitting Lv 20, though I don't have any promotion items for them, so they'll have to wait. Onwards to the plot! Grado's General Caellach has attacked Jehanna Hall, forcing its surrender. Though Eirika and her troop have left the Hall, Grado's forces pursue them relentlessly. Trapped in the burning desert, enemy forces close in on them from all sides. He must go to his sister's aid. Title screen! we're here yaaaaay Hey…hey, guys? I don't think you know how desert maps work. Victory conditions. Defeating all the enemy troops will grant me more experience, so I have a mission to keep Eirika and Ephraim separated. Hey, it's totally-a-good-thing Lyon! "See? I'm talking about friendship. I must be a good thing!" …You're not talking about Zero-Stat Joshua, are you? Yeah…about that… Lyon, you don't need to be so susp— …Right. He's a major villain character. Don't worry, Lyon. He'll be dead by the end of the chapter. No need to worry about anything. My team. I doubt I'll put much more work into Gerik unless a spot opens up. The map. The cool thing about this desert map is that there's not a whole lot of desert. The combat can be fought almost entirely on the grass tiles with minimal involvement with the desert tiles. Guess who's back! But we're already here. …Didn't Eirika give that report to you in the first place? That's not up to you, Saleh. Now, that's different. You're a lord. Level 12. Level 12. At a point in the game when most of my units are either promoted or close to it, she rejoins the party at Level 12. I got her to Level 14 in E-Route without any grinding. Seeing her here at Level 12 is disappointing. And these guys. Both of them start out a few levels higher than their recruitments in E-Route. For Innes, this is a marginal loss, as I got him to Level 4, but this is a boost for Saleh, who leveled up not once in E-Route. And we begin! I wonder what's become of Queen Ismaire. You there… Take this, and do some good with it. Master Seals are in this game. Yay. Marisa will use that once she hits Lv 20. Hidden treasures are on this map. I think it'll be cool to not look them up and just happen across them. Take note of my funds. Grindfest was brutal. Anyway, Saleh gets a heal staff. AND THE ACTION BEGINS. I hope Eirika can take on these fighters. Gilliam fuckin' shit up with Ross' hatchet. The answer is no. Eirika can't take on these fighters. Yeah, Innes. She finishes this one off on offense. But why are these guys flying anywhere near the one archer I have? Feeding Marisa as much experience as I can. I don't know why an iron axe held by anyone else is different from an iron axe held by a general, but Gilliam's axe has a chain on it. Knoll's getting close to leveling up, as well. Let's visit this house. …there was a huge battle here long, long ago. I imagine this battle happened long before this place became a desert. Every day, I'm out here digging up ancient weapons and artifacts out of the sand. There are still more to be found, of that you can be sure. It's even said a long-dead sage left a copy of Metis's Tome out here… Oh! But I won't give that to anyone if I find it. Not a chance! At this point, I look up the locations of all the hidden treasures and put Rennac on treasure duty. I position Artur on this fort to start luring out the mounted units over there. Knoll's HP is worrying me right now. EAT SHIT, CAV. At least, this one comes for Artur. reinforcements yaaaaay Innes and Saleh finish off these two. Eirika comes back this way, too. Cormag gettin' ready for some wyvern slaughtering. This happens. He's healed fully at this point. Also, staves give half experience to promoted units in this game. Heal staves usually give 11 EXP, but Natasha only got 5 from this. No, Seth doesn't have any ranged weapons to counter with, but I figured I'd lure him in to get him in the area. Fuckin' deserts, man. Rennac pickin' up all kinds of shit. Putting Artur just in the range of this Ranger to clear the map of enemy arrows. Ephraim's already hit Level 20, so I don't want to put him in combat. He can just wait around here. I've seen better from you, Cormag. Action shots! This guy's got a long-range dark tome. Good thing it sucks! My traps work better than expected. more reinforcements yaaaaaaay Innes isn't doing anything else valuable right now. The emperor currently has six gemstones fighting in his service. Caellach, the Tiger Eye, commands the forces fighting here. The Moonstone, Valter, is taking part in this battle as well. Glen, also known as the Sunstone, died in the mountains of Carcino. Selena Fluorspar was killed in western Grado. Duessel, whom they call the Obsidian, is missing in action… The Blood Beryl, whose real name is Riev, has also gone missing. Hm? How do I know all this? I know I may look young and naive, but this is my job. I'm here to pass this information along and help you out. And it's good information, too, so don't waste it. For those of you who decided to skip Interlude G, here you go. Make sure you don't waste this information, especially the bit about Duessel. Saleh heads up to the corner of the map to cut these guys off before they can go anywhere. I send Eirika just in range of one of the pegasus knights to see how she fares. Marisa gets this kill. That tome will end up in the hands of one of my shamans eventually. This fucker thought he could avoid the slaughter with a javelin. Fuck that guy. And now that arrows are no longer a threat, I send Tana into the action. I start to send my magic units north and my physical units south. Marisa gets ready to fight these guys. Not quite fast enough to double these myrmidons, even though her speed is capped. And to no one's surprise, Eirika couldn't get a one-round kill. Cormag continues the wyvern slaughter. FUCK ALL YOUR SHIT. even more reinforcements yaaaaaaay Innes and Saleh do some good work. I move Eirika to get healed and remain in range of the one pegasus knight she already wounded, while staying out of range of the ones that just spawned. EAT ALL OF THE SHIT. Cormag is stalking his prey, aware of the threat of the berserker. I send Rennac to finish off the myrmidons. Because dancer levels matter so much, right? …yeah. This pegasus knight decided to fly over here. I assume the next will fly this way on the enemy phase, as well. And down goes this one. SHIT HAS BEEN SERVED IN MARISA'S RESTAURANT AND EVERYONE IS EATING IT. All this works out, too. A bit of wasted experience, but FUCK YOUR SHIT, TOO. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit. Decide to go with Assassin this time. Swordmaster didn't work out so well for me earlier. Silencer is this game's incarnation of Lethality. It has a 50% chance of turning a critical hit into a OHKO and doesn't work on boss characters. Rennac continues to find things. And that's the last of the pegasus knight reinforcements. Cormag's health looks a bit low, so I'll send him back for some healing. And with those reinforcements out of the way, I start sending Eirika south. HOLY BALLS THIS ONE HAD A BERSERK STAFF I COULD'VE LOST HALF MY ARMY AGAIN FUCK I NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL The other one doesn't have a berserk staff, so I won't worry so much about it. This guy is still trying to do things with Eclipse. …yeah. And with that, no more enemies surround Caellach. Let's take a look at his stats. He comes with a Hoplon Guard, which negates critical hits. And why not also take a look at Travis the Moonstar? He comes with a Fili Shield, which negates bonus damage from archers. …Y'know, I don't even know what I'm doing with Eirika anymore. Tana takes out the other troubador. Fuck your healers. That yellow glow means Great Shield activated. I don't think it really matters, though, because he wasn't going to take damage, anyway. And that takes out the last of the reinforcements that were spawning from these forts. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE I'll take it! I've heard that this is an efficient way to get those hidden treasures more quickly. GET THE FUCK OUT YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT REINFORCEMENTS I put Innes just inside the range of this enemy mage. I'd imagine this mage would like a choice of how he wants to die. I send Knoll down south to help Gilliam out with the mages within the reinforcements. Other than that, I expect Gilliam to solo these guys. FUCK YOU SHIT, WYVERN. Even with the critical, Tana can't quite put enough into it to get the kill. Boss fight #1 Boss quote #1 Dammit, Marisa. Artur gets a heal staff. This drops my budget below 1000G. I need to be more careful with my grinding and weapon usage. Fort healing tops off Caellach's health. Dammit. Gilliam wreckin' shit with Ross' hatchet. HAH. Eat shit, Caellach. By the way, yes, I'm aware that Caellach has the Hoplon Guard. I have Killing Edge equipped because it's the strongest sword Marisa currently has. STOP SHOWING UP. Fuck this guy. Considering giving Ewan some action. Having only Marisa in Caellach's range caused him to switch out the tomahawk for a silver axe, so I can get some range on him, but if I don't kill him this turn, he'll surely come back with the tomahawk. And to think I was worried that Gilliam wouldn't have the resistance to take on a lowly mage. Hah! This also happens. Knoll is no longer needed to support Gilliam. Action shots! And that should be the last of the reinforcements. Just enough for the kill. This guy has a devil axe. I send Seth in his range to see if I can have fun with him. desert map yaaaaaaaaay I decide to take advantage of Caellach's temporary lack of range with Artur. I ultimately decide against using Ewan. No one else in range can secure the kill, so if he misses, he's probably dead. for healing yaaaaaay Gilliam continues to kick ass. Caellach goes after Artur, who manages to survive. No Devil Axe fun today. Sorry, guys. Action shots! Rennac still getting things. This guy has a Guiding Ring. I need it because I only have one in my inventory, but two non-promoted magic units. It's not glowing green, which means he won't drop it upon defeat. Not bad, Tana. Not too many more of these guys to go. And Marisa gets the kill, along with a bunch of other things! Ewan has more need for Luna than— …And he gets a Warp staff, too. Cool. Action shots! And