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Route '21 - N4A Chat Thread - January 2021


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22 hours ago, ᚬᚾᛏ ᛅᛋᚴᛅ said:

I came out as trans
RELENTLESSLY FUCKING GAY
graduated from university
got my name legally changed
grifted said government by protesting during work hours throughout the Summer
heavily radicalised

nice
what do you go by now? i unfortunately have no idea how to pronounce uh *searches characters* runic swedish

i think you peaced out before we really interacted much. it's much quieter but comfier nowadays here though.

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23 minutes ago, Pichi said:

nice
what do you go by now? i unfortunately have no idea how to pronounce uh *searches characters* runic swedish

i think you peaced out before we really interacted much. it's much quieter but comfier nowadays here though.

To be fair, I was much more lib back then and no longer really fit in to the environment of the forum at the time. I wouldn't say it was a bad thing to leave. The years have changed me.

 

The runes are Younger Futhark. They transliterate to "Önd Aska". Roughly translated from Old Norse, it means, "Soul Ashes".

 

How've you been? Good to re-meet you. ~

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1 minute ago, ᚬᚾᛏ ᛅᛋᚴᛅ said:

To be fair, I was much more lib back then and no longer really fit in to the environment of the forum at the time. I wouldn't say it was a bad thing to leave. The years have changed me.

 

The runes are Younger Futhark. They transliterate to "Önd Aska". Roughly translated from Old Norse, it means, "Soul Ashes".

 

How've you been? Good to re-meet you. ~


likewise!
you left in 2017? i was in a really rough mental state back then, so... things are definitely better now.
i'd been doing better for a couple years but was still stuck essentially couch surfing. 2020 was gonna be the year i forced myself into some kinda forward motion.
that morphed into getting into online school for lack of anything else that was safe to do, which has been going as well as it can. desperately need ADHD meds though
i came out as trans a few months ago too after a decade of trying to repress saying it wasn't bad enough y;

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3 minutes ago, Pichi said:


likewise!
you left in 2017? i was in a really rough mental state back then, so... things are definitely better now.
i'd been doing better for a couple years but was still stuck essentially couch surfing. 2020 was gonna be the year i forced myself into some kinda forward motion.
that morphed into getting into online school for lack of anything else that was safe to do, which has been going as well as it can. desperately need ADHD meds though
i came out as trans a few months ago too after a decade of trying to repress saying it wasn't bad enough y;

I did! Apparently, I was way in to this forum back then. Doing a search, and even after all this time, I'm still the tenth most prolific member of this entire forum by post count. psyduck;

 

I'm sorry to hear that... That sounds rough. I'm glad you're taking better care of yourself now, though. Congratulations on finally coming out! Pronouns? How do you feel? ~

 

I actually came out before I even left this forum and I think I might have publically mentioned it in passing...? I don't remember, but it must not have been long before I left. I wish I could say that life has been better for it. For a time, it was, but coming out doesn't cure trauma or automatically rehabilitate poor behaviour and harmful social habits held over from being raised in toxic masculine culture. The past two years have, in numerous places, been the worst of my life. I've gained an identity, but lost a lot of people along the way. Too many.

 

I pray that your experience is better. Make those meds a top priority. Get yourself a therapist if you don't have one already, even if you're emotionally stable right now. Trust me: you'll need it. Everybody needs it.

 

What's your major?

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34 minutes ago, ᚬᚾᛏ ᛅᛋᚴᛅ said:

I did! Apparently, I was way in to this forum back then. Doing a search, and even after all this time, I'm still the tenth most prolific member of this entire forum by post count. psyduck;

yeah it probably doesn't help that basically everybody else who was at odds with the forum fell out around that time too
 

34 minutes ago, ᚬᚾᛏ ᛅᛋᚴᛅ said:

I'm sorry to hear that... That sounds rough. I'm glad you're taking better care of yourself now, though. Congratulations on finally coming out! Pronouns? How do you feel? ~

that it's about fucking time lol. if there's one nice thing about waiting so long it's that i don't have much room left for self-doubt.
and that i could slowly distance myself from anybody who would've had a problem with it rather than all at once. said bye to any transphobes loooong ago
 

sorry to hear you've struggled so much along the way, but it sounds like you made it to a decent spot in the end at least?
i don't have the money for therapy but i'm a bit luckier in that regard. managed to work through most of my problems alone and time eventually eased my depression.
i can return to that if i ever need it. rn i'm just trying to find a very low cost way to get a prescription for ADHD like with informed consent lol

the schooling is just a transfer program at a community college for now. i'm eventually gonna do compsci or some other tech thing like every transfem apparently
oh and it's she/they for now, idk where i'm gonna end up. when i came out i just said i was trans and let other ppl assume whatever lol

what made you decide to hop back on here?

