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Ty plays FE4: The Down's Syndrome Run


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With NS2 likely to disappear forever at any moment now, I figured now would be a good time to archive the Let's Play I did of FE4 from 4 years ago. A few of the screenshots in the original thread are missing from imgur, but luckily I still have all 2,443 of them safe on my hard drive.

 

Also, note that this was played using an older version of FE4's translation patch from before Heroes came out. As such, the names of some characters, locations, and items might be inconsistent.

 

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So, inspired by Iri's Binding Blade playthrough, I decided to start an LP of my own, of Genealogy of the Holy War. However, to make things more interesting, I'm not just doing an ordinary run. I'm doing something that I'd like to call a "Down's Syndrome Run".


What is a Down's Syndrome run? Simple: it's the opposite of a Eugenics run. I'll be intentionally aiming for the worst possible pairings in the first gen, to produce units in the second gen that are genetically engineered to be a shitty as possible. This is different from a substitute-only run, as part of the challenge is actually getting the incompatible parents together; whereas anyone can just kill off all the first-gen women except Deirdre and Ethlyn. There's also the fact that some of the substitute units are almost somewhat useable, like Laylea, Sharlow, Linda, and Amid (with the former two widely considered to be superior to Sylvia's children no matter who her husband is). Thus, the challenge is to overcome the second generation with units that are even weaker than the substitutes.


After consulting with Othin, I have determined that the worst possible pairings are:
*Aideen x Dew
*Ayra x Claude
*Raquesis x Arden
*Sylvia x Jamka
*Fury x Midir
*Tiltyu x Noishe
*Briggid x Azel


Well, technically, I suppose that not all of them are the absolute worst pairings, but I'm not a good enough hacker to replace all the male units with clones of Arden, so these will have to do. Other than the intentionally bad pairings, I'm not imposing any other rules on this run. This means that boss abuse, arena abuse, and intentionally waiting until turn 50 to actually fight so that the love points for the chapter max out, are all fair game. Also, because the chapters in this game can give Ridley a run for his money, I'll be updating the thread after each conquered castle, rather than the actual end of each chapter.


So, without further ado...
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Let's do this!

 

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Prologue, Part 1: These First Few Parts Don't Really Matter Because The Only Female Unit Is Already Married But I'm Including Them Anyway For Completion's Sake



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Starting off, we have the first of many name changes: Midir --> Midayle.


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Too bad Oifey isn't playable in the first gen. Otherwise, he'd get some /ss/ action.


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In a normal playthrough, this would be the last you'd ever see of Arden. But since this is a Down's Syndrome run, he's gonna be one of our MVPs.


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As you can see, the first turn starts with a bandit already at the village. FE4 doesn't fuck around.


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Being an Armor Knight is suffering in a game where most units are mounted.


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All right, Noish, you get the first fight in the game. Let's see how you do...


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Not bad, but not good either. (NOTE: The reason the colors are darker is because I actually paused my emulator in order to get the screenshot before the battle scene automatically ends. Expect to see that a lot in this LP.)


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Alec replaces Arden on guard duty, while Sigurd heads over to the village.


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Name change #2: Aideen --> Adean. Also, this is a scripted battle that's impossible for Midayle to survive. Don't worry; he's not dead.


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Arden's first fight. He dodges, and hits! Now, let's see what we can do about that STR...


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Enter Lex and Azel. Considering the purpose of this LP, I was debating whether or not to kill off the actual good fathers like Lex, but eventually decided that it's okay to keep him around for combat purposes, as long as he stays away from the bachelorettes.


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Arden draws first blood!


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Urgh, I forgot that visiting a town automatically ends your turn in this game.


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Oh well, nothing that Azel can't handle.


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Noish attacks the bandit, and ends his turn.


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Finally, the combat debut of our hero, ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN! Unsurprisingly, he kills the Bandit without lifting a finger.


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Damnit, Arden, if you actually prove yourself useful by dodging all the time, then it's going to undermine the entire purpose of using you in a challenge run!


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Meanwhile, Lex takes a hit, but makes up for the missed combat EXP from last turn.


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What is Azel, chopped liver?


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Lex goes to church to heal off that damage he took last turn, shortly before Azel hides in the bushes to draw aggro from the Bandits.


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Fuck yeah, Azel!


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"Your sister, for one."


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Fuck, talking automatically ends your turn in this game, too.


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Oh well, I'll just send Sigurd along to tackle some more Bandits.


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Finn's first kill. Not too bad, considering that he's a Lance Knight in a map where all the enemies are Axe Fighters.


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*sigh* Really, Noish? You couldn't kill the Bandit? This is the kind of shit that I'd expect from Alec, not from you!


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On the bright side, at least that means Ethlyn gets some free EXP. By the way, I'll be seeing this screen A LOT in this LP, but will be sparing you guys the boredom of having to stare at it for hundreds of turns while I'm staff, boss, and arena abusing.


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Off-screen: Azel, dodging Hand Axes like a boss.


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Sigurd gets the first level up in the game, but unfortunately I'm too slow to pause my emulator in time to grab the screenshot. So, I take one of his stats screen, instead.


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Finally, Noishe successfully kills the Bandit.


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Azel gets the second level-up in the game, gaining a point each in HP and Magic. Note that unlike in FE6, the little numbers that show the stat growths disappear after being applied, rather than staying on screen long enough to be screencapped.


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Lex, on his way to liberate that village.


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Quan's first kill.


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...Are you fucking kidding me? *sigh* God damnit, Lex...


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Meanwhile, Arden continues to be paradoxically useful as he protects Finn and Quan from Bandits, but just can't quite get a level up just yet. Next turn, for sure.


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Sigurd makes a brief retreat from the front lines to take care of a bandit who's making eyes at Quan.


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The aforementioned Quan, about to be healed by his waifu.


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With the village safely liberated, Azel makes his stealthy retreat.


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Arden takes a hit, but earns a level-up in the process: A single point of HP.


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Azel begins drawing aggro toward the rest of the group...


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...while Sigurd prepares for his assault on Jungby Castle.


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On the enemy's turn, the northwestern village takes another point of damage due to Lex's movement range, but at least the bandit responsible is almost dead as of last turn.


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Sigurd joins the "Movement Range Too Small To Save A Village From Being Raped To Death By Bandits" club, but takes a Fighter as a consolation prize.


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At least the northwestern village is finally safe.


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Noish hides in a tree to attack the Axe Fighters guarding Jungby Castle. I'm choosing to imagine his horse hanging upside-down from one of the branches like a sloth, while Noish dangles from the reins with one hand, and swings his sword with the other.


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Sigurd saves the southern village and gets the Speed Ring. We'll worry about who to sell that to later.


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I'm getting real tired of your shit, Lex.


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Azel gets another level-up: Skill, Speed, and Magic.


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Sigurd gets one, too: HP, Strength, Speed, and Luck.


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...and so does Lex: STR, SPD, DEF, LUK, and MDF. Off-screen, Ethlyn levels-up, and gains absolutely nothing.


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Okay, so now that all the villages are safe, all the Bandits are dead, and Ethlyn has finished capping off everyone's HP, it's finally time to begin our assault on Jungby Castle (for real, this time).


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Lex and Quan take out the first guard, while everyone else moves into position to take out the other two.


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After Sigurd brings the second guard within an inch of death, Finn eats the kill, and earns his first level-up: HP, Skill, and Luck.


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Finally, the third guard is taken out by Azel. Now it's time for our first boss fight!


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But I don't want to kill John DiMaggio! He's one of my favorite voice actors... kcry;


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Arden apparently shares my reservations about killing such a beloved voice acting icon, leaving him with one HP instead. He does, however, gain a level-up: HP, STR, and DEF.


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And thus, Azel steals the prize of "First Boss Kill"!

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im gonna give you a pass on a real warning this time since this is old and i understand we were all different people 4 years ago, but i am going to publicly chastise you for using that title and that picture because i feel like, in general, you need a public chastising sometimes and using those was back then and is still now in bad taste 

 

do not push my buttons by doing anything else degenerate in the near future, thank you 

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11 minutes ago, wildflower said:

im gonna give you a pass on a real warning this time since this is old and i understand we were all different people 4 years ago, but i am going to publicly chastise you for using that title and that picture because i feel like, in general, you need a public chastising sometimes and using those was back then and is still now in bad taste 

 

do not push my buttons by doing anything else degenerate in the near future, thank you 

That's fair.