now, it's time to move everyone towards Travis the Moonstar! More treasure! And while we're waiting for Rennac to finish his duties, let's look at some conversations! First, Eirika and Tana. "And look at how not dead I am!" "It's only natural to come for you, Eirika." "…Y'know, friends." Eirika and Seth …Nothing funny to say about this one. Sorry, guys. Tana and Innes "I'll talk to you however I want. I'm the Prince of all Saiyans!" "ASK ME IF I GIVE A SINGLE SHIT." "I don't believe you." "How can you see shit with those eyes?" "I'm sure he doesn't want to see you turn up dead." He couldn't be overly heroic if he tried. He's an archer. And finally, Ewan and Saleh. "Look! I can use dark magic now! Aren't you proud of me?" Saleh, watch your words. No, he doesn't, Ewan. Don't get any ideas. "I can't teach you shit until you get ahold of anima magic again." And that's all of the conversations. yay Here are the details on what Eclipse does. Now, to steal that Guiding Ri— …Welp. I'll just send Cormag back over to— DAMMIT, CORMAG. That works. And with that out of the way, all that remains is Travis the Moonstar. Equipping everyone relevant with dragon-slaying items. …except Gilliam's axe rank isn't high enough yet. Eh. …yeah. Looking at all my chances first. I also check Innes, completely forgetting that Valter has the Fili Shield. I open with Gilliam. Both Cormag and Marisa are capable of killing Valter. I decide to send Cormag in on the chance of a unique boss conversation. One hit from Cormag and— WHAT THE FUCK. He missed and died on a crit. YOUR BROTHER WENT OUT EXACTLY LIKE THIS. Marisa gets this boss kill, as well. Cormag has been avenged! R.I.P. Cormag, Chapter 10F—Chapter 15 Onward to the plot! For those who decided to skip E-Route, this is what you missed. What the— Aren't you dead? You mean like how you're not dead?! Yes, I'd love to know where the fuck you've been if you're not dead. yay And so we meet at this fort in the middle of the fucking desert, because that makes sense. I don't get it. You all know each other. Is Saleh going to join the conversation at all? YOU FOUGHT IN MY ARMY. I RECRUITED YOU. THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME WE'RE MEETING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, L'ARACHEL. "We fucked shit up and took some names. Particularly, Vigarde's name." "Damn straight." For those who decided to skip F-Route, this is what you missed. "Dude, he's totally a good thing!" "Eirika, I'm afraid Lyon… :coolkong: …was lyin'." "Quit your bitchin'. Lyon's the enemy, good thing or not." YOU MEAN LIKE EXPLAINING YOURSELF? NO FUCKING SHIT. "It's right in the name of the game!" I have a theory. When units die, they become phantom beings within NS2. They discover what's going on and manage to infiltrate all of our runs. Zero-Stat Joshua has started making his way into other games, ruining level-ups everywhere. All of Mystery Ninja's picks die, make it into the system, and start trying to kill off all of MN's future picks. Navarre's death as the result of the Tie-ranogre fiasco resulted in the spread of the curse to his HoS LP. L'Arachel has a kind heart, however, and has made it back into the game to become relevant to the plot and prevent the extinction of my entire army. Thank you, L'Arachel. "…I mean, do we really have another choice?" A little detail about Lyon's possible motives, other than, "Hey, we don't really need these Sacred Stones anymore. Let's bash them!" Shit, Eirika. That's a secret of the Renais royal family. That's not something you just tell people. It'd be like the President giving the launch codes to the Prime Minister of Canada. Even in times of crisis, that's not something you just say. Next ti— Oh hey, it's these guys. GODDAMMIT, MYRRH. YOU'RE A GODDAMN DRAGON. WHEN YOU'RE BEING ATTACKED, FIGHT BACK WITH YOUR GODDAMN DRAGON THINGS. Next time: The crew returns to Renais Screenshot count: 460 Total: 5,494 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 16: The Poser of Renais Spoiler I'd like to start by showing you the new addition to the map: E-Route! All of the E-Route shops and skirmish maps are now available. First order of business: sell this thing. Neimi is dead and I need to fund my grinding addiction. Speaking of which… Grindfest! Spoiler My priority here was promoting my unpromoted units. I only brought along the select few I needed. This will probably be the last extensive grinding that I do. As Knoll was closest to the level cap, he was the first to promote. On the recommendation of the community here, I promoted him to a Summoner. He comes with the Summon skill. I have a little bit of fun with that in the chapter. Ewan was next to promote. Again, on the recommendations of the community, I promoted him to Druid. No abilities, but he gets his use of Anima magic back, as well as use of staves. Amelia received the bulk of the attention. I spent a good amount of time with her last grindfest getting her to the Lv 5 Cavalier point and most of the time here getting her the rest of the way. After I lost all my mounted units other than Seth to the Berserk Staff fiasco, I started prioritizing getting Amelia to replace them. I only worked with Eirika up to this point. I figured she can get the rest of that level during the actual map and we have to be coming close to the lord promotion at this point. Tethys did her Tethys thing. Who remembers this guy? I brought him along just in case anything happens to Natasha…and Saleh…and Artur, Knoll, and Ewan… Okay, I brought him along for shits and giggles. I got things, too. Also, this happened. Spoiler Tethys: Be careful. You're only a child, still learning magic. Ewan: I'M A FULLY-PROMOTED DRUID. To the plot! After the twins' absence, seeing their home ruined by war brings them terrible grief. However, he switched allegiances, betraying his oaths of loyalty to his homeland. Ephraim marks his homecoming by vowing to see Renais healed. There's a lot of betrayal in this game. Damn. I know. Look at all the dusty ground tiles they added. And the two damaged forts, too. So much destruction. "That fuckin' poser." Character development! "But…y'know…locked in his room…alone…? Wouldn't be surprised to find a basket of used, sticky tissues, is what I'm sayin'." To b— …Didn't you get that back, like, four chapters ago? Why are you only deciding to fight now? She's a goddamn dragon. She can handle herself. Orson goes through this door and is greeted by a green woman, which, at this point, I'm forced to assume is a sex doll. Lyon and Riev follow. Classic generic units! "He has the weirdest fetishes." "Probably. They're pretty damn weird." Treasure. Looks like I'm sending Rennac out this map. Orson, seen here roleplaying with that sex doll, apparently named Monica. …Well, given how we understand the resurrection magic to work, I wasn't exactly wrong. "At least have the courtesy to knock next time." "…Well, shit." To battle! Our party. Didn't feel like taking a bunch of map screenshots, nor would I have been in the mood to splice them all together, so we get the mini-map this time around. And the action begins! Let's see what Manaketes are like in this game. I'm already liking this screen. Awww, cute little Mrrrrrrrr. What harm could she possibly— WHAT THE— WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL NOW TO GODDAMN DEFEND YOURSELF? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU FOR THE PAST FOUR CHAPTERS? Great Knight Amelia is proving to be quite useful. Let's show off the Summon skill. It does exactly what you think it does. It summons a phantom on a tile adjacent to the user. The phantom's movement is not affected by terrain. This is probably why people told me to promote Knoll immediately, because this would've been valuable on the desert map, though I never really had to cross the center of the desert, so yeah… The phantom comes equipped with an iron axe. Not recommended for combat against myrmidons. And that's the end of Turn 1. Action shots, featuring GK Amelia! Mrrrrrrrr gets her first level. Not bad. This guy has a berserk staff. I ain't fallin' for that shit again. I'll get back to this in a moment. Feeding as much EXP to Eirika to make sure she hits Lv 20 by the end of the chapter. Summoning gives 10 EXP per use, much like a thief's stealing. On maps with plenty of low-level and unpromoted enemies, summoning and having the phantoms fight for you will grant more EXP than joining the fight yourself, and you won't have to waste expensive dark magic. Anyway, phantom guy gets ready to lure out some enemy mages. Back to this berserk guy. My plan is to get Gilliam—and only Gilliam—in range of the staff and have him slaughter everyone over there until it wears off. But first, fuck this guy. yay tethys And thus ends Turn 2. Nothing happened on enemy phase, so onto Turn 3, Gilliam moves in range of the berserk staff and everyone els moves way south. This is how much space I left between Gilliam and the rest over there. If you look closely, you can see some of Myrrh's sprite along the bottom row of pixels. I don't want to berserk my team to death again. Out goes phantom guy, and everyone else lines up by the staircase. oh no he's ded But why does this shit only ever activate when he wasn't going to take damage, anyway? After carefully measuring Gilliam's movement and attack range, I start moving my team ahead accordingly. Phantom dude has been summoned. I can attack the enemy mage for a good amount of damage… …but I figure he's more valuable as bait. yaaaay Eirika takes this guy out. Phantom buddy is summoned and the rest of the party lines up behind him. noooooo One beautiful thing about these games is that every last combat experience results in a gain of 1 EXP. Gilliam gained this five-stat level up by taking a hit and doing nothing. Reinforcements. Six cavs, one great knight, and a thief inside. Gilliam can't quite get this kill. Not like it matters, though. He'll get 'em eventually. I send Seth and Amelia down to deal with some of the reinforcements. I'm trying my best not to use Ephraim, as he's already Lv 20, but I didn't have much of a choice this time around. Natasha did some decent damage, though. These guys go down easily and Tana hits S-rank in lances. Danny Phantom enters the battlefield. I decide