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The Boneyard - N4A Chat Thread, October 2018


Chrom

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On 10/12/2018 at 9:49 PM, luca said:

my dude stop focusing on getting your dick wet and just make friends lmao, if it heads in that direction it does, but don't make that your mission statement or don't even put your hopes in it happening, don't think about "going out" with people

you have the opposite problem i do which is you think too much about going "OH WOMAN WANT FRIENDSHIP MEANS WOMAN WANT DATE WHICH MEANS WOMAN MIGHT WANT DICK" and those intentions can become clear as fuck to people so knock that shit off 0|

Yeah, I know. And I felt sleazy and gross after I realized my mind kept wandering in that direction.  

 

I guess I just get really insecure ya know? Like, I'm ashamed of who I am so I keep lying to myself in the vain hope that I'll be right. That, yeah, I'm desirable on some level. 

 

My thought process is kind of a paradox in a way, I guess. I know you need to love yourself before you can even begin to think you can receive that kind of affection from others, but I judge my self worth by whether I can receive that kind of affection from others.

 

So when I don't receive it, I end up hating myself, and people see that, so they don't want to put up with my transparently toxic nature (rightfully so). Thus perpetuates the self-sabotaging cycle of self-loathing and creepiness that has plagued me for years. 

 

Luckily I've stopped caring and just left the whole thing alone. It's the only right thing to do at this point. Kinda sucks I did this, but I gotta live with my mistakes now. 

 

tldr: I learned to stop caring cuz that's the only way I can break out of my own self-hatred, yeet. 

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It’s that time of year again

 

Although unlike others, I’m waiting until after when candy goes on sale...

 

that honestly excites me more... though I suppose that could be more due to me being an adult...

 

Though for a long while Halloween just hasn’t excited me too much over many years... may just be me, though...?

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@Sir Grim Locksmith VIII

 

Grim, let me tell you a story.

 

About six years ago, I was at SacAnime, browsing the artist alley, when all of a sudden, a girl approached me and said that she recognized me. As it turned out, she ran a booth in the vendor's hall, and I had bought some stuff from her booth at a previous con. So we chatted for a bit, talked about our favorite anime, until eventually, she invited me to Starbucks for coffee.

 

So we sat down together, chatted some more about what special guests we wanted to meet, and at some point, she asked for my phone number. Now, keep in mind, this was about a year and a half after I had broken up with my girlfriend of four years, and I was still a little bit shaken up about the whole dating ordeal. But this new girl, who had approached me, didn't need to know about that.

 

So we continued to hang out together, chatting about our favorite hentai fetishes (which, as you might imagine, is NOT something that you would normally talk about with someone you just met, let alone someone of the opposite sex). Later that day, we sat next to each other at a panel, and guess what she did? She held my fucking hand! And afterwards, she asked me if I wanted to share a hotel room with her at the next con. Naturally, I said yes.

 

So, to reiterate, this girl, who I had just gotten to know after buying stuff from her booth, had invited me to Starbucks, asked for my phone number, held my hand, and offered to share a hotel room with me. I believe you can see what kind of idea I may have gotten from these interactions.

 

So the next day, the last day of the con. Closing ceremonies. After I picked up my suitcase from the hotel storage, I figured now was my last chance. I looked her straight in the eyes, and said the magic words:

 

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

 

The following fifteen seconds of silence felt like a marathon of Endless Eight.

 

She then explained that, just like me, she had also gone through a breakup with someone she had been with for a long time, and wasn't ready for dating yet.

 

So you know what I did next? I said, "That's okay. I still had a wonderful time with you this weekend. Do you still want to share a hotel room at the next show?"

 

And that was it. We chatted a bit more about anime, shared a hotel room at the next show, slept in separate beds, and had a great time together.

 

And guess what? To this day, I still see her at cons. We still talk about hentai. Sometimes I help her set up her booth, and she offers me discounts. Heck, at AX this past summer, she even winked at one of my onaholes and said "Nice."

 

I guess what I'm trying to say, Grim, is that even though she didn't become my significant other, she's still a great friend. If she ever decides that she wants to take things to the next level, that's fine with me. If she doesn't, that's fine with me. Because she's my friend.

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Though it took a few hours, but finally have the full Creepy set and other Halloween items in New Leaf tonight

 

Ended up making a second female character to get the Patched dress and the last creepy item, though...

 

But think I got what I needed - I don’t think I’ll be going for duplicates...

 

Edit: 

 

looked like Ike I was only missing the Spooky Table and Mummy Mask (even though I don’t have any villagers for that one...) but at least I have a complete set of the Halloween items 

 

Woo.

Edited by Shadow118
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