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Tyranogre

Ty plays FE4: The Down's Syndrome Run

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With NS2 likely to disappear forever at any moment now, I figured now would be a good time to archive the Let's Play I did of FE4 from 4 years ago. A few of the screenshots in the original thread are missing from imgur, but luckily I still have all 2,443 of them safe on my hard drive.

 

Also, note that this was played using an older version of FE4's translation patch from before Heroes came out. As such, the names of some characters, locations, and items might be inconsistent.

 

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So, inspired by Iri's Binding Blade playthrough, I decided to start an LP of my own, of Genealogy of the Holy War. However, to make things more interesting, I'm not just doing an ordinary run. I'm doing something that I'd like to call a "Down's Syndrome Run".


What is a Down's Syndrome run? Simple: it's the opposite of a Eugenics run. I'll be intentionally aiming for the worst possible pairings in the first gen, to produce units in the second gen that are genetically engineered to be a shitty as possible. This is different from a substitute-only run, as part of the challenge is actually getting the incompatible parents together; whereas anyone can just kill off all the first-gen women except Deirdre and Ethlyn. There's also the fact that some of the substitute units are almost somewhat useable, like Laylea, Sharlow, Linda, and Amid (with the former two widely considered to be superior to Sylvia's children no matter who her husband is). Thus, the challenge is to overcome the second generation with units that are even weaker than the substitutes.


After consulting with Othin, I have determined that the worst possible pairings are:
*Aideen x Dew
*Ayra x Claude
*Raquesis x Arden
*Sylvia x Jamka
*Fury x Midir
*Tiltyu x Noishe
*Briggid x Azel


Well, technically, I suppose that not all of them are the absolute worst pairings, but I'm not a good enough hacker to replace all the male units with clones of Arden, so these will have to do. Other than the intentionally bad pairings, I'm not imposing any other rules on this run. This means that boss abuse, arena abuse, and intentionally waiting until turn 50 to actually fight so that the love points for the chapter max out, are all fair game. Also, because the chapters in this game can give Ridley a run for his money, I'll be updating the thread after each conquered castle, rather than the actual end of each chapter.


So, without further ado...
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Let's do this!

 

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Prologue, Part 1: These First Few Parts Don't Really Matter Because The Only Female Unit Is Already Married But I'm Including Them Anyway For Completion's Sake



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Starting off, we have the first of many name changes: Midir --> Midayle.


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Too bad Oifey isn't playable in the first gen. Otherwise, he'd get some /ss/ action.


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In a normal playthrough, this would be the last you'd ever see of Arden. But since this is a Down's Syndrome run, he's gonna be one of our MVPs.


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As you can see, the first turn starts with a bandit already at the village. FE4 doesn't fuck around.


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Being an Armor Knight is suffering in a game where most units are mounted.


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All right, Noish, you get the first fight in the game. Let's see how you do...


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Not bad, but not good either. (NOTE: The reason the colors are darker is because I actually paused my emulator in order to get the screenshot before the battle scene automatically ends. Expect to see that a lot in this LP.)


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Alec replaces Arden on guard duty, while Sigurd heads over to the village.


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Name change #2: Aideen --> Adean. Also, this is a scripted battle that's impossible for Midayle to survive. Don't worry; he's not dead.


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Arden's first fight. He dodges, and hits! Now, let's see what we can do about that STR...


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Enter Lex and Azel. Considering the purpose of this LP, I was debating whether or not to kill off the actual good fathers like Lex, but eventually decided that it's okay to keep him around for combat purposes, as long as he stays away from the bachelorettes.


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Arden draws first blood!


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Urgh, I forgot that visiting a town automatically ends your turn in this game.


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Oh well, nothing that Azel can't handle.


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Noish attacks the bandit, and ends his turn.


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Finally, the combat debut of our hero, ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN! Unsurprisingly, he kills the Bandit without lifting a finger.


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Damnit, Arden, if you actually prove yourself useful by dodging all the time, then it's going to undermine the entire purpose of using you in a challenge run!


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Meanwhile, Lex takes a hit, but makes up for the missed combat EXP from last turn.


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What is Azel, chopped liver?


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Lex goes to church to heal off that damage he took last turn, shortly before Azel hides in the bushes to draw aggro from the Bandits.


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Fuck yeah, Azel!


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"Your sister, for one."