Edited by Pichi
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1 minute ago, Pichi said:

yeah it probably doesn't help that basically everybody else who was at odds with the forum fell out around that time too
 

that it's about fucking time lol. if there's one nice thing about waiting so long it's that i don't have much room left for self-doubt.
and that i could slowly distance myself from anybody who would've had a problem with it rather than all at once. said bye to any transphobes loooong ago
 

sorry to hear you've struggled so much along the way, but it sounds like you made it to a decent spot in the end at least?
i don't have the money for therapy but i'm a bit luckier in that regard. managed to work through most of my problems alone and time eventually eased my depression.
i can return to that if i ever need it. rn i'm just trying to find a very low cost way to get a prescription for ADHD like with informed consent lol

the schooling is just a transfer program at a community college for now. i'm eventually gonna do compsci or some other tech thing like every trans woman apparently
oh and it's she/they for now, idk where i'm gonna end up. when i came out i just said i was trans and let other ppl assume whatever lol

what made you decide to hop back on here?

On the contrary, you could say that I am in one of the more harrowing spots in my life right now. I may yet end up in a decent place, but it's going to take months and months and years and years of therapy and desconstruction to get there because, as plain and seemingly stable as I might have seemed several years ago, I am fucked up. 

 

... I'm still breathing, though. Am I alive? Ehhh... Hard to say, but I've definitely died a few times. Still sober as I've been my entire life, too. It's kind of impressive, but I wonder sometimes if that's part the problem. We'll see. 

 

Compsci is part of a trans woman's self-actualisation. Sorry, I don't make the rules. Have fun, though! It's a boring-ass field to write essays about, but enjoyable enough to actually perform.

 

I'm here basically on whimsy, if I'm being honest. Maybe I was looking for community...? Nostalgia? To come full-circle after everything? I don't know. I wasn't expecting much engagement, so thank you for this. ~

 

I'm glad to hear that you seem to be relatively content for now, at least! Congratulations again on coming out.

 

Discord in profile. Slide in to my DM's if you want. Up to you.

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2 hours ago, Stephen 776 said:

Quick. Everyone, what is the last rpg you beat?

 

I just finished replaying First Chapter going for an almost 100% run (skipped some achievements, like opening every chest, but otherwise mostly there). It was really fun revisiting Liberl after seeing the rest of the Trails series too.

 

I'm at what my guide says is the last save point in Xenosaga 2. Don't see why everyone seems to hate this game. It's got some problems, but I'm also noticing that it introduced a lot of things that would later be fine-tuned in 'Blade (unless they were originally in 'Gears).

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i'm rly bad about actually getting to the very end of games lately for some reason
but the last two RPGs i played almost all of were paper mario (64) and ff6, which i revisited in japanese for language practice educate;

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The last RPG I beat... I finished my fourth run of Tokyo Mirage Sessions last year, but I'm also at that point in DQXI where you technically beat it with the credits rolling but there's still one more act to go through so it's not truly over yet. Been taking another short break from it to avoid the burnout, so I've been playing other stuff.

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7 hours ago, Stephen 776 said:

Quick. Everyone, what is the last rpg you beat?

 

I just finished replaying First Chapter going for an almost 100% run (skipped some achievements, like opening every chest, but otherwise mostly there). It was really fun revisiting Liberl after seeing the rest of the Trails series too.

 

Pokemon Moon. 

 

Still shiny hunting in it and working on Ultra Sun. Been playing My Time at Portia a lot lately though. 

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12 minutes ago, Youngster Joey said:

Last RPG I finished was SMT4: Apocalypse. Great game, had a blast playing it. I'm eager to play all the other SMT games on the 3DS.

I also recently finished Rune Factory 4 on the 3DS, and now I'm in RNG Hell. I'm desperately trying to activate Dolce's marriage sub event.


I love RF4 to death but the RNG required for those kinds of events nearly kills it for me. I’ve been plugging through it again on switch and it has a fix for that issue so it has been a much better experience. 

Edited by ace
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Just now, ace said:


I love RF4 to death but the RNG required for those kinds of events nearly kills it for me. I’ve been plugging through it again on switch and it has a fix for that issue so it has been a much better experience. 

Big reason I never got married when I originally played RF4 lmao

 

I should buy the Switch version

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