Tyranogre Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-sits-on-gun-shoots-self-in-penis-police-say Quote JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - A Jacksonville man accidentally shot himself in the penis early Friday morning when he sat on a gun in the driver's seat of his car, police said. Cedrick Jelks, 38, was taken to Memorial Hospital by 25-year-old Shanekia Roberts, who told police that Jelks was sitting in his Nissan Altima by himself and came into their home on Freedom Crossing Trail in a panic and ran straight to the bathroom. She said she followed him and saw that he had a gunshot wound to his penis, so she took him to the hospital, where he underwent surgery. She said Jelks told her he sat on the gun, which accidentally went off. Investigators found that Jelks was convicted of cocaine possession in 2004. It's possible he will be facing charges for possessing a firearm, because he is a convicted felon. Quote Link to comment
April Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 (edited) wondering how many pages of search results you went through to find a headline that said penis Quote A Florida man said Wednesday he felt “blessed” after someone turned in $1,300 he lost at a grocery store parking lot. Chris Woods, of Clearwater, had taken the money out from one bank account two weeks ago with the intention of putting it into another one, according to FOX13 Tampa Bay. He said he thinks he sandwiched the cash between two phones in his pocket and when he went to grab one of them in a Publix parking lot, the cash fell out. “We looked everywhere for it. I went everywhere and assumed it was gone,” Woods told the station. Woods’ luck changed when someone found the cash in the parking lot and turned it into police. The Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office tweeted a photo of a man Tuesday walking through the grocery store. It was Woods. “This morning, my neighbor from across the street came over beating on the door and said, ‘Chris you were on the news. They found your money,’” Woods said. He said he would never forget this Fourth of July and now has over a thousand reasons to be thankful. “There's good people in this world,” he said. “[I’m] very blessed a good person found it.” there you go i killed the meme Edited April 30, 2019 by Pichi Quote Link to comment
Fuzzer1 Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 Here's a good one: https://theweek.com/speedreads/650409/florida-man-rides-manatee-dares-police-arrest-gets-arrested Not sure how to quote the article text. Tyranogre 1 Quote Link to comment
Tyranogre Posted April 30, 2019 Author Share Posted April 30, 2019 50 minutes ago, Pichi said: wondering how many pages of search results you went through to find a headline that said penis It was actually on the first page. Quote Link to comment
"Casual Trash" Kirbys Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 https://www.nbc-2.com/story/39003715/florida-man-arrested-for-giving-girlfriend-wet-willy Uh well this happened... Quote Link to comment
Doc Brown Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 'Florida Man' laughs in the face of Hurricane Florence https://www.jacarandafm.com/shows/workzone-with-barney-simon/florida-man-laughs-face-hurricane-florence/ April 1 Quote Link to comment
EH_STEVE Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 "Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked "Breathalyzer, Blow Here" Arrested for DUI" "He also had condoms strewn throughout the vehicle...and binoculars on the passenger's seat. " https://www.thedrive.com/news/20217/half-nude-florida-man-wearing-underwear-marked-breathalyzer-blow-here-arrested-for-dui Tyranogre 1 Quote Link to comment
Fuzzer1 Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 Oh Florida. Why do you give us crazy news stories on a daily basis? Quote Link to comment
Eliwood8 Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 https://www.nbc29.com/story/38912248/florida-man-sets-raccoon-on-fire-for-eating-his-mangoes Quote Florida man sets raccoon on fire for eating his mangoes A Florida man is accused of setting a raccoon on fire in his front yard in an attempt to kill it. "Eighty-eight-years-old, first time I ever have to go to jail. I never thought about killing nobody in my lifetime - no man, no woman, no kid," said the suspect, Ezra James. Jame posted a $2,000 bail just before he described his plans to killed a raccoon, however, for eating his mangoes, and to prevent it from biting him and giving him rabies. Best part is the last line of the article though: Quote When asked if James would ever set another raccoon on fire, he answered, "No, I'm done with that." Mango ownership is serious shit. Tyranogre 1 Quote Link to comment
EH_STEVE Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 2 hours ago, Fuzzer1 said: Oh Florida. Why do you give us crazy news stories on a daily basis? I think it's actually something to do with the press having more freedom/access to police files. So these crazy ass stories bring in the traffic, so they always dig them up for publication. Quote Link to comment
Spring Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 Florida man receives $980,000 tax refund after reporting $18,497 in wages damn florida man, share the wealth around, i'm out here strugglin like a bitch and florida man livin it up April 1 Quote Link to comment
April Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 On 4/30/2019 at 12:55 AM, Kirbymeister2 said: https://www.nbc-2.com/story/39003715/florida-man-arrested-for-giving-girlfriend-wet-willy Uh well this happened... lmaoooooooooooooooooooo Quote Link to comment
"Casual Trash" Kirbys Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 1 hour ago, Pichi said: lmaoooooooooooooooooooo Some people I tell ya... Quote Link to comment
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