 

I'm also planning on putting in "Editor's notes" to call my past self out on certain jokes that were in even worse taste.

 

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Prologue, Part 2: Dang it, Midayle!


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Told you he wasn't dead.


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Normally, I'd move everyone over to where the next bridge appears before I have Sigurd seize the castle, so that way everyone gets a head start. But for the sake of showing Iri what the game is like, I'll move them normally.


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You dare insult the great John DiMaggio?! Anyone who tarnishes the name of a great voice actor signs their own death warrant!


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This person looks completely trustworthy and is most definitely not a villain. I mean, just listen to his theme song! Does that sound like a villain to you?


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In loving memory of Sigurd's Steel Sword: Prologue Part 1 - Prologue Part 2. Rest in peace.


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All right, time to mop up some Bandits...


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Midayle's first fight, killing a Bandit that Quan buttered up.


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Archers are no match for the Silver Sword of ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN!


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Quan gets a level-up: HP, STR, and DEF. Off-screen, Azel levels-up and gets MAG.


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The last Archer, taken out by a tag-team of Noish and Finn. Off-screen: Ethlyn levels-up and gains Speed while capping off everyone's HP.


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With that out of the way, we begin our march towards Evans Castle.


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From here, Arden is going to serve as our tank while the Bandits break their knuckles against his girth. Off-screen, he levels-up twice, gaining HP and Speed. Ethlyn does, too, gaining HP and Skill. Also, this is image number 69.


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Several staff-abusing turns later, we start picking off the stragglers.


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Midayle's first level-up: HP and Defense. Off-screen, Finn, Lex, and Sigurd kill three of the Bandits and level-up. Finn gains HP, STR, and Luck. Lex gains HP, STR, Speed, and DEF. Sigurd gains HP and Speed.


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With the Evans Castle guards out of the picture, it's time to start one of my favorite past-times: Boss abusing! We're going to take advantage of Gerrard's regenerating health to level up our two long-range units, Azel and Midayle. Naturally, this means that Ethlyn will get some Staff abuse going on, too. For comparison, here are Azel, Midayle, and Ethlyn's stats before boss abuse:


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...and here are their stats AFTER boss abuse:


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The only reason I didn't grind even further is because of financial reasons. Azel only had enough money to fix his Fire tome two and a half times, and if it broke a third time, he would've been unable to fight in Chapter 1's Arena to earn enough money to fix it again. Meanwhile, Ethlyn squandered both her own AND Quan's life savings on Heal staff repairs, but since she promoted, she can now earn her own allowance. If the Prologue had an Arena, then I probably would've been able to promote Azel, grind Midayle to where Azel is now, and completely max out Ethlyn. But alas, the way things are, this is where I had to stop. As the old man from Binding Blade once said: "MONEY IS REALLY IMPORTANT, DAMNIT!"


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Anyway, Sigurd gets the kill because everyone else is too stupid to finish him when he has 5 HP left. (EDITOR'S NOTE: I debated whether or not to leave in any instances of the R-word, since I myself belong to the group that said word is a slur for, but ultimately decided to change it to the less-offensive "stupid".)


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Weren't you paying attention to what Gerrard just said?


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For those who care about your Tactics rating, this is what Boss Abuse does to your turn count.

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1 hour ago, Tyranogre said:

I'm also planning on putting in "Editor's notes" to call my past self out on certain jokes that were in even worse taste.

why not just rewrite those parts? if you're taking the time to do that, i can't imagine any downsides. not like there are loads of people going "THAT'S NOW HOW IT WAS IN THE ORIGINULLL"

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18 minutes ago, Pichi said:

why not just rewrite those parts? if you're taking the time to do that, i can't imagine any downsides. not like there are loads of people going "THAT'S NOW HOW IT WAS IN THE ORIGINULLL"

Rewriting them wouldn’t really work because the entire game has already been played through and commented on. I can’t really come up with new jokes for a four-year-old series of screenshots.

 

So far all I’ve done is replace any instances of the R-word with “stupid”.

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Chapter 1, Part 1: Much Adean About Nothing



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Boring plot stuff.


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Huh, that's interesting. They actually translated her class as "Myrmidon" in this patch. Anyway, this is Ayra, the Navarre archetype of this game. Though, breeding-wise, she's more like Cordelia: she has such amazing genes that her children are practically impossible to fuck up. Everything they could ever need, they'll automatically inherit from their mother, with their father's genes amounting to little more than extra bonuses. As such, for the purpose of this Down's Syndrome run, Ayra will be paired with Claud. But first, we need to actually recruit her.


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First off, this is what the inside of the Home Castle looks like. In each chapter, your army starts off inside a Home Castle (usually the last castle that you conquered at the end of the previous chapter). It's also where your units have to go to Promote once they reach Level 20 (as Ethlyn did off-screen in the last episode). However, if the enemy seizes the Home Castle, it's an automatic Game Over. So, you usually want to leave someone behind to guard it.


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By selecting one of your units and clicking "Town", there are lots of cool things you can do. You can also do this at any other castle that's controlled by either you or the green army. The only difference is that you can only Promote at the Home Castle. For now, let's go to the Arena.


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This should always be the first thing you do at the start of a Chapter. The Arena works differently in this game than in the rest of the series. Each chapter (barring the Prologue) has an arena with seven opponents in it. Each unit can only defeat the seven opponents once, but the opponents will re-spawn if you bring a different unit to the Arena. If you lose, you don't die; instead you're reduced to 1 HP and need to be healed. Now, the thing that makes this fun is that the game doesn't consider fighting in the Arena to be "taking an action", and will therefore allow you to save after each win. But as soon as one of your units sets foot outside the Home Castle, the game will consider it to have "taken an action", and will forbid you from saving until the start of your next turn. Therefore, you'll want to soft-reset if you lose in the Arena, as healing will also "take an action". After you soft-reset, either try again with the same character but a different weapon, or a different character. This will cause the RNG to shuffle around until you can win. But if you get to a point where every character and every weapon results in a loss, then it's probably time to actually start the Chapter. Finally, if you stay on this screen for long enough, you'll get to hear a neat little remix of FE1's "Player Phase" theme.


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The Pawn Shop is basically this game's version of the "Trade" mechanic. In order to transfer items from one unit to another, you have to have the first unit sell the item to the Pawn Shop, and then have the second unit buy it for double the price. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it sucks. But it's one of the things that makes FE4 a different experience. For now, let's have Sigurd get rid of all his items except the Silver Sword. He really doesn't need anything else.


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Next, we're going to have Arden buy the Steel Sword that Sigurd was using before Arvis gave him the Silver Sword. This is the introduction of a new mechanic: for each kill a weapon scores, its critical hit rate will go up by a small percent. A weapon will retain its "kill count", and therefore its critical hit rate, even if you sell it to another unit. Since this Steel Sword was once wielded by the great ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN, it already has a decent kill count on it.


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The Item Shop is basically the Armory, except that each weapon can only be bought once. For now, let's buy that Iron Lance for Noish. Off-screen, I cleared all seven Arena matches with Sigurd, Noish, Azel, Quan, and Ethlyn.


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With preparations out of the way, our first order of business is to take out that Bandit before he destroys that village.


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Meanwhile, we're introduced to Jamke, Adean, and Dew.


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Adean is a bit of an oddball in that she gives birth to a physical son and a magical daughter. As such, a lot of her pairings tend to greatly benefit one of her children while screwing over the other. For the sake of this Down's Syndrome run, I ultimately decided to pair her with Dew, which will result in merely average stats for both children. Luckily, the game spawns her and Dew right next to each other, which should greatly speed up this process.


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While our main force takes care of a Fighter infestation, Lex has an important errand to run elsewhere.


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Ooh, that's nice. I might sell that to Lex later.


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Now comes the tricky part: We need to capture Genoa Castle and then speak to Ayra to recruit her. This would be pretty simple, if not for the fact that Ayra is one of the people guarding the castle. And since Sigurd is both the one who needs to talk to Ayra and the only one who can seize castles, he needs to be able to take out the boss without accidentally killing Ayra.


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Meanwhile, Lex offers the /ss/ couple a helping hand.


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Now, let's carefully scout out Ayra's movement range and plan our attack accordingly. We'll start by moving Sigurd into the attack range of one of the Fighters.


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Now for Step 2: have Sigurd storm the castle, and everyone else GTFO.


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I don't think that village is going to make it, but we'll see how Lex is doing once Adean and Dew are safe.