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Fuck, talking automatically ends your turn in this game, too.


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Oh well, I'll just send Sigurd along to tackle some more Bandits.


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Finn's first kill. Not too bad, considering that he's a Lance Knight in a map where all the enemies are Axe Fighters.


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*sigh* Really, Noish? You couldn't kill the Bandit? This is the kind of shit that I'd expect from Alec, not from you!


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On the bright side, at least that means Ethlyn gets some free EXP. By the way, I'll be seeing this screen A LOT in this LP, but will be sparing you guys the boredom of having to stare at it for hundreds of turns while I'm staff, boss, and arena abusing.


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Off-screen: Azel, dodging Hand Axes like a boss.


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Sigurd gets the first level up in the game, but unfortunately I'm too slow to pause my emulator in time to grab the screenshot. So, I take one of his stats screen, instead.


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Finally, Noishe successfully kills the Bandit.


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Azel gets the second level-up in the game, gaining a point each in HP and Magic. Note that unlike in FE6, the little numbers that show the stat growths disappear after being applied, rather than staying on screen long enough to be screencapped.


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Lex, on his way to liberate that village.


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Quan's first kill.


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...Are you fucking kidding me? *sigh* God damnit, Lex...


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Meanwhile, Arden continues to be paradoxically useful as he protects Finn and Quan from Bandits, but just can't quite get a level up just yet. Next turn, for sure.


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Sigurd makes a brief retreat from the front lines to take care of a bandit who's making eyes at Quan.


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The aforementioned Quan, about to be healed by his waifu.


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With the village safely liberated, Azel makes his stealthy retreat.


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Arden takes a hit, but earns a level-up in the process: A single point of HP.


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Azel begins drawing aggro toward the rest of the group...


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...while Sigurd prepares for his assault on Jungby Castle.


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On the enemy's turn, the northwestern village takes another point of damage due to Lex's movement range, but at least the bandit responsible is almost dead as of last turn.


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Sigurd joins the "Movement Range Too Small To Save A Village From Being Raped To Death By Bandits" club, but takes a Fighter as a consolation prize.


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At least the northwestern village is finally safe.


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Noish hides in a tree to attack the Axe Fighters guarding Jungby Castle. I'm choosing to imagine his horse hanging upside-down from one of the branches like a sloth, while Noish dangles from the reins with one hand, and swings his sword with the other.


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Sigurd saves the southern village and gets the Speed Ring. We'll worry about who to sell that to later.


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I'm getting real tired of your shit, Lex.


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Azel gets another level-up: Skill, Speed, and Magic.


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Sigurd gets one, too: HP, Strength, Speed, and Luck.


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...and so does Lex: STR, SPD, DEF, LUK, and MDF. Off-screen, Ethlyn levels-up, and gains absolutely nothing.


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Okay, so now that all the villages are safe, all the Bandits are dead, and Ethlyn has finished capping off everyone's HP, it's finally time to begin our assault on Jungby Castle (for real, this time).


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Lex and Quan take out the first guard, while everyone else moves into position to take out the other two.


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After Sigurd brings the second guard within an inch of death, Finn eats the kill, and earns his first level-up: HP, Skill, and Luck.


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Finally, the third guard is taken out by Azel. Now it's time for our first boss fight!


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But I don't want to kill John DiMaggio! He's one of my favorite voice actors... kcry;


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Arden apparently shares my reservations about killing such a beloved voice acting icon, leaving him with one HP instead. He does, however, gain a level-up: HP, STR, and DEF.


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And thus, Azel steals the prize of "First Boss Kill"!

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im gonna give you a pass on a real warning this time since this is old and i understand we were all different people 4 years ago, but i am going to publicly chastise you for using that title and that picture because i feel like, in general, you need a public chastising sometimes and using those was back then and is still now in bad taste 

 

do not push my buttons by doing anything else degenerate in the near future, thank you 

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11 minutes ago, wildflower said:

im gonna give you a pass on a real warning this time since this is old and i understand we were all different people 4 years ago, but i am going to publicly chastise you for using that title and that picture because i feel like, in general, you need a public chastising sometimes and using those was back then and is still now in bad taste 

 

do not push my buttons by doing anything else degenerate in the near future, thank you 

That's fair.

 

I'm also planning on putting in "Editor's notes" to call my past self out on certain jokes that were in even worse taste.