to let him soften up these fighters. Yeah! Action shots! goddammit More action shots! At this point, I'm convinced that, if that monk has any plans of using that berserk staff, it won't happen until the door is open. I send Rennac to get ready next to Gilliam. Gilliam's one step closer to wielding Garm. These guys do what I wanted them to do. yaaay These two take down the great knight together. I send Natasha up to prepare to deal with that thief, who's getting a bit too close to the chest room for my comfort. yeah… Sending out the phantom menace to lure out these knights. And I believe that's the end of the reinforcements. yay And they're in position. These guys didn't move, so the phantom menace approaches them head-on. Yeah, phantom! And we have Tana finish this job. Natasha is in position. Myrrh also moves down. She took a pretty bad hit before and may need some healing later. The thief moves into range, but it looks like Natasha won't be able to finish the job before the thief gets to the chest, so I have her do healing stuff. F-Ram takes him out with no problem, though. And here we go! Gilliam opens the door… …and Rennac goes in for the kill! I would've had him steal a staff, but the steal option wasn't available. The phantom menace continues to wreak havoc. Action shot! This guy has a Hero Crest. I can use that on Gerik if I ever need to. The phantom menace moves out to lure in the druids over there. Marisa positions herself to get ready for these guys. I'm also in their range now, so I get Knoll ready to go against them. Marisa deals with all of them beautifully. The warrior won't go down just yet, though. Phantom menace was taken out by Eclipse. Couldn't even lure out the— …And they come toward us, anyway. reinforcements yaaaaaay Yeah… I send Tana to deal with the rangers that showed up. Tana ain't scared of no archers. Eirika and Seth support convo. I didn't bother with it because it's the same one that appeared in Chapter 10E. "Hey, remember that stab wound you endured from Valter before the fucking prologue? How are you feeling from that?" I'm sure you all remember that one. And with that, we can put Eirika aside for the rest of the chapter. Knoll has his share of Druid slaughtering, as well. Hey, that actually worked out. In case you thought I was insane for sending Tana towards those rangers. Damn, it's been a while since I last let Seth get a level. Knoll is getting some solid levels this map. FUCK ALL OF YOUR SHIT. And that deals with the reinforcements. I start sending Tana back to the action. Yeah, Eirika took a good bit of damage from those Eclipse druids. So I send Knoll to do something about them, hoping that they use their stronger, more reliable tomes to try and take him out. But no, they don't. They just keep doing their Eclipse thing, even to Knoll, who's right goddamn there. Dat defense growth rate, doe A pretty shit level, but he hits S-rank in dark magic in the process. Also, that's the end of the Eclipse druids. This seems like it'd be more useful on Natasha. Eirika gets a much-needed (?) heal. Enter the phantom warrior. Yeah, don't want these monks screwing things up for us. And does this technically count as a seven-stat level? AND WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY TREASURE. And all that remains is Orson. But first… Spoiler Those are some oddly specific things you're noticing there, Tethys. Why do you observe her so closely? Also, Marisa's father was insane and she's okay with it. And off to the boss! But first… Free money! More free money! I think this boosts resistance. Now, it was never part of my strategy to have Ephraim or Seth take part in the boss fight, but I figured they may have some unique boss conversations, so I did some save-state stuff to show you these conversations. "Fuckin' poser." "Yeah, dat's why you sittin' on a throne that ain't yours, right? You da poser." And now, back to our regularly-scheduled program, featuring… …our one and only phantom warrior! …Welp. THAT'S OKAY I'LL JUST MAKE ANOTHER ONE. Phantom clone can't get to Orson in time (which is on me because I didn't think to move Knoll closer before summoning, but whatever), so I send Myrrh in. Looks like she can get a decent hit in without taking any damage in return. It'll leave room for others to gain experience, and— …or she can land a critical and OHKO Orson. Again with the pseudo-seven-stat-level. Does her defense even have a cap? Because I'll be disappointed when it caps and I stop seeing those +2s. Natasha and Tethys do some last-minute things before clearing the map. Onwards! "Be careful. Who knows how sticky it might be…" 'Rika and F-Ram come face-to-face with Orson's sex toy. All it can say is, "Darling." Must be a glitch. Or one of Orson's weird fetishes. "You're too young to see this, Eirika. You can come back when you're my age, in, like…ten minutes." And now, you feel bad because you can understand his plight. That's how that works, right? "'Rika, I fukked up." Guys, shut up so you can gaze upon your king. "Sorry to burst your bubble. These guys hate your guts." Character development! Back to these fucking bracelets. I mean, I can understand if you, like, placed them in an insert on the throne to reveal the path, but what's holding them above your head going to— EAT SHIT, YOU FUCKING— Wait, that's not a critical hit. Sorry, guys. And holding their bracelets ambiguously above their heads pushes the throne aside to reveal a hidden staircase. What if one of them had been an inch shorter? Would it have worked? "It has so much meaning…" "ALL OF THE MEANING." …Yeah, not much happened after that screenshot. What are they doing this time? …So, they were promotional items the whole time?! If only they did that back when Ephraim first hit Lv 20… Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit. …WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT HORSE COME FROM? WAS IT IN THE FUCKING BRACELET? Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit. EIRIKA, TOO. A WHOLE FUCKING HORSE. A FUNCTIONAL, LIVING, BREATHING HORSE. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY CONTAINED WHOLE FUCKING HORSES. F-Ram had some daddy issues. They probably fueled most of his rap career. Turns out his father was his biggest fan, which means we totally missed out on a bitchin' father-son track. "But…but I thought we were the Sacred Twins of Renais!" yay other yay Inspirational speech, starring the noble King F-Ram. We did not lose a single unit this chapter. All hail L'Arachel, Breaker of the Fourth Wall! L'Arachel also discovered numbers all the way up to five on her exploits and felt the need to share this great wisdom with Innes, who may have completely forgotten Rausten even existed. In his defense, though, so did I. Next time: We start heading towards Rausten, and I might promote Gerik. Screenshot count: 495 Total: 5,989 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 17: Your Friendly Neighborhood Demon King Spoiler Grindfest! And we're done! Not sure if any of you picked up on this, but you can withdraw from a skirmish at any point. I did what I needed to here and left. Which means it's time to promote Gerik! I actually spent some time thinking about this. Without Neimi, Innes is my only bow user, and I'm sure Gerik can make use of the extra mobility. Then, I came to my senses and decided not to have another archer on my team. Anyway, to the plot! The Sacred Stones are the only power against the dark, the last hope of humanity. It's only natural that evil would seek to destroy the Sacred Stones… There can be no other force behind this attempt to gain the stones. A childhood friend appears before Ephraim… Who could this childhood friend possibly be? Will we be introduced to a new character who knew Lyon and Ephraim as children? Could it be other distant royalty of Grado? Could it be— Nope! It's just Lyon. Shit, man. You didn't have to make that so cryptic. The water in the river consists entirely of tears and semen. How many flashbacks does this game even have?! "I suspect it responds to this dark, evil magic because the stone literally contains the Demon King." "I mean, would it be called dark magic if it couldn't perform kind-hearted miracles?" "I don't know why, though. I mean, it's not like anything bad ever happened from tampering with dark magic." "…he'll allow me to control the Demon King for good!" "Come on, Lyon. We're the protagonists. Do you really think we'd advise you to—" …Okay, I think we just found out who the real villains of this story are. "DARK MAGIC IS THE FUTURE!" Foreshadowing! "Fuck da police!" Aaaaaand friendship! "Why, yes! In fact, there are a lot of things I can tell you about, like Ephraim's rap career and Innes' spiky black hair, but I digress." Good thinking, Innes! How are they doing? Oh… And who might this be? "You mean the villain's a threat in the late game, even though we completed our lesser objective? What gives?!" If I had the patience, I'd recolor this guy to look like Mr. T. We'll see about that. No, Ephraim, this is not a skirmish. This is a full-on chapter. Innes knows her. I suppose that's to be expected, though, as she's in the Frelian army. Y'know, L'Arachel's language seemed infuriating when I first met her, but now that I'm aware of Bastian in FE9, this doesn't seem so bad. "Shut your mouth, woman. Let the men do the talking. Gender roles!" "…Wait. Let me think about it." "Ah, right, that thing." "I can repeat it as many times as you wish. I killed your father. I killed your father. I killed your—" "They don't call me Prince Lyin' for nothing, y'know." wut "But they do call me Prince Lion for nothing." "Aha, we don't call you Prince Lion for nothing." …Oh, no. It's worse than I thought. THE OMNIPOTENT, ALL-POWERFUL FLOATING TEXT BOX. OBSERVE HOW THE TEXT BOX POINTS TO NO ONE. WE'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THIS WAR, GUYS. Let's see if F-Ram is better at spitting out comebacks than Seth. Damn straight, F-Ram. To battle! My team. The map. Turns out these yellow tiles are water. The fuck is going on with Rausten's water supply? We enlist the aid of a phantom lumberjack to chop down the snag. I send half my team up that way… …Tana up to this island… …and the rest over the bridge. Action shots! Tana talks to Syrene for