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For our 100th image, we have Sigurd storm the castle. Off-screen, he kills the boss, levels-up, and gains HP, STR, Luck, and MDF.


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Kinky.


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Unfortunately, Seizing is another one of those pesky actions that end your turn, which means that we can't talk to Ayra just yet. Ooh, the suspense is killing me!

 

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@Chrom

I'm not sure if that's the latest patch or not, but I think they really should've renamed the first arena enemy from Gazak to Gazzak. He's supposed to be an allusion to Gazzak, the boss of Chapter 1 from Shadow Dragon.

 

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Chapter 1, Part 2: The Last Ayrabender



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Starting off, we're technically still on the same turn as we were at the end of the last episode. So, with everyone safely out of Ayra's movement range, our first order of business is to move Sigurd over so he can talk to her. Which he currently can't do, because he just ended his turn by seizing Genoa Castle.


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So instead, let's view a conversation between the /ss/ couple.


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The innuendo just writes itself, really.


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The Warp Staff in this game is significantly less broken than it was in Shadow Dragon, in that you can only Warp people to a castle that you control. On the other hand, it's still a great tool for staff abusing. As a bonus, the conversation also gives Adean 50 Love Points with Dew, which should more than override any that she gained with Lex while the latter was helping them fend off the Fighters. Speaking of Lex, he'll have to delay his trip to the village for one more turn to take out that Archer.


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The good news is that seizing the castle causes Ayra to retreat, making it easier for Sigurd to talk to her.


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Suddenly, this asshole. Luckily, Evans just so happens to be where we sent our army to hide from Ayra, so we shouldn't have to worry about him too much.


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Our next task is to hurry over and take out those Lance Knights before Eldigan sucks up all the EXP.


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Not the most orthodox way for same-turn reinforcements to screw you over, but one that exists nonetheless.


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All right! Thanks to the overwhelming charisma of ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN, we gain a new ally!


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And boy, could we use her help!


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Lex's level-up because why not: HP, DEF, and MDF.


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...and, all the Lance Knights are dead. Fuck you, Eldigan.


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Cutting it real close there, Lex.


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More injuries means more staff abuse!


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Dew's first (on-screen) level-up: SPD, DEF, and MDF.


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:|


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As much as I'd hate to ruin this yuri moment, I need to point out that A): Ethlyn is already married, and B): Adean is attempting to seduce a 13-year-old boy.


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And with that, Ethlyn gets the Return Staff, which enables her to send people back to the Home Castle. Useful for when someone reaches Level 20 in the middle of a battle and you want to promote them quickly, but other than that, not as good as Warp.


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About damn time Ayra finally got some action! Let's see how she does...


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Slightly underwhelming, but nothing a little Arena abuse can't fix...


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Meanwhile, if we have Quan talk to Finn, Finn will gain a few points of STR, SKL, and SPD. Despite what the conversation says, Finn does not get the Brave Lance. That comes later.


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After numerous delays, Lex finally makes it to the village...


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...and leaves the Bandit with 13 HP. anhero;


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Ayra's first level-up: HP, STR, SPD, and DEF.


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Enjoy that 500 Gold, Lex. You've earned it.


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Meanwhile, Marpha Castle is going to keep spitting out reinforcements for Sigurd to take care of while everyone else catches up.


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Now, remember in the last episode when I said Lex had an important errand to run? Well, nearly failing to rescue the village was only part of it. We need to move him through the forest to the north.


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Now that the gang's all here, this would normally be a good time for some Boss abuse. However, this time I actually want to capture the castle quickly so I can check on Dew and Adean's love points at the Fortune Teller.


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Believe it or not, Grima wasn't the first time that a Fire Emblem antagonist was named after a Lord of the Rings character. (EDITOR'S NOTE: This joke makes no sense at all now that Gandolf has been officially localized as "Munnir".)


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"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" vs "SHA-SHA-SHAH!" Who will win?


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Midayle barely makes a scratch, but he does get a level-up: HP, Skill, and DEF.


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Let's see if Azel fares any better...


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Now THAT'S more like it!


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So close, and yet so far...


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...and yet, even closer.


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Before Sigurd seizes the castle, I do some last-minute Staff abuse with Adean, which gives her a level-up of HP and... Strength. :v


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*GASP* John DiMaggio! I KNEW you were still alive! (no, seriously. It's the same portrait.)


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And on the note of being reunited with our favorite voice actor, next stop: Spirit Forest!

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Chapter 1, Part 3: Come On And Slamke, And Welcome To The Jamke



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Don't you mean, "Sandima! You dastard!"?
 
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At least this time he dies during an actual cutscene, as opposed to a scripted battle like Midayle.
 
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"Hi, I'm Archbishop Manfroy! You may remember me from such websites as Tyranogre's mediocre Facebook fanpage!" (EDITOR'S NOTE: Said Facebook fanpage is now pretty much dead. I do most of my shitposting on Twitter now.)
 
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Important plot stuff. Don't worry, Manfroy isn't always as talkative as Jahn.
 
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Anyway, our mission is to take out these Fighters and have Adean talk to Jamke without killing him.
 
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Of course, due to the forest terrain, this is much easier said than done.
 
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Good...
 
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...and, good. Looks like everything is in order.
 
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Also, Ayra completely slaughters the Arena in one go.
 
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Several painfully slow turns later, we finally make it to the forest choke point.
 
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The area is a bit cramped, but does provide Arden with a chance to do some catching up. The tricky part is arranging my units so that they can effectively take out the Fighters, while also keeping Adean and Ayra away from their unwanted suitors.
 
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A few significantly less painfully slow turns, a few fuck-ups, and a few soft-resets later, we successfully recruit Jamke. Now to move him away from Adean before he NTRs Dew.
 
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And HOLY FUCK LOOK AT HIM GO! He crits an enemy Fighter to death with ease!
 
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Also, Arden levels-up: HP, STR, and DEF.
 
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If we move Sigurd past the choke-point (which you'd eventually have to do anyway in order to seize the castle, even if you somehow took out the boss by sequence-breaking), this will happen.
 
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And so begins the Shakespearean romance between Deirdre and ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN.
 
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Several even more painfully slow turns later, we finally make it out of the forest, only to discover yet another forest standing between us and Verdane Castle.
 
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To complete Lex's important errand, have him wait on this space.
 
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Pay close attention to this lady here. She'll be important later.
 
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And with that, we have the introduction of FE4's mechanic of rewarding you for sending your units to the middle of Bumblefuck, Nowhere and having them wait on specific tiles.
 
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Pay close attention to Sandima's attack range, and arrange the party in a pattern that's just close enough to draw the guards away from Verdane Castle.
 
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When we're ready, we step into Sandima's attack range, and learn that his sprite looks kinda like a Klansman. Who would've thought that a cult of Dark Mages would be supporters of White Supremacy?
 
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Jamke's first (on-screen) level-up: HP, Skill, Luck, and DEF.
 
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Light Magic looks really trippy in this game. I wish I could show you guys the full animations, but alas, a single frame will have to do. Off-screen: Midayle kills an Archer, levels-up, and gains HP and Speed.
 
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Here, we have a very rare sight: Dew actually killing something! While we're here, I might as well take the time to explain how Dew works. If Ayra is the Cordelia of this game, then Dew is the Gaius. He himself isn't anything special, but he has amazing genes. He passes down Bargain, which halves the cost of buying and repairing items (basically Silver Card as a skill instead of an item), and Sol, which works pretty much the same as it does in Awakening and the Tellius Saga. On top of that, his Speed modifiers are also great. In a regular playthrough, you'd want to pair him up with either Ayra, Sylvia, or Briggid. As a Thief, he will automatically steal Gold from any enemy that he successfully lands a hit on, and can then select the "Give" command to give that Gold to any other unit that you control. This is important because Gold can normally only be directly transferred between units who are married to each other. However, Dew's biggest downfall is his abysmal Strength stat.
 
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Now, with all the guards out of the way, I have some good news, and some bad news.
 
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The good news is that Deirdre was able to cast Silence on Sandima, rendering him impotent.
 
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The bad news is that Silence only lasts for six turns. And since Deirdre has a limited pool of Gold, this means no boss abuse. :(
 
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From here on out, I'll be attempting to show off any unique boss dialogs that are either awesome, or otherwise plot-relevant. This one, however, is rather generic.
 
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With Sandima dead, now's the time to send everyone back to the Home Castle to do some last-minute Arena abusing. Using the Warp and Return staffs with Ethlyn and Adean can greatly speed up this process, as well as gain a few level-ups.
 