 

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Prologue, Part 2: Dang it, Midayle!


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Told you he wasn't dead.


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Normally, I'd move everyone over to where the next bridge appears before I have Sigurd seize the castle, so that way everyone gets a head start. But for the sake of showing Iri what the game is like, I'll move them normally.


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You dare insult the great John DiMaggio?! Anyone who tarnishes the name of a great voice actor signs their own death warrant!


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This person looks completely trustworthy and is most definitely not a villain. I mean, just listen to his theme song! Does that sound like a villain to you?


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In loving memory of Sigurd's Steel Sword: Prologue Part 1 - Prologue Part 2. Rest in peace.


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All right, time to mop up some Bandits...


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Midayle's first fight, killing a Bandit that Quan buttered up.


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Archers are no match for the Silver Sword of ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN!


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Quan gets a level-up: HP, STR, and DEF. Off-screen, Azel levels-up and gets MAG.


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The last Archer, taken out by a tag-team of Noish and Finn. Off-screen: Ethlyn levels-up and gains Speed while capping off everyone's HP.


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With that out of the way, we begin our march towards Evans Castle.


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From here, Arden is going to serve as our tank while the Bandits break their knuckles against his girth. Off-screen, he levels-up twice, gaining HP and Speed. Ethlyn does, too, gaining HP and Skill. Also, this is image number 69.


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Several staff-abusing turns later, we start picking off the stragglers.


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Midayle's first level-up: HP and Defense. Off-screen, Finn, Lex, and Sigurd kill three of the Bandits and level-up. Finn gains HP, STR, and Luck. Lex gains HP, STR, Speed, and DEF. Sigurd gains HP and Speed.


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With the Evans Castle guards out of the picture, it's time to start one of my favorite past-times: Boss abusing! We're going to take advantage of Gerrard's regenerating health to level up our two long-range units, Azel and Midayle. Naturally, this means that Ethlyn will get some Staff abuse going on, too. For comparison, here are Azel, Midayle, and Ethlyn's stats before boss abuse:


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...and here are their stats AFTER boss abuse:


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The only reason I didn't grind even further is because of financial reasons. Azel only had enough money to fix his Fire tome two and a half times, and if it broke a third time, he would've been unable to fight in Chapter 1's Arena to earn enough money to fix it again. Meanwhile, Ethlyn squandered both her own AND Quan's life savings on Heal staff repairs, but since she promoted, she can now earn her own allowance. If the Prologue had an Arena, then I probably would've been able to promote Azel, grind Midayle to where Azel is now, and completely max out Ethlyn. But alas, the way things are, this is where I had to stop. As the old man from Binding Blade once said: "MONEY IS REALLY IMPORTANT, DAMNIT!"


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Anyway, Sigurd gets the kill because everyone else is too stupid to finish him when he has 5 HP left. (EDITOR'S NOTE: I debated whether or not to leave in any instances of the R-word, since I myself belong to the group that said word is a slur for, but ultimately decided to change it to the less-offensive "stupid".)


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Weren't you paying attention to what Gerrard just said?


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For those who care about your Tactics rating, this is what Boss Abuse does to your turn count.

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1 hour ago, Tyranogre said:

I'm also planning on putting in "Editor's notes" to call my past self out on certain jokes that were in even worse taste.

why not just rewrite those parts? if you're taking the time to do that, i can't imagine any downsides. not like there are loads of people going "THAT'S NOW HOW IT WAS IN THE ORIGINULLL"

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18 minutes ago, Pichi said:

why not just rewrite those parts? if you're taking the time to do that, i can't imagine any downsides. not like there are loads of people going "THAT'S NOW HOW IT WAS IN THE ORIGINULLL"

Rewriting them wouldn’t really work because the entire game has already been played through and commented on. I can’t really come up with new jokes for a four-year-old series of screenshots.

 

So far all I’ve done is replace any instances of the R-word with “stupid”.

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Chapter 1, Part 1: Much Adean About Nothing



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Boring plot stuff.


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Huh, that's interesting. They actually translated her class as "Myrmidon" in this patch. Anyway, this is Ayra, the Navarre archetype of this game. Though, breeding-wise, she's more like Cordelia: she has such amazing genes that her children are practically impossible to fuck up. Everything they could ever need, they'll automatically inherit from their mother, with their father's genes amounting to little more than extra bonuses. As such, for the purpose of this Down's Syndrome run, Ayra will be paired with Claud. But first, we need to actually recruit her.