recruitment purposes. "I'M RIDING A DRAGON. I think I can handle myself." Damn straight. These guys started moving during the enemy phase. Turns out Heroes have limited movement on water. Syrene's stats and stuff. Falcoknights in this game are capable of wielding swords and lances. no not the phantom Let's summon another one! no not the other phantom For the record, this guy is the only reason why I have Rennac in my party. I figure that Dragonshield can be useful. I clear out this path for Rennac to advance. I keep him just out of the berserker's movement range to see if I can get him next turn. Syrene does a thing. I'm hoping she'd be useful, since Tana is my only flier now. Dammit, Rennac. One of the enemy mage dealt with that snag, which means I can start advancing in that direction. BENCHED. Reinforcements. These guys are crossing the river. We'll get back to them in a moment. Tana lends some aid over here. Not quite enough to get to the berserker. I clear the path with Seth and Ephraim to get Rennac in as close as possible. I decide against attacking, as he won't be able to get the kill and I want to keep the HP loss risk to a minimum. Free money! Or should I hold on to it in case I need Moulder? let's have the phantom weaken this enemy mage oh no let's have a phantom weaken this enemy mage: devil axe edition oh no I place Saleh here to prepare for the enemy sage. Gilliam equips Swordslayer to prepare for the river-crossing heroes. Eirika and Amelia head south to deal with the other river-crossing heroes. And Syrene doesn't do anything anymore. HAH. So, the berserker decided to go against Ephraim because weapon triangle things, probably, even though he probably would've had an easier target in Rennac. Regardless, the Dragonshield is gone. And Rennac isn't doing too well, either. Fimbulvetr looks cool. And now, it's mine. Aaaand there goes my other thief. Looks like I'll be on the lookout for keys and Unlock staves for the rest of the game, and no more stealing. reinforcements yaaaay Regardless, Seth takes out this guy. And Tana seeks revenge! R.I.P. Rennac, Chapter 14F—Chapter 17 Ephraim's first promoted level, and it kinda sucks. Summoners are so much fun. Maybe, Lyon was on to something with that whole dark-magic-for-the-greater-good thing. Gilliam gets a pretty good level and an axe that he can't use yet. Key word: yet. Still better than Joshua. Action shots! STOP GAINING EXPERIENCE. One of the Druids made the mistake of falling into Marisa's attack range. The other one made the mistake of sucking. I love it when this happens. From here on out, Tana is on wyvern duty. And that's the last of the piss river heroes. Saleh's first level-up of the run! Strength and defense are always good, I guess. Starting to move my units east, now that the bulk of the enemies there are gone. And that's it for those druids. Phantom Jesus rushes over the water to Tana's aid. Starting to move units toward the boss, as well. Action shots! Two more cavs, three more druids. Tana readies herself for the cavs. And these guys take out the druids while making sure to stay out of Lyon's range. And we continue to advance in the general direction of the boss. Except Syrene. She's not allowed to do anything. Action shot! Berserkers show up to the south. Marisa should handle them just fine. Yeah, Phantom Jesus! Also, more wyverns. Fuck those guys. no not phantom jesus Two more cavs, two more berserkers, three more druids Fuck this guy. I take down the druids in a similar fashion to before. Marisa is handling her berserker duties just fine. SILENCER. wyverns, berserkers they do things great knight, paladin, berserkers more things are done yay I notice Tana's low health and check to see if I can get Natasha close enough to use Physic. I can't, though, so I have her sit around and try to take on some wyverns. tana needs phantom support GODDAMMIT, MARISA. You should teach Marisa a thing or two about leveling up! Not quite good enough to get any kills, unfortunately. berserkers, wyverns Not liking Natasha's health after that, so I send her back. Tana only has one javelin use left, and it's not strong enough to get either kill, so I'll wait. At this point, I get fed up with all these goddamn reinforcements and decide to end the chapter. Here's Lyon, under the influence of the Omnipotent, All-Powerful Floating Text Box. He uses dark magic. First up, F-Ram. unique boss conversation yaaaaaaay Well, that looks pretty cool. Ephraim gets his health down to here. generic boss conversation yaaaaaay Saleh takes quite a bit of damage. other unique boss convo yaaaaaaay I'm guessing that line shows whenever using a Sacred Twin weapon. i did it we beat him game's over Upon defeat, the Omnipotent, All-Powerful Floating Text Box teleports over here, says a thing… …then limps away slowly as our lords approach him. wut "But…but we just defeated you now!" And he warps away. You mean the ones who were just fucking slaughtered? I don't believe you. Frelia's Sacred Twins. I wonder who's going to get them… YOU DON'T OWE SYRENE SHIT. …Well, at least she admits to her faults. Next time: We continue on the road to Rausten, I guess. Screenshot count: 385 Total: 6,374 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 18: Prince Lyin' Spoiler No grindfest this time. Today, we go directly to the plot! Innes has ordered Frelian troops to aid in the hunt. The troops return with news that Lyon has moved north. The scorching heat and sulfer stench render the area unfit for human habitation… Endless numbers of gorgon eggs stud the forbidding landscape. But more on those eggs in a moment. First, plot stuff! Is there some sort of competition being held for best Bootleg Leif impression? Because everyone seems to be hopping aboard that trend. "And you've been beyond the fourth wall. I need all the info I can get." "Unless he had, like, a really strong will that can resist the influence of a—I MEAN NOPE. NOTHING AT ALL TO BE DONE." "Phew, almost gave away some spoilers there." "Damn straight, I can do dis. No one messes with F-Ram and his crew." And so, we enter the map. Let's see what this generic green soldier has to say! …Cool. "Ugh, yeah, there it is. Did Ewan shit his diaper again?" Word of advice: do not under any circumstances steer clear of those eggs. My party. The map. Let's talk about these eggs now. Each one of them starts off gray in color and with 5HP. Killing them grants a fixed 50EXP, so many level-ups will be had by killing them. phantom bait yaaaay And that's my turn. This gorgon has some siege magic. Good thing I sent out the phantom. And then, it takes 10HP worth of damage. At first, I'm baffled at why. Here the siege magic. It's called Shadowshot. FUCK YOUR SHIT, GARGOYLE. After killing her second egg, Tana gets a solid level-up. phantom bait Hey look, this one capped Def and Res! End of Turn 2. oh no not the phantom After a certain point (I don't know whether it's crossing a certain tile or after a certain turn, and it's different for every egg), the egg turns white and starts recovering 5HP each turn. The egg will hatch when it maxes out its health. Maturing eggs don't have any greater EXP yield than dormant eggs, but it's still better to kill them before they hatch. Y'know what I never understood? A longbow has up to 3 range and siege tomes have minimum 3 range. Why can't a siege tome counterattack a longbow at 3 range? Strategy! Action shot! Some of the gorgons don't attack, but they have this stone thing. Let's see what it does! We may never know. At this point, I realize that we're on a volcano map and the red tiles deal 10HP damage at the end of each turn. Assray kills the stoner. Natasha, Innes, and Tana kill some fetuses. And strategy happens. I caught this pretty sweet lookin' dodge shot. More eggs are starting to mature. Phantom and Amelia move on ahead. I realize that Amelia is on a lava tile, but her health is strong, so I'm not worried. Assray kills a fetus, gains a pretty good level, and hits S-rank in light magic. Natasha kills a fetus and gets a mediocre level. Strategy! … Still better than Joshua. And that's my turn. Lost count after turn 2, but yeah… Oh look, another stoner. That strategy thing I did worked! Yeah, phantom! And the stage starts dishing out some damage. All of these eggs are well on their way to maturity. These ones aren't, though. no not the phantom Strategy…? Gilliam got stoned. He'll be too high to move for the next five turns. I also forgot to bring restore staves, so yeah… And down goes the stoner! That was also the boss. I forgot to capture its stats. Whatever. Guys, I don't think I have enough healers. I should start bringing Moulder along again. And that's that turn. This egg hatches and kills the phantom. Balls. Action shots! And Ephraim gets damaged from standing on the lava tiles. Damn, that Demon Surge looks cool. Did a good amount of damage, too. Bitch ain't shit, though. That hatched gorgon gave Amelia 40EXP, which isn't bad, but that's 10EXP lost forever. I think this is the first time I actually got to use Physic in this game. Both of these eggs have started maturing. And everyone moves ahead. It's at this point I realize that some of those red tiles are just ordinary ground and it's only the cracked ones that deal damage. Anyway, fuck this guy. I consider having a phantom take out an egg before it hatches… …but that's stupid. They're both at least two turns from hatching and I don't want to waste 50EXP on a goddamn phantom. Amelia takes out this guy. Ephraim kills this fetus, gets a decent level, and hits S-rank in lances. And that's the map! A bit of an anti-climactic end, but whatever. To the plot! Enter totally-still-a-good-thing Lyon. The fuck, game? Exit totally-still-a-good-thing Lyon. Enter possessed-by-the-floating-text-box Lyon. "Hit it, Seth!" 