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Also, an easily-missable conversation between Ayra and Quan. No reward, though, so don't worry if you miss it.
 
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A common result of sending Dew to the Arena.
 
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After several turns of Arena and Staff abuse, it's finally time to advance the plot. Nothing major, though. King Batou tells Sigurd that the Loptyr Sect was responsible for Verdane's aggression, then dies of his injuries.
 
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Also, since I didn't say it last time, let me say it now: IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KEEP MORE THAN ONE SAVE FILE! I generally keep two: One at the start of each chapter, and one after capturing each castle. This is important because there is no "restart chapter" option on the main menu. So if you fuck up, you'll want to be able to undo your mistake by loading from an earlier save.

 

As we end things off, I've got a few interesting bits of trivia about Jamke. First of all, he was originally going to be an Axe Fighter, until Shozou Kaga took a liking to his character, and changed him into an Archer instead. Secondly, there are conflicting sources as to Jamke's relationship with King Batou and the bosses of this chapter, Kinbois and Gandolf. According to the in-game dialog, Jamke is King Batou's youngest son, with Kinbois and Gandolf being his older brothers. But according to the Fire Emblem 20th Anniversary artbook, King Batou is Jamke's grandfather, with Kinbois and Gandolf being his uncles. In other words, King Batou is either Jamke's father or his grandfather, while Gandolf and Kinbois are either his brothers or his uncles. Of course, considering how much incest is in this game, it's entirely possible that they're both. theydonothing;

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Chapter 2, Part 1: Holyn To The Night



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Expository plot stuff.
 
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These two are one of the pairings that people are talking about when they say this series has a lot of incest.
 
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MAH BOI, this peace is what ALL true warriors strive for!
 
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TL;DR: Chagall's an asshole.
 
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More exposition with our pal Manfroy.
 
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Your Majesty, Chagall and his minions have seized the wielder of Mystletainn!
 
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Did I mention that there was a lot of incest in this series? Because there's kind of a lot of incest in this series.
 
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We'll get into Eve and his brothers a bit later. Trust me, they're important.
 
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Oh, hey! It's the asshole from Chapter 1! Maybe we'll actually get to fight him this time.
 
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Sigurd, Princess Raquesis is under attack by the evil forces of Chagall!
 
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I'm going to Nordion to aid her!
 
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But Darling, what if something happens to you?
 
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I'll take the Triforce of Support Bonuses to protect me! If you don't hear from me in a month, send Oifey!
 
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After the painfully slow intro, we begin preparations by fighting an Arena opponent with the most romantic name ever.
 
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What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am?! I'm the goddamn ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN! (Editor's note: I'm leaving in this one instance of the R-word for the sake of the All-Star Batman and Robin joke.)
 
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And with that, Holyn joins the party. Despite his class being translated as Myrmidon instead of Mercenary, he's pretty much the Ogma archetype of this game. Normally, you'd want to pair him up with Briggid or Ayra. But in this Down's Syndrome run, I couldn't figure out any pairings for him that he could fuck up that couldn't be fucked up even more with other fathers, so he'll most likely remain single.
 
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"Hertzog"? For some reason that name reminds me of an enemy from Metroid II.
 
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Our first objective is to get to Nordion Castle to recruit Raquesis. Those three green Paladins are Eve, Eva, and Alva. You might recognize them from Raquesis's SpotPass team in Awakening. Although their survival isn't critical to the mission, we'll want to keep them alive anyway for some neat rewards.
 
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If we have Deirdre talk to her sister-in-law...
 
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...Ethlyn will receive the Light Sword, an awesome weapon that deals damage based on her Magic stat.
 
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Uh-oh, that's not good...
 
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Luckily, we made it to Nordion Castle with a few turns to spare.
 
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Once our mounted units have knocked over a few of Elliot's troops, Sigurd is able to squeeze in and talk to Raquesis.
 
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Unfortunately, this renders Raquesis unable to leave Nordion Castle. We'll have to take out the rest of Elliot's troops to give her some leg room.
 
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The Bandits are getting uncomfortably close to those villages, but on the bright side, at least this time it's not Lex's fault. theydonothing;
 
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Speaking of Lex, he finishes off Elliot, but doesn't quite gain enough EXP to level up. Which is a shame, because he needs to level up very soon. You'll see why in a bit.
 
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Our next goal is to seize Heirhein Castle, which will indirectly solve our little Bandit problem.
 
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With Adean x Dew mostly underway, it's time to start working on our next Down's Syndrome pairing: Raquesis x Arden. Like Adean, Raquesis also gives birth to a physical son and a magical daughter. Interestingly, she's also one of two instances in the Jugdral timeline of a female unit canonically bearing children from two different fathers. However, in terms of gameplay, she can only have one husbandou. Her best choices are either her canon love interests Finn and Beowulf, or odd-men-out Dew and Azel. For this playthrough, though, she'll gain the honor of bearing children from the downright worst father in the game, Arden.
 
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This time, the boss kill goes to Finn, earning him a level-up of HP and Luck.
 
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:|
 
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With Lex finally at Level 20, it's time to send him back to the Home Castle. Ethlyn's trusty Return Staff will expedite this process.
 
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And with that, Lex gains the title of "first on-screen promotion after Ethlyn stole the first overall promotion by staff-abusing in the Prologue"!
 
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Now for the less-exciting part: moving him halfway across the map again to re-join the rest of the party.
 
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While Jamke finishes off Boldo, Sigurd mops up the last of the guards and seizes Heirhein Castle.
 
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Aside from those villages being attacked by Bandits, of course.

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Chapter 2, Part 2: You Spoony Bard!


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This time, Arden is the one with an important errand to run, but thankfully, it's not as out-of-the-way as Lex's was. The only hassle is that Raquesis has to accompany him for the love growth.
 
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Also, now you can have Quan talk to Finn to give him the Brave Lance.
 
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ABOUT GODDAMN TIME.
 
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Glad to see they at least kept that line in the current patch.
 
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Unfortunately, it may be too late to save that village to the north...
 
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Have Arden wait on this tile to complete his errand.
 
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Behold: The one thing that justifies Arden's existence! The Pursuit Ring is invaluable in a normal playthrough for units who can't normally double-attack, and is also a fantastic choice to pass down to the second generation. But in this Down's Syndrome run? Who knows, I might have Arden hold onto it for a little while...
 
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See this Free Knight standing next to the mini-boss? He's important. Be careful not to kill him.
 
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Sadly, the village to the north was completely destroyed. To this day, the reward for saving it remains unknown.
 
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If we talk to the aforementioned Free Knight with someone who has at least 10,000 Gold on them...
 
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...we recruit Beowulf, the spiritual predecessor of Hugh and Farina! In terms of genetics, I don't think I've ever seen a discussion that involves him being paired up with anyone other than Raquesis. Thus, his only potential mate in this Down's Syndrome run would have to be someone who already gets Pursuit.
 
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An interesting little tidbit is that Beowulf's 10,000-Gold recruitment fee actually goes into his personal funds, which means that unlike Farina and Hugh, the money doesn't "disappear".
 
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psssh...nothin personnel...kid...
 
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Upon defeat, Voltz will drop the highly-sought-after Paragon Ring, which doubles the EXP of anyone holding it. We'll ponder who to give it to later, but for now, it can stay on Midayle.
 
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With the Bandit infestation taken care of, it's time for Lewyn and Sylvia to begin their painfully slow trek through the forest to rendezvous with ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN (hey, that time I managed to type out all of his honorifics from memory instead of using copy-and-paste!). The villages will be left alone for now so we can visit them later with people who are short on Gold.
 
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Also, Lex finally catches up.
 
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Aww yeah. ohyeah;
 
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Beowulf's first level-up: HP and Defense.
 
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In addition to Boss Abuse, another favorite strategy of mine is build a "human cage" around an enemy Bow-user so that they can neither move nor attack. This allows a weaker unit like Dew to move over and steal the kill.
 
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Speaking of Boss Abuse, now wouldn't be a bad time to start doing that, especially with Midayle's Paragon Ring.
 
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Several painfully slow turns later, Sigurd and Lewyn finally meet.
 
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Arden and Raquesis have also caught up, which means that the latter can finally get in on some sweet Staff Abuse action. On the sidelines, you can see the beginning of our next Down's Syndrome pairing, Sylvia x Jamke.
 