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First off, this is what the inside of the Home Castle looks like. In each chapter, your army starts off inside a Home Castle (usually the last castle that you conquered at the end of the previous chapter). It's also where your units have to go to Promote once they reach Level 20 (as Ethlyn did off-screen in the last episode). However, if the enemy seizes the Home Castle, it's an automatic Game Over. So, you usually want to leave someone behind to guard it.


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By selecting one of your units and clicking "Town", there are lots of cool things you can do. You can also do this at any other castle that's controlled by either you or the green army. The only difference is that you can only Promote at the Home Castle. For now, let's go to the Arena.


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This should always be the first thing you do at the start of a Chapter. The Arena works differently in this game than in the rest of the series. Each chapter (barring the Prologue) has an arena with seven opponents in it. Each unit can only defeat the seven opponents once, but the opponents will re-spawn if you bring a different unit to the Arena. If you lose, you don't die; instead you're reduced to 1 HP and need to be healed. Now, the thing that makes this fun is that the game doesn't consider fighting in the Arena to be "taking an action", and will therefore allow you to save after each win. But as soon as one of your units sets foot outside the Home Castle, the game will consider it to have "taken an action", and will forbid you from saving until the start of your next turn. Therefore, you'll want to soft-reset if you lose in the Arena, as healing will also "take an action". After you soft-reset, either try again with the same character but a different weapon, or a different character. This will cause the RNG to shuffle around until you can win. But if you get to a point where every character and every weapon results in a loss, then it's probably time to actually start the Chapter. Finally, if you stay on this screen for long enough, you'll get to hear a neat little remix of FE1's "Player Phase" theme.


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The Pawn Shop is basically this game's version of the "Trade" mechanic. In order to transfer items from one unit to another, you have to have the first unit sell the item to the Pawn Shop, and then have the second unit buy it for double the price. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it sucks. But it's one of the things that makes FE4 a different experience. For now, let's have Sigurd get rid of all his items except the Silver Sword. He really doesn't need anything else.


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Next, we're going to have Arden buy the Steel Sword that Sigurd was using before Arvis gave him the Silver Sword. This is the introduction of a new mechanic: for each kill a weapon scores, its critical hit rate will go up by a small percent. A weapon will retain its "kill count", and therefore its critical hit rate, even if you sell it to another unit. Since this Steel Sword was once wielded by the great ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN, it already has a decent kill count on it.


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The Item Shop is basically the Armory, except that each weapon can only be bought once. For now, let's buy that Iron Lance for Noish. Off-screen, I cleared all seven Arena matches with Sigurd, Noish, Azel, Quan, and Ethlyn.


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With preparations out of the way, our first order of business is to take out that Bandit before he destroys that village.


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Meanwhile, we're introduced to Jamke, Adean, and Dew.


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Adean is a bit of an oddball in that she gives birth to a physical son and a magical daughter. As such, a lot of her pairings tend to greatly benefit one of her children while screwing over the other. For the sake of this Down's Syndrome run, I ultimately decided to pair her with Dew, which will result in merely average stats for both children. Luckily, the game spawns her and Dew right next to each other, which should greatly speed up this process.


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While our main force takes care of a Fighter infestation, Lex has an important errand to run elsewhere.


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Ooh, that's nice. I might sell that to Lex later.


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Now comes the tricky part: We need to capture Genoa Castle and then speak to Ayra to recruit her. This would be pretty simple, if not for the fact that Ayra is one of the people guarding the castle. And since Sigurd is both the one who needs to talk to Ayra and the only one who can seize castles, he needs to be able to take out the boss without accidentally killing Ayra.


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Meanwhile, Lex offers the /ss/ couple a helping hand.


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Now, let's carefully scout out Ayra's movement range and plan our attack accordingly. We'll start by moving Sigurd into the attack range of one of the Fighters.


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Now for Step 2: have Sigurd storm the castle, and everyone else GTFO.


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I don't think that village is going to make it, but we'll see how Lex is doing once Adean and Dew are safe.


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For our 100th image, we have Sigurd storm the castle. Off-screen, he kills the boss, levels-up, and gains HP, STR, Luck, and MDF.