'Cuz I can't allow thou To ruffle up his brow as you plow through my town 'Cuz I'll hunt you and track you until you learn Not to mess with my crew, and oh, how I yearn To destroy you and kill you and watch you burn "Your rhymes mean nothing to me." "JUST…JUST STOP IT RIGHT NOW! …My rhymes are fuckin' sick." He was really on a roll with creatin' some dank memes! …I'm sorry. Ephraim moves forward one tile and gets caught in this glowing magic thing. You can see it if you look hard enough. Not quite Lesbindis-level mind control, but close enough. He warps forward one fucking tile. That lazy fuck. SURPRISE BUTTSECKS. And there's the money shot! …Oh, right. That. That's what that was. The shattering of the Sacred Stone. "Now comes the buttsecks. I'll let you ready yourself this time." "My butthole is clean, I swear!" Character development! … Time to play the Prince Lyin' Drinking Game! Take a drink every time he changes the established canon. Demon King bonus challenge: double-shots only. He's not the Demon King. Drinks: 1 "That thing where I travelled all of Magvel, destroying the Sacred Stones? 'Twas but a jest!" Soul is still intact. Drinks: 2 Establishes a part of the canon in one panel, changes it in the same fucking panel. Yes, I know it's supposed to be poetic, but it counts. Drinks: 3 Character development! The all-powerful Demon King, who had to be sealed by the most powerful gemstones in the world, can be halted simply by yelling, "I will not be devoured!" and believing, like, really really hard. Drinks: 4 Cool. This doesn't change anything. Let's see how long Lyon can keep this up. I agree, Ephraim. That smell from before probably wasn't Ewan, but all the bullshit ahead of you. The Demon King isn't even real. He was just acting. Drinks: 5 HE'S TOTALLY THE FUCKING DEMON KING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, LYON? Drinks: 6 Ephraim is rightfully skeptical and confused about all the bullshit that just flowed from Lyon's mouth. Lyon is rightfully alarmed at Ephraim's rage and takes a step back. Okay, so now, he's not the Demon King yet. Drinks: 7 Lyon warps away and the rest of the party joins us. The high dosage of bullshit throws Ephraim into a state of permanent blink. Let's assess the damage here… Oh, no. He's gone full Duessel! "Seriously, you've gone full Duessel! What's up?" …yeah. Next time: We arrive in Rausten! Screenshot count: 268 Total: 6,642 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 19: Rausten's Famous All-You-Can-Eat Shit Buffet! Spoiler Previously, on The Adventures of F-Ram… And now, back to our regularly-scheduled program: I figure it's a castle and there will be things to unlock, but Colm and Rennac are dead so I'm going back for some unlock staves, but I have to deal with these guys first. Spoiler Tethys becomes my first unit to hit the level cap. I give the unlock staves to these two guys. To the plot! Constant strife with dark creatures has made the group's progress near impossible. It is here that the final Sacred Stone is sealed away. L'Arachel rides cheerfully toward her homeland with the company in tow. Title screen. "I feel alive again!" And now, we get to meet her family. Say hello to Uncle Mansel. Shut up, L'Arachel. You're almost as bad as Bastian. DON'T ENCOURAGE HER. Y'know, in case you didn't know all the details about the continent-wide war that was happening. "Step aside, 'Rika. I got this. Hit it, Seth!" Yeah, no rush. It's not like I'm updating all that frequently anymore. What's with those eyes, L'Arachel? Checkin' out your uncle or what? You'll have to go to aisle FE7 for incest. Ah, okay. Carry on. F-Ram, still experiencing his permanent blink from the end of last chapter, despite appearing perfectly fine in the last scene. "Did you not hear my rap to Pontifex Mansel? I'm on fucking point, Tana!" Character development! Tana counters F-Ram's permanent blink with a blink of her own! Will it work? …It does! Yeah, Tana! …Oh, no. What if the damage was too much?! yay friendship Cut to this guy! Let's hope he doesn't do anything stupid. Must be an apprentice of the floating text box. Still has an arrow, so we know it's not real. Damn, this guy's good. Text box floatin' all up in this bitch. "No, of course not! My lance can penetrate anything!" So far, so good! Now, calmly retreat and inform your superiors of— …Or prematurely give an order to attack and die. Because of course, the green soldier does something stupid. Looks like we get to fight this guy now. This guy knows what's up. He retreated and told his superiors, and look at how dead he isn't! Ugh, not the Knights of Rausten. Must be a survival map. I've grown to dislike survival maps. Seth, briefly considering not deploying Ephraim. Eirika, you need to talk Seth back to his— GODDAMMIT, EIRIKA. F-Ram ain't takin' any of that shit. Up until this point, no map has allowed me more than twelve units. This map allows me 17, which just so happens to be the exact number of units I currently have in my army! No, Moulder doesn't count. Why would you ever think that? The map. It's a castle under fog of war. Ideally, I'd have Colm on one side and Rennac on the other to get chests and increase visibility, but they're both dead, so yeah… Looks like Marisa gets boosted fog visibility as an Assassin, though, so we've got that. Looks like Riev and Mansel have a history. I'd excommunicate you, too, Riev, and if this is how you'd react, I'd have no regrets. Character development! Survival map. I have to survive for 13 turns. That's a lot of turns, so I'mma try to finish this map quickly. I start moving these guys out of this room, though I leave Ewan behind to deal with any reinforcements from the staircase. Let there be light! First action shot of the map! Let there be more light! I send a phantom to clear some of the fog. Syrene reveals that guy up there. Not like it'll do any good. Send these guys into position and— oh no an archer what ever will i do Eat shit, archers. More positioning, and that ends my turn. Knight out of nowhere! ded Another knight out of nowhere! WELCOME TO THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SHIT BUFFET. TODAY'S SPECIAL: SHIT. oh no not the phantom More action shots! And not a single fuck was given that moment. no not the green knight …yeah. AND HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR SHIT COOKED? Secret shop! There was also a secret shop in both Chapter 14's, but I completely did not think to look for them. Let's see what this shop has. LOOK AT ALL THESE PROMOTION ITEMS. I WONDER WHO I SHOULD USE THEM ON. I buy a barrier and a physic and go about my day. More action shots. AMELIA WILL BE YOUR WAITRESS. SHE'LL BE SERVING YOUR SHIT TODAY. Natasha, I picked you over Moulder because of your fantastic early-game level-ups. Don't start letting me down now. This happens. Sending out a phantom scout reveals these guys. Moving Innes to that spot reveals two berserkers, at least one of which has a hand axe. I move Tana away from there to draw those with range to Innes, not because I'm afraid she'll die, but because she doesn't have any ranged weapons equipped. no not the phantom Action shots! More enemies emerge from the shadows. no not the green knight NO. BAD GREEN KNIGHT. BAD. EAT IT. EAT ALL OF THE SHIT. LET NO SHIT GO TO WASTE. I start to move Eirika back to the party, as nothing is going on here. Enemies revealed. And here's the boss. Let's look at his stats before I forget. Riev. He has a light tome. He's leading an army of dark creatures to serve his dark lord and plunge the world in darkness…and he has a light tome. What the fuck, Riev? All right. Seems easy en— GODDAMMIT, GERIK. You see that, Gerik? You could've had a Brave Sword, but you fucked up, so Marisa gets it. Knoll takes out this guy so Amelia can start heading south to those enemies to the southeast. Not bad, Amelia. YES, I'M THE MANAGER. WAS THERE A PROBLEM WITH THE SHIT THAT YOU ORDERED? Yeah, Tana! Reinforcements. I have Saleh on top of the chest, but the only staff he can use is the torch staff. Turns out unlock staves only work on doors. Looks like chests are off-limits for the rest of the game… Balls. Action shot! Because fuck this shit. Tana is running low on health here… …so I did a thing. Innes moves over here to clear some fog and reveals no one. I didn't upload the screenshot where Amelia got a brave lance, but yeah… Dat x4, doe. Action shot! This guy poses a bit of a problem. No kill, but Marisa has reached S-rank in swords. WE PUT SO MUCH EFFORT IN SERVING TOP QUALITY SHIT. DON'T YOU DARE STIFF US AGAIN. Send out the phantom as bait this time. no not the phantom TIP YOUR FUCKING WAITERS, PLEASE. Innes hits S-rank in bows. Yay? I move Tana here to clear some fog. Didn't upload the next screenshot showing what she revealed, though. I really dropped the ball uploading screenshots this time. …Yay, strength? Other assorted action shots. THIS SHIT COMES DIRECTLY FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL. wut Hey look, it's Syrene. Maybe, she'll see some action. Spoiler: She doesn't see any action. OUR SHIT IS 100% GLUTEN-FREE. I'll take it. JUST KIDDING. SHIT'S LOADED WITH GLUTEN. WE DON'T DO ANY OF THAT VEGAN SHIT, EITHER. YOU EAT THE SHIT WE SERVE YOU. These guys. They were what Tana revealed. WHAT THE FUCK, SETH? Thank you, Tana. assray pls THIS SHIT CAME OUT A LITTLE TOO WELL-DONE. OH, WELL. EAT IT, ANYWAY. And so, I approach Riev. He might have a unique quote with L'Arachel, but yeah… So, here's what Aura looks like. Slowly chipping away at Riev… This guy decides to show up. Not like he'll be doing anything, but yeah… Fuck that guy. And fuck your weapon triangle shit, too. Ugh, I hate when they do that. Anyway, to the plot! It certainly does. …So, when do they do it? Stop it. Good advice, Eirika! Let's— What are you so worried about? It's not like she's going to die. She already did that. yay friendship Sacred Twins, yeah, let's make this quick. Cool. Glad we got that out of the way. No guarantees. "This place is dangerous, and grows more evil by the second. We need to go in and stop them. But first, let's go shopping!" Next time: Into the woods we go… Screenshot count: 315 Total: 6,957 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 20: The Return of Some Old Friends Spoiler CENTAUR SKIRMISH. Spoiler I would've just went straight to the chapter, but I couldn't resist. The 500-image limit strikes again, so I have to resort to simply linking to the imgur album here. Inside is a total of 32 level-ups, six boosts in weapon rank (two of which result in S-ranks), and a support conversation between Eirika and Ephraim that reeks a bit too much of twincest. There weren't even that many centaurs. I think there were, like, two on the whole map. To the