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MacBeth is taken down by a tag-team of Midayle and Azel, the latter of which is now only two levels away from promoting.
 
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After seizing Anphony Castle, we close out the episode with some boring, but important plot stuff.

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Chapter 2, Part 3: I HAVE FERRY!

 

 

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Clearly you've never seen Ro-Kyu-Bu.
 
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Starting off, this may seem crazy, but it would be a good idea to Warp Lewyn back to the Home Castle. Just trust me on this.
 
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...along with Midayle, for good measure.
 
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See those four Pegasus Knights? They're about to Zerg Rush the Home Castle, so we need Lewyn there to intercept them.
 
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For everyone else, we'll want to start moving them toward Mackily Castle, to the northeast of Nordion.
 
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While capping off the wounds from the MacBeth fight, Ethlyn reaches Level 30, and becomes our first unit to max out. Here are her final stats.
 
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While we're here, I might as well take this opportunity to talk about Sylvia. In keeping with the theme of comparing units in this game to units in Awakening, Sylvia would be the Sully. The only way for her children to be anything more than mediocre is if she's married to either Claude or Lewyn. We'll get to Claude at a later date, but for now, let's focus on Lewyn. Lewyn x Sylvia produces a unit that can use one of the greatest weapons in the Fire Emblem franchise. However, the catch is that said unit joins at level 1, unpromoted, two chapters before the end of the game. On top of this, Sylvia's other child is a Dancer, and thus any inheritance on her end is entirely superficial. In other words, Sylvia has hands-down the worst gene pool in the first generation, to the point that the replacement units for her children will far surpass them in any playthrough. Thus, for the purpose of this Down's Syndrome run, the only way I could make them any worse is by pairing her with Jamke, which will not only limit Corpul's magical potential, but also pass down a redundant Adept skill. The worst part? The Dancer class is actually rather decent in this game, being able to refresh up to four units at a time, like a transformed Heron Laguz. Sylvia is just that bad.
 
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And here, we see a wild Armor Knight in its natural mountain habitat.
 
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A few not-quite-so-painfully-slow turns later, we successfully intercept the Augustrian military, thanks to a bit of help from Adean and Ethlyn. Off-screen, I take Ethlyn to the Pawn Shop and sell off her entire inventory except for the Light Sword. Now that she's maxed out, other people have greater need for her staffs.
 
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Also, a brief trip to the Repair Shop to fix up ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN's Silver Sword (try saying THAT ten times fast!).
 
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Name change #3: Fury --> Ferry.
 
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And with that, we've recruited Ferry with 10 turns to spare before the Love Points in this chapter stop growing. Not as much as I'd hoped for to start working on Ferry x Midayle, but it's a start.
 
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Hmm, interesting... it appears that the writers of this patch decided to give Sety (the Crusader) a different name than Sety (Ferry's son). From my last playthrough, I know that they went with Ced for Ferry's son to keep up with Awakening's "official" localizations, so it seems like the Crusader gets to keep his name for now.
 
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Jamke has started to notice Sylvia...
 
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...but Sylvia still has feelings for Lewyn. We'll have to do something about that next chapter.
 
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Meanwhile, now that it's past Turn 50, it's time to stop dicking around and focus on the task at hand. We'll start by moving the Leonsters into the attack range of these Ballisticians (yep, just like in Shadow Dragon, Ballistas get their own class in this game. It's enemy-only, though).
 
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This will open up a path for our Mages to squeeze through and start picking off those Myrmidons.
 
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Sadly, Clement has a Sleep Staff, which severely limits our ability to Boss Abuse. We'll want to take him out quickly.
 
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On the bright side, Deirdre still has her Silence Staff, which we can take advantage of to temporarily castrate those enemy Mages.
 
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On the even brighter side, said Silence Staff also works against Clement, which will give us a bit more leg room for our underleveled melee units to get some EXP.
 
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Also, Ferry is able to take out the Ballisticians with a bit of help from Sylvia.
 
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Damnit, Azel! Even when I feed you a boss kill, you STILL can't gain enough EXP to reach level 20?! You've been hanging out with Lex too much!
 
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Azel, you should take notes from Adean.
 
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Nine turns later (yes, I actually counted them this time)...
 
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...Adean becomes our third promoted unit! Now to spend nine MORE turns moving her back to the rest of the group. y;
 
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Once Adean is back, we seize Mackily Castle. Thankfully, there's no boring plot stuff this time.
 

 

 

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@K:

Ferry, euch

 

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@Iridium

I'm not sure which name is more consistent with FE4's awful naming mechanisms.
 
"Fury" is fantastic for "mythological references that you should never name your children", but "Ferry" works better for "why the fuck is almost everything either norse or gaelic in origin".

 

These two comments, along with the episode's title, are now rendered obsolete. The character in question has been officially localized as "Erinys".

Edited by Tyranogre
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Chapter 2, Part 4: Hey, Everybody, It's Chagallconroy!



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More exposition with our pal Manfroy.
 
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Our goal here is to take out those Armor Knights, as well as a squadron of Lance, Axe, and Bow Knights coming in from the north off-screen.
 
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Quan takes out the mini-boss, Zyne, and earns a level-up: HP and Speed. Also, Zyne drops the Horseslayer Lance, a highly useful weapon in a game where half the enemy units are mounted.
 
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Not sure why the three green Paladins are going after the enemy. They're supposed to be programmed to stay close to Raquesis. Either way, keeping them alive just became significantly harder.
 
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VERY IMPORTANT: Keep this Ballistician alive.
 
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A few soft-resets later (courtesy of those green idiots killing the Ballistician), Azel finally reaches Level 20, prompting Adean to Warp him back to the Home Castle.
 
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Since he has a horse now, it shouldn't take quite as long for him to re-join the rest of the group.
 
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With the enemies out of the way, allow me to explain why this is one of the best grinding spots in the game. Remember that Ballistician I told you to keep alive? Well, Chagall has a Physic Staff, which he'll use to heal off any damage that you inflict on the Ballistician. But since this is FE4, enemies are immune to weapon durability, which means that Chagall's Physic Staff has unlimited uses. Thus, as long as you don't kill the Ballistician, you can keep attacking him over and over until you stop gaining EXP! On top of that, Chagall himself has only a Silver Sword to defend himself, giving our Archers and Mages free rein to take potshots at him and let his health regenerate for even MORE EXP! If your weapon breaks, just retreat back to Mackily to repair it. The Ballistician will attempt to hit you during your retreat, but if he does, you can just have a healer cap it off for some Staff EXP, as well. However, DO NOT use Raquesis as the healer unless you position her as far away from Augusty Castle as you can. Otherwise, the green idiots will kill the Ballistician, putting an end to our shenanigans.
 
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For reference, these are my levels before Boss Abuse...
 
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...and after.
 
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Also, since Deirdre and Sylvia maxed out their levels, here are their final stats. There's a reason why Deirdre's inventory is empty. We'll get to that later.
 
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So, now that we're done grinding and Chagall has been defeated, all that's left is to have ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN seize Augusty Castle and watch some boring plot stuff, right?
 
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Not quite yet. First we need to head back and collect the goodies from the Villages that we saved a few episodes ago.
 
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28,000 Gold, and this amusing conversation about Eldigan and Raquesis.
 
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For keeping the three green idiots alive, we get the Knight Ring for Raquesis. This allows her to move again after attacking, like a mounted unit.
 
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Basically, Eldigan rescued Chagall from death after we defeated him, Eldigan is upset with us for taking over half the country of Augustria (even though they started it), and is giving us one year for Grannvale and Augustria to patch things up. Sorry I didn't capture more of this conversation; I'll explain why in a mini-rant.
 
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Ahh... I can already hear my Tactics rank crying! theydonothing;

 

And on that note, HOLY FUCK AM I GLAD TO FINALLY CLICK "Add Reply"! Between the thousand turns of Boss Abuse, accidentally navigating away from NS2 while grabbing the screenshot of Arden killing Chagall, having to re-type my commentary, and my computer suddenly becoming slower than a snail towing a luxury cruise liner through the La Brea tar pit, this episode took almost eleven fucking hours to complete. anhero;
 
Sorry, guys. I woke up at 4:45 this morning and thought I could get another double dose of episodes done today, but after what just happened, I feel like punching an infant.

 

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@Reilly:

Am I the only one here that thinks "Raquesis" should be the name of a strong, independent black woman who don't need no man and not a white girl with a brother-with-benefits?  Because I'm disappointed every time I see that bizarre-looking name and a boring-looking character associated with it.