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Kinky.


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Unfortunately, Seizing is another one of those pesky actions that end your turn, which means that we can't talk to Ayra just yet. Ooh, the suspense is killing me!

 

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@Chrom

I'm not sure if that's the latest patch or not, but I think they really should've renamed the first arena enemy from Gazak to Gazzak. He's supposed to be an allusion to Gazzak, the boss of Chapter 1 from Shadow Dragon.

 

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Chapter 1, Part 2: The Last Ayrabender



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Starting off, we're technically still on the same turn as we were at the end of the last episode. So, with everyone safely out of Ayra's movement range, our first order of business is to move Sigurd over so he can talk to her. Which he currently can't do, because he just ended his turn by seizing Genoa Castle.


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So instead, let's view a conversation between the /ss/ couple.


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The innuendo just writes itself, really.


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The Warp Staff in this game is significantly less broken than it was in Shadow Dragon, in that you can only Warp people to a castle that you control. On the other hand, it's still a great tool for staff abusing. As a bonus, the conversation also gives Adean 50 Love Points with Dew, which should more than override any that she gained with Lex while the latter was helping them fend off the Fighters. Speaking of Lex, he'll have to delay his trip to the village for one more turn to take out that Archer.


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The good news is that seizing the castle causes Ayra to retreat, making it easier for Sigurd to talk to her.


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Suddenly, this asshole. Luckily, Evans just so happens to be where we sent our army to hide from Ayra, so we shouldn't have to worry about him too much.


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Our next task is to hurry over and take out those Lance Knights before Eldigan sucks up all the EXP.


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Not the most orthodox way for same-turn reinforcements to screw you over, but one that exists nonetheless.


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All right! Thanks to the overwhelming charisma of ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN, we gain a new ally!


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And boy, could we use her help!


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Lex's level-up because why not: HP, DEF, and MDF.


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...and, all the Lance Knights are dead. Fuck you, Eldigan.


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Cutting it real close there, Lex.


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More injuries means more staff abuse!


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Dew's first (on-screen) level-up: SPD, DEF, and MDF.


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:|


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As much as I'd hate to ruin this yuri moment, I need to point out that A): Ethlyn is already married, and B): Adean is attempting to seduce a 13-year-old boy.


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And with that, Ethlyn gets the Return Staff, which enables her to send people back to the Home Castle. Useful for when someone reaches Level 20 in the middle of a battle and you want to promote them quickly, but other than that, not as good as Warp.


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About damn time Ayra finally got some action! Let's see how she does...


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Slightly underwhelming, but nothing a little Arena abuse can't fix...


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Meanwhile, if we have Quan talk to Finn, Finn will gain a few points of STR, SKL, and SPD. Despite what the conversation says, Finn does not get the Brave Lance. That comes later.


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After numerous delays, Lex finally makes it to the village...


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...and leaves the Bandit with 13 HP. anhero;


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Ayra's first level-up: HP, STR, SPD, and DEF.


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Enjoy that 500 Gold, Lex. You've earned it.


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Meanwhile, Marpha Castle is going to keep spitting out reinforcements for Sigurd to take care of while everyone else catches up.


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Now, remember in the last episode when I said Lex had an important errand to run? Well, nearly failing to rescue the village was only part of it. We need to move him through the forest to the north.


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Now that the gang's all here, this would normally be a good time for some Boss abuse. However, this time I actually want to capture the castle quickly so I can check on Dew and Adean's love points at the Fortune Teller.


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Believe it or not, Grima wasn't the first time that a Fire Emblem antagonist was named after a Lord of the Rings character. (EDITOR'S NOTE: This joke makes no sense at all now that Gandolf has been officially localized as "Munnir".)


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"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" vs "SHA-SHA-SHAH!" Who will win?


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Midayle barely makes a scratch, but he does get a level-up: HP, Skill, and DEF.


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Let's see if Azel fares any better...


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Now THAT'S more like it!


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So close, and yet so far...


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...and yet, even closer.


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Before Sigurd seizes the castle, I do some last-minute Staff abuse with Adean, which gives her a level-up of HP and... Strength. :v


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*GASP* John DiMaggio! I KNEW you were still alive! (no, seriously. It's the same portrait.)


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And on the note of being reunited with our favorite voice actor, next stop: Spirit Forest!