plot! Four of the five stones have been destroyed, leaving only the last stone intact. The last stone must be protected to stave off the Demon King's restoration. According to legend, the original possessors of the Sacred Stones defeated the Demon King in Darkling Woods. His foul blood seeped into the land, corrupting every seed and every root. The once-pristine forest was transformed by the flood of disease and venom. Legend says the Demon King's corpse lies there still, not dead but dreaming. Dreaming of when the last stone is crushed, and he will rise from his bed of rocks and worms and return to the surface. as if answering some unheard call. SO MUCH PLOT STUFF. Lyon, that's not how Demon King power works. Lyon, this is your chance to convince this guy that you totally got this. Show him who's boss! …Dammit, Lyon. Ah, the vision. Perhaps, this guy can explain how sheer willpower can keep Lyon from becoming the Demon King? Surprise! It can't! Sure about that? This guy's making way more sense than you are, Lyon. And this is the point where Lyon realizes that he's been had for the entire duration of the game, right? …Right?! Hi, Morva. Wait…you can just do that? All this time I've been traveling the continent, fighting armies to gather the Sacred Stones, and you can just…do that? Why didn't you just do that from the start?! Anyway, here we are in Darkling Woods. Thank you, Seth… I'm guessing that Morva dude is your father? No, it's more like a vacation house. Our actual home is, like, ten times worse than this. Character development! I'm enjoying learning a bit about Myrrh's background. What else can we learn about— …Welp. Cut to here. We can see Lyon in the center and Riev to the left of the temple. And this guy. To battle! I was taken aback by the seventeen units I was allowed last chapter, but this chapter allows us to take eighteen. You know what that means… We're taking Moulder! And the map. Objective is to seize the throne, occupied by the draco zombie. And shit, there are way more centaurs on this map than there were in the goddamn centaur skirmish. Syrene and Tana head west over the mountains and start the action. I send Gilliam north to take on those enemies, but seeing how he can't get in range, I decide to crowd everyone up north, just outside of that guy's movement. Knoll gets a level from summoning a phantom, who I send over the thicket as bait. No, no, that's all wrong, Riev. You'll have to go to Tellius for radiant power. Again, they scorned you for good reason. You probably should've seen it coming. Time to find out what the big deal about these guys is. Keep telling yourself that. You'll notice in the action shot on the right a little extra flare in the strike. That's because Pierce activated. …yeah. Yeah, phantom! I'll have to trade that to a party member once— …or not. Yeah, Tana! Reinforcements. Two cyclopses and three gargoyles. Action shots! Observing the centaur's movement range and putting a sword-wielder in it. …Yeah, nothin' else to really do up here. Tana and Syrene do things and that ends my turn. Action shots! DUDE, THESE GODDAMN CENTAURS ARE PURPLE. YOU THOUGHT NS2 PLAYS FE IS DEAD? TELL THAT TO THE PURPLE GODDAMN CENTAURS ACTIVELY DYING RIGHT NOW. More action shots! Ugh, we have some stoners on this map. Good thing they suck! reinforcements yaaaaaay Gilliam takes out the stoner, as he knows what it's like to be stoned. Syrene gets a level-up. At least it was better than her first one. Move some people around and end my turn. Syrene doesn't get the kill on either of these guys. Yeah, phantom! Yeah, Marisa! no not the phantom GILLIAM GETTING A BEAUTIFUL CUT OF MEAT BY THROWING A GIANT AXE ON A CHAIN AT A PURPLE GODDAMN CENTAUR. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. reinforcements yaaaaaaaay Got a bit worried about Syrene's health, so I brought her into Natasha's physic range. Cyclopses aren't nearly as interesting as centaurs, but they're much harder to take down. INVISIBLE GODDAMN CENTAUR. LOOKING FORWARD TO FE FATES? I HOPE YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY FIVE DIFFERENT GAMES, NONE OF WHICH ALLOW YOU TO FIGHT A GODDAMN CENTAUR. Can't quite get the phantom in range of the eye, unfortutantely. I have Tana take out one of these guys. Yeah, Moulder! Neither of these resulted in kills, but Seth got a pretty good level out of it. This one resulted in a kill, though. Yeah, phantom! Yeah, phantom! Shit, can I recruit this guy permanently? …Guess not. Reinforcements. Three eyes will spawn from the temple every few turns now. Eh, at least I'll get a scratch on him. Even with the critical, it won't be enough to— SILENCER. This north team pretty much just hacks away at the cyclopses now that the first wave of PURPLE GODDAMN CENTAURS has been dealt with. My logic here is not to reduce their numbers, but get them all to low HP so they'll die on the enemy phase. THIS WORKS, TOO. FUCK YE— …Welp. FUCK YEAH, SETH. I believe this one resulted in a kill, but I just didn't wait long enough to grab it at 0HP. Of course, if any of my units can't get far enough to do damage to any enemies with full health, I'll just kill the ones I can get to. I start realizing a need for more units down south, so I send some more units down south. Action shots! Phantom bait! And that ends my turn. I remember once when I found Halberd to be mildly threatening. I think that was, like, Chapter 6. no not the phantom One last action shot. Reinforcements this time include a wave of gargoyles from the northwest. Anyway, fuck this guy. Ugh, Ewan, this is why I never liked you. Three battles, three levels. I like it. Yeah, phantom! …yeah. I make sure to put hand axe Amelia in range of this archer to lure it out. And everyone else starts to move up, too. Starting to tread on dangerous territory, though the only apparent threats are the eyes, so I don't feel too threatened. Yeah, Moul— …Still better than Joshua…? She can actually use this, too. OH FUCK RIEV MOVES. WE MUST HONOR THIS PHANTOM'S NOBLE SACRIFICE. THANK YOU, PHANTOM, FOR ENSURING THE SAFETY OF MY TWO FLIERS. It worked! Action shots! Moving these two out of Riev's range. Gotta be careful here now. hah Phantom does a thing. Yeah, that pretty much ends my turn here. Action shots! reinforcements yaaaaaaay Moving Innes strategically into these mountains, longbow equipped. Phantom does a thing. Action shots! And that ends my turn. Didn't quite think of those other enemies that could have potentially scratched Innes, but nothing came of those, so yeah… Dem enemy projection stats, doe. DID YOU LIKE FIGHTING DRACO ZOMBIES IN GAIDEN? WELL, WE HAVE DRACO ZOMBIES, TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT GAIDEN DOESN'T HAVE? PURPLE GODDAMN CENTAURS. Also, Seth's derp horse in the third image. no not the phantom It worked! EAT SHIT, STONER. Yes, I countered that from 3 range, thus marking the first time (and possibly last) that a longbow has ever been useful on defense. more eyes yaaaaaay Action shots! I went to check something else entirely when I suddenly notice this guy. He has a shadowshot. He hasn't struck yet, so I assume we're good for now. Enemies with siege tomes tend to not move. This is what I wanted to check, by the way. yay teamwork IS ROY YOUR BOY? I'M SORRY, I PREFER MY LORDS USEFUL. LET'S SEE ROY SLAY A PURPLE GODDAMN CENTAUR. I move some of my units just outside the cyclops' range, but just inside the range of the nearest units. Both of them suicide into Ephraim's lance. phantom does a thing and then dies yeah… reinforcements yaaaaay I send Amelia to do something about them. Riev's movement range becomes relevant again as I decide what to do with Tana. Marisa does a thing and I set Gerik up to lure out one more unit by the cyclops. Takin' out some eyes and summoning phantoms. no not the phantom Fun fact: only one phantom can be in play at any given time, but if it dies, you're free to refresh the summoner and summon another one. Still better than Joshua. Yeah, other phantom! Gilliam can't cross mountains… Welp. And that ends my turn. Yeah, Tana! Dammit, Tana! YEAH, TANA! Yeah, Amelia! Dammit, Amelia! …Nothing else, Amelia? Well, fuck you, too. Riev moves away from the action to attack the phantom. …Strategy! Hah. DAMMIT, AMELIA. I send Gerik to help out with the gargoyle problem. It's sometimes hard to tell the thicket from trees, and Amelia just lost her only range, so she can't really do anything else there. Riev's new movement range to keep in mind. Luckily, I don't need to put myself in any danger to take out the rest of these enemies. Warp staff shenanigans allow me to get Gilliam over the mountains and right into the action! Not liking that level-up, though. …Still better than Joshua. I start sending the rest of my south team over the mountains. EAT SHIT, SHADOWSHOT. And that's my turn. FUCK YOUR REVERSE WEAPON TRIANGLE SHIT. Nothing else really happens on enemy phase. reinforcements yaaaaaay Teamwork! Gerik still has his hand axe, so he can attack these guys from range. As can Ewan. Saleh is going to lead the charge for this one, as he has a weapon triangle advantage. Fuck this guy. And that's my turn. Dem zeroes, doe. no not the phantom I take out the remaining eyes. All that remain are the two bosses. Moulder does a thing. Knoll does a phantom thing. I place Saleh into position. And phantom chills in the purple lake. Action shots! Just to see what this matchup would be like. Looks like I'm staying away from this for the time being. no not the phantom AURA VS AURA. SO MUCH AURA. And Myrrh gets the kill shot! Death quote and level. All that remains is the draco zombie. Let's take a look! And he has a name. It's Morva. …Wait, wasn't that the name of that dude at the beginning? …Welp. After some trial and error, I determine that anyone who gets in Morva's attack range will die instantly, so I have Innes snipe from thre range. Eh, it was worth a shot. Fort healing and reinforcements. Eyes go down easily. Back to the matter at hand. GODDAMMIT, INNES. This matchup is looking a bit more favorable to me now. Myrrh has a unique quote with Morva. This screenshot is here just because it looks cool. And that's that. Yeah, Moulder! The gate to seize was just out of Ephraim's range, so I had to take an extra turn. These GODDAMN CENTAURS just had to spawn right as I'm about to seize. Marisa takes out one… …and the other, and earns just enough EXP for a— NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. STOP THIS RIGHT GODDAMN NOW. FUCKING CENTAURS. THEY WERE THERE FOR JOSHUA'S ZERO-STAT LEVEL, TOO. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT LEVEL ZERO-STAT JOSHUA WAS AT? LEVEL 14. FUCKING JOSHUA. FUCKING CENTAURS. FUCK. FUCK THIS SHIT. Let's actually not waste time this time. And here, we have a touching, emotional moment between Ephraim and Myrrh as Myrrh comes to terms with killing her father figure. Of course, at this point, my thumb decides to slip and press B, skipping the rest of the cutscene, and I didn't save after completing the chapter, so there was no way to recover the scene that I skipped. So instead, you'll get a text dump of the rest of the scene: Myrrh: I can't… This is nothing… Ephraim: Myrrh… Myrrh: Ephraim… Ephraim: I'm so sorry. You kept silent this whole time so as not to trouble us. Myrrh: … E-everything's fine, Ephraim… I'm fine. See? I'm ready to…to… Ephraim: Myrrh. Let yourself cry. These are dark times. There's no reason to hide your sorrow. Myrrh: Ephraim… I, I… …Aaah… Sniff… Father… Father… And my commentary: "I'm 1200 and what is this?" Obligatory flashback, because we couldn't have proper FE8 plot stuff without some flashbacks, right? Oh, hey. It's stuff we already know happened! Okay, what's the purpose of this? So here is where we witness the exact moment Lyon stopped being a good thing. "Harness the power of the Demon King with great amounts of dark magic…in an effort to save the people! That's how dark magic works, right?" …yeah. Next time: The final chapter. Screenshot count: 556 Total: 7,513 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 21, Part 1: Hey guys, I might actually finish this. Spoiler Hey, remember when this was going to be a Game of Thrones parody? Because what would this game even be without flashbacks? Didn't feel like going through this to cut it short, so here's this one cutscene in its entirety where we learn absolutely nothing! Yes, you have. You saw him a year and a half ago. We just established that in the flashback. Damn, F-Ram. Pay attention. Desired what? Surprise buttsex? "And I was desperately hoping we'd be more." To battle! But first, I have a thing to use. After the last two chapters, both of which teased me with massive parties, we're back down to twelve here, and this is actually the only chapter where both Eirika and Ephraim are required. As has become customary here, let's look at our final party's stats! Spoiler First, our fearless leader, Prince F-Ram. His skill and speed are maxed at Lv. 10, and his holy weapon Siegmund grants +5 Strength when in use. And his twin sister Eirika. Despite being three levels behind, she's keeping up with Ephraim in every area except HP and Strength. Her holy weapon Sieglinde also grants +5 Strength. I was never able to get Gilliam to S-rank in axes. That said, I'm glad I got him to the point I did. He has a Def stat of 29 and still has a bit left to go. Saleh, seen here doing well in all his weapon ranks, though he's a prepromote, so that's to be expected. His stats are well-rounded, though he has yet to break 20 in any stat, which is the major downside of prepromotes. Assray's kickin' ass here. Natasha. Can't think of much to say here, except her holy weapon doesn't grant any stat gains because it's a staff. I've decided to use Knoll as my dark mage, as the Summon skill has proven to be invaluable. I've also given him Eclipse, just in case. Innes, because Nidhogg. No other reason. Tana, my flier. So glad I got to choose the route where I get to have a flier. Not doing all that well in strength, but look at that speed stat. Grandpa Seth. Like Saleh and Innes, he has yet to break 20 in any stat, though he's proven invaluable throughout the game and remains viable in the final chapter, despite being a prepromote from the prologue. Zero-Stat Marisa. I suppose I can give her the benefit of the doubt, as she's maxed out her speed stat, but I won't. And finally, Mrrrrrrrrrrr. I've been preserving that dragonstone, though I kinda regret not using her more because she has so much more potential. And that's my main party. Here are the rest, for those who are curious. Spoiler Not showing the weapons screen, as I've stripped them all of their weapons. Amelia. I only started training her after the loss of all of my not-Seth mounted units. She did well, given her shitty growths. Benched because I still have Seth. Ewan. Again, only started putting effort into him thanks to the loss of an ally, namely Lute. Benched because Knoll has proven to be more useful. Gerik. Never had any intention of using him in the main party, but I put effort into him because that's a thing you can do in this game. Tethys. Benched because she can't do shit for me right now. Syrene, the late-game prepromote. If Vanessa hadn't died, I could've shown off the Triangle Attack, but Vanessa died in Chapter 4, so yeah… Benched because I have a Tana. And finally, Moulder, the only promotable-but-unpromoted unit still on my team. And the map. You may notice that it resembles a skull. I'm only just seeing this now, though, because I never really had a chance to look at the full map in-game. I notice there are some chests on this map and that I have a door key and chest key in my inventory from many chapters ago, so I give them to Myrrh, who is the only one with space in her inventory. And so, it begins! …I mean, there's no action yet. There aren't any enemies in range, so yeah… Myrrh makes her way toward that chest. Innes will be in charge of luring this gorgon out as soon as he can get in range, which he can't quite yet. Strategy! I can totally use Eclipse right now to try to attack some enemies. But I'm not going to waste it right now. I summon a phantom and position it to end my turn. Oh shit, other keys! I can possibly get to both chests! Fuck yeah, phantom! oh no the phantom got stoned I can definitely get to both chests! Ugh, where were these guys in Rausten? The shit, Assray? Yeah, Eirika! And we'll be clear to get that chest in a turn or two. I'll take it! Meanwhile, on this side of the map, Gilliam finds yet another key, which means I don't have to bring Saleh to this side of the map just to unlock the chest! Innes gets into that position I mentioned before. Other assorted strategy things! I don't know if these dracozombies can move, but I don't want to risk it just yet. And that ends my turn. 34 hit rate. The shit, Innes? no not the phantom Completely forgot I had Ivaldi equipped. Otherwise, I would've captured more of the animation. Sorry, guys. Tana action shots! Strategy! Reinforcements. Seth does a thing and gets a kinda shit level. Gilliam opens the door and Ephraim gets ready to loot the chest. Pretty sure that was a critical hit and I didn't get the animation, or something. This guy is in Knoll's range, but I don't like the hit rate, so I pass on this for now. Myrrh falls just short of the chest. Still staying out of range of this dracozombie. Pierce! Damn, phantom. Keep this guy out here to lure enemies, possibly the dracozombie. And that's my turn. …Welp. Hah. These guys still think they have a chance with this shadowshot stuff. Reinforcements. Nice! Myrrh can use some HP, actually. Free money! Had to store the short spear in the convoy to make room for the key I needed to open the chest, but because this is F-Ram, he can use the convoy as he pleases. That said, my convoy's almost full. Not liking those odds, so I put Seth just inside the dracozombie's attack range, though I completely forget to give Seth a ranged weapon. I'll take it! And everyone else on this side just moves up. Artur will be responsible for luring this dracozombie. And the phantom will try to keep the gargoyles busy for as long as possible. Tana just kinda moves here. Nothing much she can really do, except maybe lure out some of the smaller enemies. Saleh finishes this guy off for a mediocre level. And that ends my turn. EAT SHIT, MONSTER. no not the phantom Completely forgot to equip Knoll with a short-range weapon. This guy landed a blow on Artur. Shit. SHIT. FUCK. By the way, since L'Arachel's return, the only death we'd seen up to this point was Rennac. Coincidence? REVENGE. Also, Excalibur. Also, fuck this guy. A tag team of longbow Innes and dragon axe Gilliam take out the other dracozombie. Strategy! A bunch of my units have low HP and one of my healers is dead. Let's see what Latona looks like. Starts out like any other heal staff. Except the circles are green, like a cross between the blue healing circles and the green restore beams. So many green circles, doe… Like really, she's handing out green circles like she's Oprah. YOU GET A GREEN CIRCLE! AND YOU GET A GREEN CIRCLE! EVERYBODY GETS A GREEN CIRCLE!!! And that's my turn. Luna is not a very accurate tome. His first attack missed. THINK I DIDN'T SEE YOUR SWORDREAVER SHIT? SUCKS FOR YOU, CENTAUR. DON'T TEST ME. Action shots! Pierce! Myrrh on that one-hit-one-kill-level-up flow. Strategy! Eirika starts drawing enemies from that top-right corner over there. no not the phantom reinforcements yaaaaay Gilliam will be responsible for the two spiders up there. Everyone else moves toward the center. About time I did that. …Well, that's cool. Didn't expect current HP to rise along with the max HP. no not the phantom I'm almost mad I didn't bring Tethys for some phantom abuse. Strategy! Fuck these stoners. FUCK YOUR SIEGE MAGIC. Not bad, Natasha. In case your wondering why Gilliam is purple, he got hit with the lethal talon. I've always wondered what it does. I suppose we'll find out soon enough. And I don't have any restore staves to use, so yeah… R.I.P. Assray, Chapter 4–Chapter 21 Action shots! reinforcements yaaaaay The effects of the lethal talon? Poison. Gilliam lost one whole HP due to poison. I'm not worried. Natasha is running low on Shine. If only she had access to the convoy… Good thing she happened to be right next to Ephraim! Perfect. And that's the last of the siege magic. Gilliam moves closer to the party. …I appreciate the point in luck? Yeah, phantom! Except it turns out you can't trade with phantoms, so I just missed out on a