 

Hooray, no broken images this time!

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Chapter 3, Part 1: Grand Theft Pegasus: Augustria City Stories



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Expository plot stuff.
 
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Chagall on illegal immigration.
 
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The Thunder Sword, also known as the Levin Sword. Or at least it would be, if we didn't also have a playable unit named Levin... except that he's called "Lewyn" in this patch, so... bah, fuck it.
 
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Well, so much for "if it came to it, I could take you out in a moment's notice"...
 
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Yay, more shit to worry about.
 
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Hey, don't talk down to Dobarl! He's a palette swap of the great John DiMaggio!
 
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A plot twist that would later be used in Final Fantasy V, Wind Waker, and Queen's Blade Rebellion.
 
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Oh right, Seliph was born during the past year. You'd think that would be at least mentioned in the expository plot stuff, but nope, not even a passing reference.
 
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Someone needs to write an /ss/ NTR doujin about Deirdre and Shanan.
 
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Why they'd let a blind, deaf woman fight in a gladiatorial arena is beyond me.
 
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On that note, look who just hit Level 20! However, ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN is already perfect, so he doesn't need to promote.
 
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Remember last episode when I sold off Deirdre's inventory? Well, this is why: the game won't let her leave the Home Castle in Chapter 3. She can still buy and sell items and fight in the Arena, but since she's already at level 30, there's no point in doing this other than to squeeze out a few pennies to give to Sigurd.
 
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Quick, someone show this to TUMF!
 
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Mario's defeat sends Jamke to Level 20...
 
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...allowing him to speak with an Australian accent, live in a van, and throw jars of piss at people!
 
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With preparations complete, we have three Down's Syndrome pairings that we still need to work on: Raquesis x Arden, Ferry x Midayle, and Sylvia x Jamke. By the end of this chapter, the remaining pairings should hopefully be underway, as well.
 
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Either Holyn or Lex can speak to Ayra to give her a Brave Sword, but this will also give Ayra 100 Love Points with whoever gave it to her. Since I don't want to actually pair her with either of them, I ultimately decided to go with Lex since the difference in movement range should make it easier to keep them apart long enough for Ayra to fall in love with someone else.
 
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In addition to the pairings, there are also two villages each to the east and west of Madino Castle, which we'll need to rescue from the Pirates.
 
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On top of that, our home castle is in danger of being spitroasted by two advancing squadrons: Armor Knights from the east, and Lance Knights from the west. Since Lewyn and Ayra are currently single, we'll leave them behind to intercept the invaders. Once the villages are safe, we'll send over a few of our B-list units to back them up.
 
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Meanwhile, our main battalion should be preparing to march on Madino Castle. See that enemy Bishop in the middle? Normally, I'd take advantage of him to do some more boss abuse, but since there are Pirates running loose and Villages to the north, we'll want to capture Madino quickly this time. Plus, we want to recruit Claude, Tiltyu, and Briggid before turn 50 so we can start working on pairing them.
 
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When I Warp Sigurd to the Home Castle so he can assist Ayra, this amusing bug happens.
 
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For once, visiting a Village provides information that's actually useful, rather than just boring plot stuff.
 
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This will come in handy later.
 
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Visiting this Village will increase your Strength by 3 points. Useful for Dew, who needs all the Strength he can get.
 
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On second thought, since Azel took care of the last Pirate, we might be able to do a bit of boss abuse after all. Just for a few turns, though, since we still want to start the remaining Down's Syndrome pairings.
 
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This will be useful next chapter.
 
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After Jacoban takes an arrow to the jugular vein, we seize Madino Castle for some boring plot stuff.
 
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Sorry, did I say "boring"? Because I meant "really, really, really important".
 
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Alas, Claud and Tiltyu are merely green units right now. We don't get to control them just yet.
 
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Meanwhile, back at the Home Castle...
 
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GUESS WHO?! kvhappy;
 
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For added hilarity, it's entirely possible to arrange your units so that the above cutscene takes place on top of them. I think on my last playthrough, Manfroy was standing on Beowulf's face. Sadly, I didn't do that this time because I thought Deirdre's abduction didn't happen until the end of the chapter.

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Chapter 3, Part 2: The Eldigan Trail



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Capturing Madino Castle will cause Chagall to send Eldigan after us.
 
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And, as luck would have it, a few of our units just so happen to be near where he spawns. If things don't work out here, I might end up having to soft-reset to before Madino so I can move them away.
 
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If we have Raquesis talk to Eldigan, he'll give her the Earth Sword (basically Nosferatu as a Magic Sword), and leave the battlefield.
 
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And with that, allow me to explain why I believe Eldigan is one of the stupidest instances of the Camus archetype in the entire series. Other Camuses at least had a reason to be fighting against you. The original Camus knew that his loved ones would be executed if he turned against Dolhr. Same with Mustafa. Yen'fay fought against you to ensure the safety of his sister. But Eldigan? His sister was already safely under Sigurd's custody. There's no way Chagall could have targeted her. Thus, the only reason Eldigan had to fight against Sigurd was because of his blind loyalty to a despicable tyrant who not only threw him in prison, but also showed no signs of gratefulness whatsoever when Eldigan saved him from a well-deserved death at the hands of Sigurd's army. Other Camuses may have had varying shades of the "Lawful Stupid" trope, but Eldigan is practically the living embodiment of it.
 
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This screenshot of Azel's inventory has absolutely nothing to do with the current battle, but since it's the 420th image, I wanted it to have something to do with fire.
 
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Soon...
 
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Aww, shit.
 
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Oh, good. They're way the fuck over there.
 
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With Eldigan and his pesky Leadership Stars out of the way, the Cross Knights don't pose as much of a threat. However, we should still be careful due to the damage they've inflicted beforehand.
 
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In the midst of the ensuing chaos, Adean maxes out her levels. Here are her final stats. However, because she won't be leaving the party for plot-related reasons, this time she'll get to keep her inventory items rather than selling them off.
 
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Despite my little heart attack earlier, the Wyvern Knights pose little threat to our ranged units like Jamke, Lewyn, and Midayle. Their leader also drops the Renewal Ring upon defeat.
 
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One painfully-slow return trip to the Home Castle later... (hilariously enough, nobody notices that Deirdre is missing)
 
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...not only does Arden promote...
 
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...but his Love Points with Raquesis are almost maxed out. With any luck, they should be married by the time they reunite with the main group.
 
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Visiting this village will increase your DEF by a single point.
 
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As promised, I'll be showing off Chagall's unique boss conversations, starting with ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN...
 
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...and Raquesis.
 
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On a side note, Bolganon's animation looks really cool in this game. Opening up a hole in the earth's crust to unleash burning lava on the target.
 
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When Chagall finally kicks the bucket, he'll drop a Silver Blade.
 
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Worth noting is that in the manga, Shanan witnessed Deirdre's abduction, and Deirdre actually tried to fight back against Manfroy in order to protect him.
 
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Before we close out this episode, mission complete!

 

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Worth noting is that in the manga, Shanan witnessed Deirdre's abduction, and Deirdre actually tried to fight back against Manfroy in order to protect him.

@Iridium:

I feel like it says a lot if they actually had to completely change a scene just to make it not completely stupid.

 

No broken images in this episode, either!

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Chapter 3, Part 3: Yu Gonna Get Tilted



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Once again, Briggid makes her introduction by bad-mouthing a palette swap of one of the best voice actors of our time.
 
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Whaddaya mean, we can't just resurrect one of the Twelve Crusaders and win this war in a heartbeat?!
 
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Once again, we're left with just a small number of turns left before the love points for this chapter max out.
 
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I miss the good ol' days when the Gae Bolg was called the Gay Borg... :(
 
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There may be a lot of Pirates running around, but the good news is that there's only one village we have to worry about.
 
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One of the Pirate mini-bosses drops the Leg Ring, which is sort of wasted on a flying unit like Ferry. We might want to sell it to Arden later.
 
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While we're here, let's talk about Tiltyu. In addition to being the Est archetype of the first generation, she's also the only pure magical mother, as opposed to having one magical child and one physical one. She also has the Wrath skill, from before it got nerfed to hell in Awakening. In this game, Wrath guarantees a critical hit when you're at low health. So, combined with Vantage (or whatever the fuck they call it in this patch) for a deadly combination. Tiltyu's best pairings are Azel and Lewyn, with the latter offering a disc-one nuke for the second gen. But for this Down's Syndrome run, she's marrying Noishe.
 