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Chapter 1, Part 3: Come On And Slamke, And Welcome To The Jamke



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Don't you mean, "Sandima! You dastard!"?
 
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At least this time he dies during an actual cutscene, as opposed to a scripted battle like Midayle.
 
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"Hi, I'm Archbishop Manfroy! You may remember me from such websites as Tyranogre's mediocre Facebook fanpage!" (EDITOR'S NOTE: Said Facebook fanpage is now pretty much dead. I do most of my shitposting on Twitter now.)
 
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Important plot stuff. Don't worry, Manfroy isn't always as talkative as Jahn.
 
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Anyway, our mission is to take out these Fighters and have Adean talk to Jamke without killing him.
 
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Of course, due to the forest terrain, this is much easier said than done.
 
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Good...
 
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...and, good. Looks like everything is in order.
 
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Also, Ayra completely slaughters the Arena in one go.
 
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Several painfully slow turns later, we finally make it to the forest choke point.
 
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The area is a bit cramped, but does provide Arden with a chance to do some catching up. The tricky part is arranging my units so that they can effectively take out the Fighters, while also keeping Adean and Ayra away from their unwanted suitors.
 
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A few significantly less painfully slow turns, a few fuck-ups, and a few soft-resets later, we successfully recruit Jamke. Now to move him away from Adean before he NTRs Dew.
 
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And HOLY FUCK LOOK AT HIM GO! He crits an enemy Fighter to death with ease!
 
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Also, Arden levels-up: HP, STR, and DEF.
 
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If we move Sigurd past the choke-point (which you'd eventually have to do anyway in order to seize the castle, even if you somehow took out the boss by sequence-breaking), this will happen.
 
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And so begins the Shakespearean romance between Deirdre and ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN.
 
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Several even more painfully slow turns later, we finally make it out of the forest, only to discover yet another forest standing between us and Verdane Castle.
 
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To complete Lex's important errand, have him wait on this space.
 
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Pay close attention to this lady here. She'll be important later.
 
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And with that, we have the introduction of FE4's mechanic of rewarding you for sending your units to the middle of Bumblefuck, Nowhere and having them wait on specific tiles.
 
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Pay close attention to Sandima's attack range, and arrange the party in a pattern that's just close enough to draw the guards away from Verdane Castle.
 
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When we're ready, we step into Sandima's attack range, and learn that his sprite looks kinda like a Klansman. Who would've thought that a cult of Dark Mages would be supporters of White Supremacy?
 
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Jamke's first (on-screen) level-up: HP, Skill, Luck, and DEF.
 
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Light Magic looks really trippy in this game. I wish I could show you guys the full animations, but alas, a single frame will have to do. Off-screen: Midayle kills an Archer, levels-up, and gains HP and Speed.
 
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Here, we have a very rare sight: Dew actually killing something! While we're here, I might as well take the time to explain how Dew works. If Ayra is the Cordelia of this game, then Dew is the Gaius. He himself isn't anything special, but he has amazing genes. He passes down Bargain, which halves the cost of buying and repairing items (basically Silver Card as a skill instead of an item), and Sol, which works pretty much the same as it does in Awakening and the Tellius Saga. On top of that, his Speed modifiers are also great. In a regular playthrough, you'd want to pair him up with either Ayra, Sylvia, or Briggid. As a Thief, he will automatically steal Gold from any enemy that he successfully lands a hit on, and can then select the "Give" command to give that Gold to any other unit that you control. This is important because Gold can normally only be directly transferred between units who are married to each other. However, Dew's biggest downfall is his abysmal Strength stat.
 
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Now, with all the guards out of the way, I have some good news, and some bad news.
 
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The good news is that Deirdre was able to cast Silence on Sandima, rendering him impotent.
 
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The bad news is that Silence only lasts for six turns. And since Deirdre has a limited pool of Gold, this means no boss abuse. :(
 
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From here on out, I'll be attempting to show off any unique boss dialogs that are either awesome, or otherwise plot-relevant. This one, however, is rather generic.
 
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With Sandima dead, now's the time to send everyone back to the Home Castle to do some last-minute Arena abusing. Using the Warp and Return staffs with Ethlyn and Adean can greatly speed up this process, as well as gain a few level-ups.
 
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Also, an easily-missable conversation between Ayra and Quan. No reward, though, so don't worry if you miss it.
 
