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'Twas December on Ninfora, and all through the site,

One question kept people awake every night.

With the holidays coming, it only seemed strange

To hear nothing regarding our yearly exchange?

But alas, the bad news soon swept through the nation:

Jolly Old Santa @Chrom was on winter vacation.

With nobody else to take up the mantle,

It seemed like the Secret Santa event would be cancelled.

But just when it seemed like all hope had been lost,

Two rival big brothers appeared through the frost.

One hailing from Hoshido, the other from Nohr,

Christmas might well be saved by a different Lord...

 

 

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"I'm Mister Fates Birthright
I'm Mister White
I'm Mister Swordmaster
I'm Mister Kingdom of Light
Friends call me Prince Ryoma
As far as routes go,
Difficulty is low
Hoshido!"


"He's Mister Fates Birthright
He's Mister White
He's Mister Swordmaster
He's Mister Kingdom of Light
Friends call him Prince Ryoma,
Whenever he crits,
Mows down foes in a blitz,
Holy shit!"


"I never want to see a gamer
Stuggling for EXP
I'd rather have a world map
Fully explorable, open and free!

(spoken)Take as much time as you want to grind. Those resources aren't going anywhere!"


"He's Mister Fates Birthright
He's Mister White" "That's right!"
"He's Mister Swordmaster
He's Mister Kingdom of Light"
"Friends call me Prince Ryoma,
My route is a breeze!
Nice and simple to cheese
With great ease!"
"Great ease!"

 

 

Face_0.png

"All right, you fucking weeaboo, move over! It's time for the real man to have a musical number!"

 

"I'm Mister Fates Conquest,

I'm Mister Black

I'm Mister Paladin

I'm Mister Lull Atk

They call me Prince Xander

And much like the sky,

Difficulty is high"

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"He's Mister Fates Conquest,

He's Mister Black

He's Mister Paladin

He's Mister Lull Atk"

"They call me Prince Xander

This campaign is rough,

Resources never enough!"

"It's too tough!"

"Tough shit!

 

I never want to see a gamer

Grinding for EXP

Unless they've shelled out twenty bucks

For the grinding DLC!

(spoken) Of course, if you're going to do that, then why are you even playing Conquest in the first place, you filthy casual?!"

 

"He's Mister Fates Conquest,

He's Mister Black" "Sing it!"

"He's Mister Paladin

He's Mister Lull Atk"

"They call me Prince Xander,

Despite all my faults...

Camilla.png?itok=dLhffACUCamilla-Bunny.png?itok=EKjnenl6New-Year-Camilla.png?itok=8AvxJ-qcSummer-Camilla-Icon.png?itok=qdIqYegGA-Camilla-Icon1.png?itok=k_qqLmKLH-Camilla-Icon-.png?itok=nKqgz_TzCYL-Camilla-Icon.png?itok=3XcK7jIITsunade.png?itok=bBitrHWK

...Sister's got tons of alts!

Smell the salt!"

"Big salt!"

 

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"All right, what the hell is going on here?! What's all this racket?!"

 

L-Ryoma-Icon.png?itok=jgBMmS6M

"Santa Chrom?!"

 

Zander.png?itok=Z93lli1o

"We were just having a little dance-off to determine who'd run the Secret Santa event from now on, since you're retiring!"

 

Winter-Chrom-Icon_0.png?itok=ap3F5v7v

"I never said I was retiring; I was just on vacation. And besides, even if something were to happen to me, I already know who my successor would be."

 

WVW69jVN9I4WVF0tNj.jpg

"H-hello, everyone! I'm Tsubasa Oribe, sixteen eighteen years old! I'm still new at this, but I'll do my best to make sure everybody has a Chrerry Mistmas!"

 

And so, with Santa Chrom's blessing, Tsubasa became the new Winter Envoy. However, due to her clumsiness, she accidentally crashed Santa Chrom's sleigh into a mobile artillery, destroying all the presents! Fortunately, the Tyranogrinch had a backup plan: He gave everybody in the world a copy of Code Name: S.T.E.A.M., the chronically under-appreciated strategy game for the 3DS. Thus, everyone finally realized what an awesome game it was, and they all lived happily ever after.

 

The End

Edited by Tyranogre
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