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And finally, our last bachelorette is Briggid, the only other pure physical mother other than Ayra. Her son Faval will automatically possess the Holy Blood required to wield the Yewfelle, so pairing her is purely a matter of what skills you want to pass down. Her best options are Dew, Holyn, Jamke, Lex, and Midayle. But for this run, she's getting Azel, not only to limit her physical children's potential with a magical father, but also to pass down a redundant Pursuit skill.
 
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Rounding out the cast of the first generation is Claud, one of the reasons why this game needs a remake with Awakening's new mechanics. The Valkyrie Staff can resurrect a dead unit, but can only be used once, and costs shitloads of gold to repair. And because most players will soft-reset if someone dies anyway, Claud is generally passed up as "useless". However, even if the Star-ranked staff isn't very good, the A-ranked staffs more then make up for it. If you decide to pair Sylvia up at all, Claud is probably your best bet. For a novelty pairing, Ferry is also a great choice, as Falco Knights can use Staffs in this game, just like in Awakening. Thus, should you pair Claud with Ferry, you'll end up with a Falco Knight with an A-rank in staffs, which, when combined with a Fortify Staff and a Leg Ring, will provide the longest-ranged healer in the entire series. Finally, it's always a good idea to keep the Valkyrie Staff around just in case something like this happens. (EDITOR'S NOTE: The broken link here originally led to a thread from NS2's old Fire Emblem board, where someone had accidentally saved themself into a corner by neglecting to take advantage of FE4's multiple save slots, and was stuck in a position where a Game Over was inevitable.)
 
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While we were busy moving everyone over to the Orgahill region, Jamke and Sylvia finally got married.
 
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Have Lenna Adean talk to Faris Briggid to give her the Yewfelle.
 
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While selling Ferry's Leg Ring to the Pawn Shop for Arden to pick up, we swing by the Fortune Teller for some good news. Speaking of Ferry, I just now realized that I forgot to talk about her. Ferry is sort of like Sumia: she's a Pegasus Knight, but her best pairings are Mages. Canonically, she marries Lewyn, and gives birth to a rape machine named Ced who wields the Forseti Tome. Another good option for her is Claud, who I described earlier. But for this run, she's marrying Midayle for a redundant Pursuit skill and a lower Magic growth for Ced.
 
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You can also have Claud talk to ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN for some important plot stuff.
 
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If we have Dew wait in front of Blaggi Tower...
 
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...he'll find the Wind Sword, which would be a decent weapon for him if his MAG weren't even shittier than his STR. To the Pawn Shop with you!
 
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Before we start our main Boss Abuse session for this chapter, here's Dobarl's unique boss conversation with Briggid. Our first priority should be to get Quan to about level 25, as he'll be leaving soon. As such, I gave him the Paragon Ring.
 
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Rather than put together a before-and-after collage of everyone's stats in Photoshop, this time I'll just show off each individual unit as they promote, and give a description of any changes I made to their inventory. To start with, Raquesis becomes a Master Knight, one of the most versatile classes in the entire series. She can now wield every type of weapon except for Dark Magic. Since she no longer needs the Knight Ring, I sold it off and bought her a bunch of Silver weapons from the Item Shop.
 
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Next up is Finn, the other Lance Knight from Leonster who'll soon be leaving us for plot-related reasons. I sold off his entire inventory except for his Brave Lance.
 
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Next in line is Holyn, along with even more translation-related fuckery. Despite his base class being re-translated as Myrmidon, he promotes into a Hero instead of a Swordmaster. But despite being a Hero, he can't wield Axes. As such, his inventory will remain unchanged.
 
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Then we have Lewyn, who becomes a Sage and learns how to use Staffs and Light Magic in addition to the Anima triangle. Since Raquesis and Claud have maxed out their levels while staff abusing, Lewyn can have one of their Heal Staffs.
 
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Next up is Ayra, who promotes to... Swordmaster?! Make up your goddamn mind already! Anyway, Ayra doesn't need anything other than her Brave Sword, but her old Iron Blade will make a fantastic hand-me-down weapon with its astronomical kill count.
 
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Then there's Ferry. In addition to a Heal Staff, I also gave her Quan's old Steel Lance since the weapon weight mechanic doesn't exist in this game. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Actually, it does. I'm just too stupid to explain how it works.)
 
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Noishe didn't really change much aside from increased weapon levels, so the only change I made to his inventory was to replace his Iron Lance with a Steel one.
 
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Next up, we have Beowulf, who promoted from a Free Knight to a Ranger. I sold his Steel Sword and replaced it with Ayra's Iron Blade.
 
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Finally, we have Dew, who I saved for last so he could score the boss kill and pick up the Power Ring that Dobarl drops. I replaced his Iron Sword with Beowulf's Steel one.
 
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The final stats of the three healers who maxed out their levels by staff-abusing. All that's left is Tiltyu, but she's too fragile to survive even a single hit from Dobarl's Hand Axe. So instead, I gave her Quan's Paragon Ring so we can focus on leveling her up in the next chapter.
 
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Finally, after 791 turns of Boss Abuse, we close out the chapter with some important plot stuff.

 

Next time, we'll start working on the final three Down's Syndrome pairings: Ayra x Claud, Tiltyu x Noishe, and Briggid x Azel!

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Chapter 4, Part 1: Re-Used Portraits Galore



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Expository plot stuff. By the way, do Lewyn's evil uncles look familiar to you? Well, they should. They're Elliot and Boldo, two of the bosses from Chapter 2. Also, note how the current patch calls the country "Silesse", despite the map still calling it "Silesia". Blame Awakening for that.
 
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Remember that mysterious lady from Chapter 1? The one who gave Lex his Brave Axe? Well, turns out she's the queen of Silesia Silesse Vergil. What was she doing in Verdane? Hell if I know.
 
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I know I don't usually go over the important plot stuff until the end of the episode, but trust me, this is important foreshadowing.
 
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Damn it's dark out.
 
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I've seen enough mother/son /ss/ hentai to know where this is going.
 
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Despite leaving the group literally right after they join, it is indeed possible to pair up Finn with Briggid or Tiltyu (with the former creating some lulzy continuity errors with Thracia 776). It involves an exploit with the way the Love Growth mechanic works that I can't be assed to discuss here.
 
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All right, finally some action! Before we set out, we'll want to stock up on weapons that are super effective against flyers. Therefore, I gave Dew the Wing Clipper, Azel a Wind Tome, Noishe the Horseslayer, and Ferry the Wind Sword (oh, right, I forgot to mention that Falcon Knights can also use swords in this game). In terms of passing around the various rings, I gave Pursuit to Noishe, Renewal to Lex, Knight to Ayra, and Speed to Tiltyu. Meanwhile, at the Fortune Teller, it's all a giant clusterfuck: Ayra is on Noishe, Alec, Azel, Holyn, Beowulf, Claud, and Lex's minds, with Ayra and Lex being fond of each other. Lewyn is fond of Ferry, but luckily she and Midayle are in love with each other and should hopefully my married soon. Briggid has Azel on her mind, Tiltyu has Claud on hers, and everyone else is already married. We'll have to rearrange our battle formations to fix this.
 
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Of course, FE4 just wouldn't be FE4 without a bunch of villages being attacked by Pirates on the first turn that we can't reach yet.
 
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You can also have ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN talk to Claud for some boring plot stuff.
 
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Raquesis can buy the villages a bit more time by putting the Pirates to sleep, while everyone else prepares to take on that squad of Pegasus Knights.
 
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The mini-boss, Deetva, also has a unique boss conversation with Ferry.
 
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One down, three to go!
 
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Watch out for this Wind Mage hiding in the mountains. He has a long-range Blizzard Tome that he can use to finish off any of your weakened physical units. He almost killed Arden this turn, but Arden was able to save himself by activating Greatshield. Now that Ferry doesn't have to worry about being glued to Midayle anymore, her next assignment is to take this guy out.
 
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To access Thove Castle, you're supposed to have Dew wait on this specific tile to unlock the drawbridge. I'm a little curious to see if the dev team thought of an alternate solution in the event that Dew were dead and Claud didn't have enough money to repair the Valkyrie Staff, but I'm too lazy to find out.
 
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Before we start Boss Abusing, we're going to stand here doing absolutely nothing for a little while, now that we no longer have to worry about recruiting certain characters before turn 50 to maximize Love Growths. While we do so, it would be a good idea to send any remaining bachelors or married couples back to the Home Castle.
 