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A common result of sending Dew to the Arena.
 
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After several turns of Arena and Staff abuse, it's finally time to advance the plot. Nothing major, though. King Batou tells Sigurd that the Loptyr Sect was responsible for Verdane's aggression, then dies of his injuries.
 
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Also, since I didn't say it last time, let me say it now: IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KEEP MORE THAN ONE SAVE FILE! I generally keep two: One at the start of each chapter, and one after capturing each castle. This is important because there is no "restart chapter" option on the main menu. So if you fuck up, you'll want to be able to undo your mistake by loading from an earlier save.

 

As we end things off, I've got a few interesting bits of trivia about Jamke. First of all, he was originally going to be an Axe Fighter, until Shozou Kaga took a liking to his character, and changed him into an Archer instead. Secondly, there are conflicting sources as to Jamke's relationship with King Batou and the bosses of this chapter, Kinbois and Gandolf. According to the in-game dialog, Jamke is King Batou's youngest son, with Kinbois and Gandolf being his older brothers. But according to the Fire Emblem 20th Anniversary artbook, King Batou is Jamke's grandfather, with Kinbois and Gandolf being his uncles. In other words, King Batou is either Jamke's father or his grandfather, while Gandolf and Kinbois are either his brothers or his uncles. Of course, considering how much incest is in this game, it's entirely possible that they're both. theydonothing;

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Chapter 2, Part 1: Holyn To The Night



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Expository plot stuff.
 
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These two are one of the pairings that people are talking about when they say this series has a lot of incest.
 
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MAH BOI, this peace is what ALL true warriors strive for!
 
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TL;DR: Chagall's an asshole.
 
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More exposition with our pal Manfroy.
 
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Your Majesty, Chagall and his minions have seized the wielder of Mystletainn!
 
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Did I mention that there was a lot of incest in this series? Because there's kind of a lot of incest in this series.
 
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We'll get into Eve and his brothers a bit later. Trust me, they're important.
 
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Oh, hey! It's the asshole from Chapter 1! Maybe we'll actually get to fight him this time.
 
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Sigurd, Princess Raquesis is under attack by the evil forces of Chagall!
 
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I'm going to Nordion to aid her!
 
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But Darling, what if something happens to you?
 
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I'll take the Triforce of Support Bonuses to protect me! If you don't hear from me in a month, send Oifey!
 
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After the painfully slow intro, we begin preparations by fighting an Arena opponent with the most romantic name ever.
 
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What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am?! I'm the goddamn ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN! (Editor's note: I'm leaving in this one instance of the R-word for the sake of the All-Star Batman and Robin joke.)
 
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And with that, Holyn joins the party. Despite his class being translated as Myrmidon instead of Mercenary, he's pretty much the Ogma archetype of this game. Normally, you'd want to pair him up with Briggid or Ayra. But in this Down's Syndrome run, I couldn't figure out any pairings for him that he could fuck up that couldn't be fucked up even more with other fathers, so he'll most likely remain single.
 
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"Hertzog"? For some reason that name reminds me of an enemy from Metroid II.
 
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Our first objective is to get to Nordion Castle to recruit Raquesis. Those three green Paladins are Eve, Eva, and Alva. You might recognize them from Raquesis's SpotPass team in Awakening. Although their survival isn't critical to the mission, we'll want to keep them alive anyway for some neat rewards.
 
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If we have Deirdre talk to her sister-in-law...
 
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...Ethlyn will receive the Light Sword, an awesome weapon that deals damage based on her Magic stat.
 
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Uh-oh, that's not good...
 
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Luckily, we made it to Nordion Castle with a few turns to spare.
 
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Once our mounted units have knocked over a few of Elliot's troops, Sigurd is able to squeeze in and talk to Raquesis.
 
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Unfortunately, this renders Raquesis unable to leave Nordion Castle. We'll have to take out the rest of Elliot's troops to give her some leg room.
 
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The Bandits are getting uncomfortably close to those villages, but on the bright side, at least this time it's not Lex's fault. theydonothing;
 
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Speaking of Lex, he finishes off Elliot, but doesn't quite gain enough EXP to level up. Which is a shame, because he needs to level up very soon. You'll see why in a bit.
 
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Our next goal is to seize Heirhein Castle, which will indirectly solve our little Bandit problem.
 
