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The Boneyard - N4A Chat Thread, October 2018

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Posted (edited)

This place is barely alive anymore anyways, and NSider2 is also still technically up but even less alive.  All in all, the NSider community barely exists anymore.


I mean, I saw that guy who was posting about Outsider's new domain, last time I checked, no one even posted there since September.  His posts about Outsider were newer than the posts on Outsider.


But it's like, do people even still use social media as much anymore?  I dunno, it feels like the whole internet is dying in general.


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The internet isn't dying, communities just migrate to different platforms.  Discussion forums as a format see less activity nowadays as opposed to chat clients like Discord or other self-centralized social media platforms like FB/IG/Twitter.

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4 hours ago, Tyranogre said:

@Kodiack Is it just me, or has our "total members" number gone down over the past few days?

Sometimes there are a handful of spam accounts that register but don't make it through the filter. The member count dips when those accounts eventually get pruned after failing verification for so long.

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language learning is fun because i get to understand sentences like this without looking up anything
but then 5 minutes later i get one that i can try to decipher for 10 minutes and maybe get the general idea but be unsure on specifics that could change the whole meaning
and others i just have no fucking idea and have to force myself to move on

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3 minutes ago, Tyranogre said:

It's all right, Grim.


What you need is to find yourself a good waifu. Then you'll never have to talk to 3DPD ever again!

That's just more depressing lmao.


4 minutes ago, Chrom said:

You're not going to tell us what happened?

I let the first date get to my head. Didn't know how to play my cards right for a follow-up. Every time I wanted to see her again she was either busy (rightfully so since she's got a job and classes and stuff) or she'd cancel last minute cuz something else would come up. I was kind of freaking out cuz I thought she'd lose interest in me if nothing happened, so I'd keep pushing for a second date, whether it was in person or through texting. 


Then last Wednesday we had some back 'n forth over text about her opinion about bass nightclubs. She was going to one on Friday night with her friends before setting off to Montreal for the weekend, and I thought, "Okay well maybe I can see her for a couple of drinks before she goes, eh?"


The next day I send a text broken up into three parts explaining how I don't want to insert myself into her personal life and act like I know her friends (cuz I thought she thought that'd I ask to go to the club Friday night with her) but that I still wanted to see her once or some shit before she left. 


First red flag: don't send overly long texts that try to predict what she's thinking. That's dumb and creepy and awkward. Rightfully so, since she didn't respond to that text, like, at all. 


I text her the next day, worried that I creeped her out. It's just a simple "Yo." Nothing too bad. Still though; nothing.


I wait the entire weekend until yesterday when I saw her after film class. Tried talking to her but she seemed a bit more apprehensive around me. We split up to go to our next classes. Then later that night I realized that I forgot to ask her on how well she did on one of her film assignments and asked through a text, hoping to get some dialogue going or some shit.


She texts me back finally, but it's not the kind of text I wanted to see. 


"Sorry but can you please stop messaging me, thanks."


That sentence ripped through my guts like a saw blade. It would mean one thing if she simply told me she wasn't interested in me or something. But to know that I made someone uncomfortable like that just stings. Like, it's a sign that I never really improved, that I still have that ghoulish effect on people. 


It hurts to know that you creep people out, that you scare them not because you're intimidating, but because you seem unpredictable and weird and awkward.


But I get it. If I do anything else, I'll make things worse. Plus I don't want to make her more scared than she already is. That's just fucked up. 

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30 minutes ago, Tyranogre said:

Well, if you do happen to see her again, you could try apologizing to her.


Maybe she just had a bad day.

Yeah honestly that's probably the only thing I can do. 


Heh, maybe I'm the reason why she had a bad day. 

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3 minutes ago, Sir Grim Locksmith VIII said:

Yeah honestly that's probably the only thing I can do. 


Heh, maybe I'm the reason why she had a bad day. 

don't do that


if she wanted an apology out of you she could have easily gotten one already


she obviously doesn't want to talk to you, so leave her alone

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So I'm waiting for a psych appointment and some guy sitting across from me stops breathing. I don't know if he had a heart attack, or a stroke, or what, but within a few minutes someone called 911 and there were paramedics surrounding him. Later found out that he woke up and got taken to the emergency room.

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On 10/10/2018 at 8:15 PM, Sir Grim Locksmith VIII said:

That's just more depressing lmao.


I let the first date get to my head. Didn't know how to play my cards right for a follow-up. Every time I wanted to see her again she was either busy (rightfully so since she's got a job and classes and stuff) or she'd cancel last minute cuz something else would come up. 

Okay lemme speak as a former awkward as hell dude:

You def read way too much into things but it's okay to get a little excited. 
The poison is in overvaluing people. That's how you end up all weird about shit cause you start obsessing.

And you forget that whoever you're into is just a regular person.
She was clearly receptive to a degree or you wouldn't have connected to begin with, but not enough to go out of her way to make plans. Like y'all just talked for a couple days. Your "ghoulish effect" is just you coming on way too strong.
Imagine how you'd feel if you just made some casual acquaintance but then they hounded you for plans for a long time.
Even if they were cool when you talked, it'd be a little weird. Add the trend of guys like that having a reputation for taking rejection very poorly and it's a major red flag.
(even if you personally don't)

The point, though, is that you most likely don't have some horrid inner vibe. If you're aware of these problems, you can work to fix them.
The easiest thing you can do right away to make progress towards that is just match people's interest.
Generally, if you put in effort to make plans and somebody is genuinely interested, they'll make time, or at least keep you updated if they're really that busy.
If it's at her convenience, then it should be the same for you. That's not even a dating thing. It's just valuing yourself lol

But seriously it's not some fuckin' weird chess game. You don't gotta play your cards right.

Just treat women like the regular people they are and treat the situation like a regular social situation.

If you find that hard to do, cause you're nervous around them or whatever it may be, just try honestly making friends with women when the opportunity arises.
Don't worry about finding a date and all that pressure will disappear cause you're just looking for interesting people to befriend and not trying to impress anybody or making the "right moves." That helped me much more than anything.

Edited by Pichi

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10 hours ago, Jon Mess said:

@Pichiare your emotes worth my Twitch Prime sub? 

if you like DK or pokegirls probably.
if you're talking about sheer value then idk i didn't really make mine for wide appeal rofl
it's these + 1 I haven't made yet. that and the last one here are locked to a higher tier 'til i have another slot though.


Edited by Pichi

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On 10/10/2018 at 2:54 PM, Sir Grim Locksmith VIII said:

Welp @luca: looks like you were right about that chick I "went out" with. 


Oof, damn, the truth really does hurt sometimes. 

my dude stop focusing on getting your dick wet and just make friends lmao, if it heads in that direction it does, but don't make that your mission statement or don't even put your hopes in it happening, don't think about "going out" with people

you have the opposite problem i do which is you think too much about going "OH WOMAN WANT FRIENDSHIP MEANS WOMAN WANT DATE WHICH MEANS WOMAN MIGHT WANT DICK" and those intentions can become clear as fuck to people so knock that shit off 0|

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