killer lance. And all that remains is the boss. One thing you'll notice about Naglfar—well, after its ridiculous name—is that it has unlimited uses, so you couldn't just tank hits until he ran out because he'll never run out. Also, Mag, Def, and Res all approaching 30. Damn. I do not feel comfortable attacking Lyon just yet. So I'll have Ephraim wait right here and let Lyon strike first. Boss conversation between Prince Lyin' and F-Ram. Naglfar's elaborate attack animation leaves Ephraim at 2HP. And F-Ram returns with that… Time to assess my other options. …Well that's just stupid. So I'll send her after the GODDAMMIT REINFORCEMENTS. no not the phantom Saleh ain't lookin' too hot, either, so I send him after the other remaining reinforcement. Guaranteed survival. I like it. The plan here is to have Tana knock Lyon down a bit, heal Ephraim, and let Ephraim get the kill. Generic boss quote. But Pierce activates—when it actually makes a difference for once—bringing Lyon's HP down to 1. Naglfar takes its toll on Tana, knocking her down to 2. But Tana gets the kill! GODDAMMIT, TANA. ALL THAT FOR THIS SHITTY LEVEL. Eh, whatever. Still better than Marisa. To the plot! F-Ram 2 strong doe …Well, yeah, who doesn't want to be hip-hop legend F-Ram of Renais? …I'd say something about how Eirika and Ephraim don't have that kind of relationship, but… A glimpse into Lyon's psyche that drove him to— "Looks like this was all a huge misunderstanding! Sorry about driving Grado into war against the continent, resulting in numerous innocents, including a number of your friends, to death!" And so ends the story of Prince Lyin'. After his fall, Magvel was saved, Grado experienced ages of sunshine and rainbows instead of earthquakes, and— …dafuq Gone, I know. It just up and vanished. But we defeated him. Who's doing this? OH SHIT THE FLOATING TEXT BOX. I ALMOST FORGOT HE WAS THE REAL VILLAIN THE WHOLE TIME. Next time: The Resurrection of the Floating Text Box Screenshot count: 375 Total: 7,888 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Chapter 21, Part 2: The Floating Text Box, Reborn Spoiler There he is, in all his divine glory. The physical manifestation of the Almighty Floating Text Box. Fear him, for his wrath and power know no bounds. Like I said, no bounds. Don't make an over 9000 joke, don't make an over 9000 joke, don't make an over 9000 joke… To b— WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?! Oh…right. Because defeating the Almighty Floating Text Box with pure willpower worked so well for Lyon, right? Cue motivational speech! Cue final party roll call! Eirika! Grandpa Seth! Saiyan Prince Innes! …dick. Tana! Ah, that blink animation never gets old. Gilliam! Damn straight. This is the final boss we're talking about. He ain't gonna be a pushover. Knoll! I don't see what's so shocking. Your people speak legends about this guy. Were you expecting to go up against a Pikmin or some shit? Seven-Stat Natasha! …I almost forgot she's from Grado. Zero-Stat Marisa! Not if you keep up with those zero-stat levels, it won't. Saleh! It better. Mrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Believe in yourself, Myrrh. You're a goddamn manakete. Assray! …Assray? Guys, where'd Artur— Oh…right. Huzzah! Even when he has a body, his text box still points to no one. Oh, yeah? Well, watch this! Hah. And that's the game! Thanks for joining me in my— …Balls. Shit is about to go down. Here's to hoping I don't lose my entire army. Ephraim, calm down. You can't do this on your own. Boss stats. This is the only place to see the Demon King's real name, "Fomortiis," from the ancient Greco-Japanese fomora teis, which translates roughly to, "levitating, inscribed tablet." And a quick glimpse of what his attacks do. I check out his movement range, put a phantom just inside it, prepare everyone else as far forward as possible, and end my turn. The Almighty Floating Text Box's first move is to summon eight monsters to his aid, because that's a thing he can do. I don't know why this surprised me. He's the goddamn Demon King. Yeah, phantom! I never gave myself a chance to use Eclipse, and there's no way I'm using it with that 18% hit rate. Mrrrrrrr does a thing. As does Innes. I don't want to waste too much time on these reinforcements, so I send Ephraim in to test the limits of the boss. Ephraim's boss quote. Shit, how much HP does he even have? How much damage did I even do? Did I do any damage? Maybe, he doesn't take damage until I defeat a certain number of enemies? What is even going on?! Oh shit. Fuckin' laser eyes. That's how you know shit's— wut wut Is…is that really it? THAT WAS THE WHOLE FUCKING BOSS FIGHT?! This has to be the single most anti-climactic boss fight I have ever experienced in my life. I'm sorry, guys. I know, right? That's just…it. I've been completely unintentionally building up the floating text box since Chapter 3, I ended last chapter with that cliffhanger specifically to build this fight, and…that's it. It wasn't even that hard. Like…what were the original heroes even doing back then that they couldn't do what I just did? They couldn't do with five what we did with three. Uh…sure, let's go with that. Hey, it's these guys. And this fuckin' guy, too. Epilogue to come shortly. Screenshot count: 103 Total: 7,991 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Epilogue: Half My Army Died For This? Spoiler The epilogue begins in Rausten Court. "Sure, maybe I'll visit sometime. I'm sure there will be times when I must fulfill diplomatic d—" …wut WUT Up next, we part with Mrrrrrrrr. Uh…sure. I don't see why not. And so, we finally return to Renais. Looks like Innes isn't such a— …dick. I wonder what for… Wait…you mean the one that Lyon tried to prevent with the Demon King's power? The one that all the prophecies—I repeat, every last goddamn one of the prophecies—said couldn't be avoided? God fucking dammit, Lyon. And that's a wrap! Roll the credits! No, I'm not going to show the whole credits. Who do you think I am? But every now and then, the credits are interrupted by some pretty cool artwork. This artwork is unique to Ephraim's route. In Eirika's route, we see artwork depicting Ismaire's death. These guys. Can't quite tell who is supposed to be represented here, but it looks cool. Fordo Baggins and K-Dawg in training with Grandpa Seth. Lil' Franz can also be seen in the background. Plot twist: they're actually honing their rhyming skills, and Seth was an expert beatboxer the whole time! Innes, Tana, Vanessa, and Syrene, seen here having generic fun in a garden in Frelia. But guys, remember Vanessa? Gerik and his mercenaries. Apparently, they like apples. Eirika and Ephraim with the Sacred Stone of Renais. This is cool, I guess. And finally, Eirika and Ephraim sealing the soul of the Almighty Floating Text Box into the Sacred Stone of Rausten. Not pictured: the most anti-climactic boss fight of all time. AND OF COURSE, THIS GAME CAN'T END WITHOUT ANOTHER GODDAMN FLASHBACK. yay friendship Turn count info. I tried to keep my turns to a minimum. I think I did pretty well. No ratings in this game, though, probably because of all the skirmishes you can do. "His beatboxing skills went on to become more legendary than even those of Sir Orson." R.I.P. Franz, Chapter 1–Chapter 11F "And that was before he went Super Saiyan!" lol moulder R.I.P. Vanessa, Chapter 2–Chapter 4 R.I.P. Ross, Chapter 2–Chapter 3 R.I.P. Garcia, Chapter 2–Chapter 12F R.I.P. Colm, Chapter 3–Chapter 14F R.I.P. Neimi, Chapter 3–Chapter 10F R.I.P. Assray, Chapter 4–Chapter 21 R.I.P. Lute, Chapter 4–Chapter 12F R.I.P. Zero-Stat Joshua, Chapter 5–Chapter 14F I don't really have much to say about Natasha. She was useful, but now that I look back, she was kind of a boring character. I mean, I did nothing with supports, but yeah… R.I.P. Fordo Baggins, Chapter 5x–Chapter 12F R.I.P. K-Dawg, Chapter 5x–Chapter 14F "It wouldn't be long, however, before her blink frame caused her to be exiled from Magvel forever." "Innes went on to lead the Saiyan people of Frelia to become a proud warrior race and enter the planetary retail business." "Grace and beauty are really all she had, though, as she didn't have too many war stories to tell." "…which is to say, she committed PTSD-induced suicide shortly after the war. She didn't gain much strength on the battlefield." R.I.P. Duessel, Chapter 10F–Chapter 14F "He had attempted to take over the world with a phantom army, but noticed a massive flaw when he realized he could still only summon one phantom at a time." R.I.P. Cormag, Chapter 10F–Chapter 15 R.I.P. L'Arachel, Chapter 11F–Chapter 14F R.I.P. Dozla, Chapter 11F–Chapter 14F R.I.P. Rennac, Chapter 14F–Chapter 17 "It's been said that one of his mercenaries was cursed with the inability to get any stronger." "Thousands of people at once discovered that they were suddenly able to move twice." "He would not rest until he annoyed every last scholar in Magvel." "Her skills, while always sharp, stagnated, as she never got any stronger than she did at the end of the war." "But yeah, most of his days were spent in isolation." "She didn't even have to protect anything because life was good for thousands upon thousands of years. She totally could've left Darkling Woods if she wanted to." "While her smile was iconic and easily recognizable, she could easily walk about town and blend amongst the people by calling herself Erina." "His war and reconstruction efforts are also noted in the history books, though nothing can surpass the fame of his sweet rhymes." In case anyone's wondering, 16 units fell and 17 survived to the end. And so concludes The Legend of F-Ram. Screenshot count: 96 Total: 8,087 Edited April 30, 2018 by Reilly Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 Bonus Comic: Cormag Spoiler Quote Link to comment
Reilly Posted April 30, 2018 Author Share Posted April 30, 2018 Managed to find time to finish this archive. I even managed to fix the weird formatting issues with the first few chapters. Looks like Chapters 11E and 12F may be lost forever, as any browser on which I try to view these chapters freezes upon attempting to open the spoiler tag. But still, for those who want to check it out, here it is. Quote Link to comment
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