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With Adean x Dew mostly underway, it's time to start working on our next Down's Syndrome pairing: Raquesis x Arden. Like Adean, Raquesis also gives birth to a physical son and a magical daughter. Interestingly, she's also one of two instances in the Jugdral timeline of a female unit canonically bearing children from two different fathers. However, in terms of gameplay, she can only have one husbandou. Her best choices are either her canon love interests Finn and Beowulf, or odd-men-out Dew and Azel. For this playthrough, though, she'll gain the honor of bearing children from the downright worst father in the game, Arden.
 
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This time, the boss kill goes to Finn, earning him a level-up of HP and Luck.
 
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:|
 
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With Lex finally at Level 20, it's time to send him back to the Home Castle. Ethlyn's trusty Return Staff will expedite this process.
 
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And with that, Lex gains the title of "first on-screen promotion after Ethlyn stole the first overall promotion by staff-abusing in the Prologue"!
 
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Now for the less-exciting part: moving him halfway across the map again to re-join the rest of the party.
 
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While Jamke finishes off Boldo, Sigurd mops up the last of the guards and seizes Heirhein Castle.
 
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Aside from those villages being attacked by Bandits, of course.

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Chapter 2, Part 2: You Spoony Bard!


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This time, Arden is the one with an important errand to run, but thankfully, it's not as out-of-the-way as Lex's was. The only hassle is that Raquesis has to accompany him for the love growth.
 
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Also, now you can have Quan talk to Finn to give him the Brave Lance.
 
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ABOUT GODDAMN TIME.
 
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Glad to see they at least kept that line in the current patch.
 
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Unfortunately, it may be too late to save that village to the north...
 
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Have Arden wait on this tile to complete his errand.
 
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Behold: The one thing that justifies Arden's existence! The Pursuit Ring is invaluable in a normal playthrough for units who can't normally double-attack, and is also a fantastic choice to pass down to the second generation. But in this Down's Syndrome run? Who knows, I might have Arden hold onto it for a little while...
 
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See this Free Knight standing next to the mini-boss? He's important. Be careful not to kill him.
 
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Sadly, the village to the north was completely destroyed. To this day, the reward for saving it remains unknown.
 
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If we talk to the aforementioned Free Knight with someone who has at least 10,000 Gold on them...
 
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...we recruit Beowulf, the spiritual predecessor of Hugh and Farina! In terms of genetics, I don't think I've ever seen a discussion that involves him being paired up with anyone other than Raquesis. Thus, his only potential mate in this Down's Syndrome run would have to be someone who already gets Pursuit.
 
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An interesting little tidbit is that Beowulf's 10,000-Gold recruitment fee actually goes into his personal funds, which means that unlike Farina and Hugh, the money doesn't "disappear".
 
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psssh...nothin personnel...kid...
 
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Upon defeat, Voltz will drop the highly-sought-after Paragon Ring, which doubles the EXP of anyone holding it. We'll ponder who to give it to later, but for now, it can stay on Midayle.
 
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With the Bandit infestation taken care of, it's time for Lewyn and Sylvia to begin their painfully slow trek through the forest to rendezvous with ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAN-SAMA-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-SAN-SENPAI-CHAN (hey, that time I managed to type out all of his honorifics from memory instead of using copy-and-paste!). The villages will be left alone for now so we can visit them later with people who are short on Gold.
 
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Also, Lex finally catches up.
 
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Aww yeah. ohyeah;
 
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Beowulf's first level-up: HP and Defense.
 
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In addition to Boss Abuse, another favorite strategy of mine is build a "human cage" around an enemy Bow-user so that they can neither move nor attack. This allows a weaker unit like Dew to move over and steal the kill.
 
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Speaking of Boss Abuse, now wouldn't be a bad time to start doing that, especially with Midayle's Paragon Ring.
 
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Several painfully slow turns later, Sigurd and Lewyn finally meet.
 
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Arden and Raquesis have also caught up, which means that the latter can finally get in on some sweet Staff Abuse action. On the sidelines, you can see the beginning of our next Down's Syndrome pairing, Sylvia x Jamke.
 
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MacBeth is taken down by a tag-team of Midayle and Azel, the latter of which is now only two levels away from promoting.
 
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After seizing Anphony Castle, we close out the episode with some boring, but important plot stuff.

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