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Truly one of the greatest love stories ever told. Shakespeare himself would be proud of such beautifully-written dialog!
 
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Also, another conversation about incest.
 
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Good...
 
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...good...
 
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...and, good. Finally, we can start actually using these units without having to worry about keeping them glued to each other! (EDITOR'S NOTE: I accidentally took a screenshot of Tailtiu's inventory screen instead of the screen that shows she's married to Noishe.)
 
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Maios has a unique boss conversation with Lewyn.
 
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While healing Tiltyu between rounds of Boss Abuse, Ferry maxes out her level. Here are her final stats.
 
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Mage... Hero? Eh, could be worse.
 
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Either way, Tiltyu becomes our last unit to promote (unless I decide to start using Alec for whatever reason)! She can now wield swords, staffs, and the Anima triangle.
 
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Maios doesn't drop anything upon defeat, we'll feed the kill to Briggid I guess.
 
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Before we have Sigurd seize Thove Castle, you may have noticed a yellow Mage standing across the bridge to the east of the Home Castle. It would be a good idea to move Lewyn next to him, and start Warping all our units to the Home Castle (especially Adean and Briggid).
 
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Some boring plot stuff to close out the chapter.

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Chapter 4, Part 2: Death, The Universe, And Nothing



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MORE re-used portraits! Come, on game! At least Elliot/Maios and Boldo/Daccar were in different chapters!
 
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Some yuri subtext between Mahnya and Queen Rahna.
 
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It's almost time for yet another scripted battle involving yellow/green units that the game won't let us interfere with. FE4 tends to do this a lot.
 
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I should also mention that one of the Pegasus mini-bosses of this chapter was re-written from a spiteful bitch to a more sympathetic anti-villain in the manga, but I can't remember whether it was Deetva or Pamela.
 
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By the way, those past few screenshots? They were all taken on different turns. The game still won't let me move past this yellow Mage. So, since this time the game is actually forcing us to stand around doing absolutely nothing, I'll take this opportunity to have Lewyn sell his Heal Staff so Tiltyu can pick it up.
 
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And with that, Mahnya creates an archetype that will later be repeated by Phila.
 
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And if that wasn't bad enough, the only thing preventing Ferry from flying over the mountains to rescue her was this invisible yellow barrier. Presumably, a similar barrier was employed by Sauron to prevent the Eagles from just carrying Frodo into Mordor.
 
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After Mahnya's death, Pamela and her cronies will fly off toward Thove Castle, and Andrei will seize Vergil Castle, prompting Queen Rahna to introduce a new gameplay mechanic.
 
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But first, a unique boss conversation between Ferry and Pamela. I think Lewyn might have one, too, but my current setup prevents me from moving him within Pamela's attack range right now.
 
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These green units are Civilians. Since the Rescue command hasn't been invented yet, simply standing next to them and selecting the "Help" command will safely remove them from the battlefield, as well as give an automatic level-up to whoever rescued them. And not just however many EXP they were from leveling-up, either; you get a full 100 EXP. This is an excellent source of EXP for units who can't use Staffs. However, there are two Mages with long-range tomes lurking about who can kill the civilians instantly, so we'll want to Sleep or Silence them to prevent this.
 
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Sadly, Arden's massive girth is too heavy to move across the mountains without a Warp Staff, so it looks like he'll have to sit this one out.
 
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After a few rounds of Staff Abuse with Tiltyu, Lex attacks the boss and maxes out his level. Here are his final stats.
 
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Donnovan doesn't drop anything, either, so this time I'll feed the kill to ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN.
 
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As usual, we'll close off the episode with some boring plot stuff.

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Chapter 4, Part 3: Four Nights At Sety's



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Starting off from the same turn we ended last episode, the very first thing we want to do is have Sylvia dance for ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN so he can move out of the way.
 
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The second thing we want to do is have Lewyn enter Vergil Castle.
 
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The ensuing conversation may be over sixteen screenshots long, but it's worth it. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce one of the most powerful weapons in Fire Emblem history: the Forseti Tome!
 
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Just look at what this baby does to Lewyn's stats: +10 Skill and +20 Speed, in a game where everything but HP caps at 30! Letting Lewyn go childless in this run so that it can't be passed down has got to be the saddest decision I've ever made. Well, second saddest, anyway. Nothing will ever top that time in Shadow Dragon where I had to let Tiki die to unlock Nagi's Gaiden Chapter.
 
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Is this going to be like Monster Girl Quest where I get raped if I lose?
 
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Hora~ hora~! Also, in a normal playthrough, after retrieving Forseti, you can activate a conversation between Lewyn and Ferry that'll pretty much automatically make them lovers. Since Lewyn x Ferry is one of the best pairings in the game, the only time you shouldn't do this is if you're going for Lewyn x Tiltyu instead.
 
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As for Lamia herself, we'll want to approach this fight defensively. Two of Lamia's underlings are equipped with Brave Swords, and another two wield Sleep Swords, which do just that: put our units to sleep. As such, we'll want to let them come to us so our Mages and Archers can take out the Myrmidons from a safe distance. Lamia is also holding another Renewal Ring, but sadly doesn't drop it upon defeat.
 
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I don't usually capture unimportant battle scenes, but I wanted the chance to show off Forseti's attack animation, so here you go. Note how the enemy Myrmidon's Hit rate is at 0. We'll be seeing that in pretty much all of Lewyn's battles from here on out.
 
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If you want, you can build a Human Cage around that enemy Archer and keep that Cleric alive to do a bit of grinding. But since my entire army is already promoted, I don't really need to.
 
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Also, Tiltyu reaches level 30 because I forgot to sell the Paragon Ring when she promoted. This makes her our final Staff user to max out. Here are her final stats.
 
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Daccar has a unique boss conversation with Lewyn (but not with Ferry, for some odd reason).
 
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And, just like every other boss in this chapter, he doesn't drop anything. So, we'll feed the kill to Azel.
 
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Yawn.

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Chapter 5, Part 1: Life of Vylon



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The last expository plot stuff of the first generation.
 
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And with that, we've hit image number 666.
 
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But first, let's go to the Arena!
 
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A Rogue named Thief? Clever.
 
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Starting off, we have a few assholishly-placed Villages and Bandits in the exact opposite direction that we want to go.
 
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We also need to have ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN talk to Vylon before he gets killed by the fuckloads of enemies pursuing him from all directions.
 
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In addition, we can also view not only a conversation between the Jungby sisters...
 
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...but also enough important plot stuff to make Tim Buckley proud.
 
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After a tearful farewell between father and son, we finally obtain Sigurd's ultimate weapon: the Holy Sword of the Crusader Baldur...
 
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...the Broken Sword! theydonothing; If necessary, you'll want to have Dew give Sigurd some gold, and then Warp him back to the Home Castle to repair it.
 
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For reference, it costs 50,000 gold to repair. However, don't worry if neither Sigurd nor Dew have a full wallet; you can always pay a fraction of the price to restore a fraction of its full uses.
 
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One thing that I love about this chapter is that there are a lot of unique boss conversations. First off, here's Adean vs Andrei.
 
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Followed, naturally, by Briggid vs Andrei.
 
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And once again, an invisible yellow barrier prevents us from sequence breaking by just having Ferry fly over everything.
 
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Back on the subject of secret conversations, there's another one that Arden can have if he waits on this tile, but only if he has a waifu. Since this should normally never happen in a non-Down's Syndrome playthrough, I'll be showing it here.
 
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This will increase his Skill by five points. Nowhere near as cool as the Pursuit Ring.
 
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Before we tackle Lubeck Castle, we'll want to get rid of those Ballisticians. This will prove a bit tricky because the two pairs can cover each other's blind spots, so just sending in Ferry will likely get her killed. Also note that the three Generals surrounding the castle are packing Brave Axes.
 
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To get around this, we'll have our mounted units take out the Ballisticians near the castle, then send Ferry after the ones under the little ledge to the northeast.
 
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As we move our main battalion toward Lubeck for one final round of Boss Abuse, we view the last two unique boss conversations of this episode: Lex vs Langbart...
 
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...and Sigurd vs Langbart.
 
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Once everyone's at level 30, I feed the kill to Lewyn since we'll only get to use Forseti for the remainder of this chapter.
 
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As we close out the episode on even more important plot stuff, we also see some unique overworld sprites of Oifey and Shanan carrying baby Seliph.

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